Long-Term Handle Problems...

Just_Dave

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
529
When They Happen and Do it the Right Way!!

There's nothing more annoying than someone dwelling a problem or bringing up problems hours, days, and sometimes weeks when it happens. Also, people who bring other people into their problem. I have a good relationship with my current girlfriend because I insist in having things like problems out in the open, and that we talk things through. When something happens if at all, I don't blow up at her have a hissy fit. No, I examine the problem, handle it, and then not even worry about who's to blame. Rather I look at ways to keep it from happening again.

I remember three weeks into my relationship with my girlfriend. She was worried I'd break up with her because she couldn't afford to go to the same school as me. I told her if that's the worse thing to happen in our relationship I'm fine with that. In fact, the distance has allowed us time to develop ourselves and focus on school. We still talk everyday and see each other when our schedules permit.

You can only worry about thing you can control. Thing you can't, you must let them go!

Other thing you don't want to do is be paranoid. I don't worry about my girlfriend cheating on because I'm handling my relationship properly. I don't try and stop cheating because like Chase said in the article it won't work. Guys approach my girlfriend and girls approach me but at the end of the day it's about trust. If you don't have trust or faith in your girlfriend, you relationship will suck and fail!!

How I avoided drama/problems:
In the beginning I told my girlfriend I was not looking for a party girl, drinker, smoker, and other qualities of the such. I also had the talk about her how one my friends in a successful relationship told me couples should not live the single person lifestyle. I asked about her relationship with her father, this is absolutely crucial. A girl's relationship with her father will determine her relationship with any man. I screened her harder than any girl I ever have in my life because I knew what I was looking for in a girlfriend.

I established a team mentality so we eliminated games from the start. All games do is emotionally drain the both of you. If you're a team you aren't trying to one up each other. Instead I take time to build my girlfriend up and make her feel special. Be genuine, don't just say something to say but you have to mean it.

Be Sexy and Powerful:
My girlfriend knows I have a no tolerance for foolishness because I told her about my family background. I make love to her on the regular and I make it as passionate as possible. I told her if I'm not going to put my everything into something, then I shouldn't be doing it at all. For powerful I took modeling classes on developing a sexy walk and fierce style. She also knows I value my time and I don't want it wasted.

Be Balanced:
At the end of the day when I'm not destroying tests and traveling, I just like to chill. Show her your happy, calm, and still sexy side. Don't be overtly serious so she's in fear of you. Rather encourage her to her open her heart and let you in on her desires. Reward her for this.

Encourage Good Behavior:
I tell my girlfriend I love the way she smiles around me, the way she holds me on cold nights, the way well kiss in the morning, etc... Anything that you like tell her and she'll do it more often without being told.

Your neighbor,

Just Dave

 

Razzputin

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
May 21, 2013
Messages
7
Dave, can I ask you sifu, how open you should be towards your girl? Without coming weak and losing intrigue?

My gf was quite on to me so far? But; now she starts to get somehow distant, or showing escapism towards her friends or comtempt and uncompliance.
Should I talk this to her, in a calm manner. Or just get unreactive, and uninterested, make her see I won't abide by this behaivour?
 

Just_Dave

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
529
Returned from My Absence

Razzputin said:
Dave, can I ask you sifu, how open you should be towards your girl? Without coming weak and losing intrigue?

My gf was quite on to me so far? But; now she starts to get somehow distant, or showing escapism towards her friends or comtempt and uncompliance.
Should I talk this to her, in a calm manner. Or just get unreactive, and uninterested, make her see I won't abide by this behaivour?
I was away from the forums from quite sometime, but what I would've said was

I keep most of my life in a general perspective/don't ask don't tell. You can share general things you do, but she doesn't have to know everything that goes on in your life unless it directly affects her. If your girl is getting weird on you, call her out on it. "Hey, you're acting distant is something bothering?" If she says no, then tell you're trying to enjoy your time with her and it's really hard when she's being moody. Girls will get it together once you share how their negative energy can impact your own.
 
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