Handling social life when you don't feel positive

[kalyan]

It's not about social life only; it's life in general.
I don't want to get too detailed here, but I'm sure many guys (especially those around my age, 19) relate: One moment/ hour/ day/ week you feel powerful, in control of yourself, willing to make approaches/ take positive decisions/ do something good in your life, the other you're emotionally drained. I mean, you could be very happily approaching a girl, being very creative with her, and some other time you feel too intimidated and reserved, and think to yourself "wow, i never thought i could be this inhibited". You could see something attractive on a girl you could comment about and do so one day, or chose to ignore it because you're "not feeling it" the other.You could be reading an article on girlschase and thinking of how happy you are that you found a way to do a certain something a bit better, but some other time you read another piece and feel overwhelmed at how "difficult" the road ahead of you is.
I'm not here to nag; I want to see if anyone is able to provide reasons leading to this behavior (I think sleep affects this with me), and ways to fight it.
I've read chase's article on how to overcome depression, it was helpful at first, but i really can't figure out "how" to do all he says to do most of the time.
If you could pot links to other similar topics, that'd be great!
Thanks

 

[PrettyDecent]

kalyan,

In terms of the emotional ups and downs, that's all quite normal; nothing to worry about.

What does matter is constantly taking action on your goals, even when you don't feel like it. Emotions are fickle, but you can even out the highs and lows if you're making progress in a long term vision (because the present moment doesn't matter to you as much).

~Nick

 

[asshole]

It's not about social life only; it's life in general.
I don't want to get too detailed here, but I'm sure many guys (especially those around my age, 19) relate: One moment/ hour/ day/ week you feel powerful, in control of yourself, willing to make approaches/ take positive decisions/ do something good in your life, the other you're emotionally drained. I mean, you could be very happily approaching a girl, being very creative with her, and some other time you feel too intimidated and reserved, and think to yourself "wow, i never thought i could be this inhibited". You could see something attractive on a girl you could comment about and do so one day, or chose to ignore it because you're "not feeling it" the other.You could be reading an article on girlschase and thinking of how happy you are that you found a way to do a certain something a bit better, but some other time you read another piece and feel overwhelmed at how "difficult" the road ahead of you is.
I'm not here to nag; I want to see if anyone is able to provide reasons leading to this behavior (I think sleep affects this with me), and ways to fight it.
I've read chase's article on how to overcome depression, it was helpful at first, but i really can't figure out "how" to do all he says to do most of the time.
If you could pot links to other similar topics, that'd be great!
Thanks

I think the deal with depression is, most people be like, hey stop thinking about negative feelings, yeah, it's easier said than done, you can do it for a couple days or hours. And then, it eventually creeps up in your thoughts and haunts you until you try again to push it back in your psyche and then it comes back and wins you like Donald Trump in New Hampshire lol. Sorry for the Donald Trump mention, I can't help it. You know someone's a great man when they insist upon writing books and saying things about how great they are.

You might want to reframe things differently, every time you catch yourself doing that, probably in a funny way but don't try too hard and kick yourself.

You said something about feeling too intimidated to talk to girls.

Old self: What a hot bitch? I wish I was able to talk to her like a man. I'm a total loser

New self: What a hot bitch? I was able to talk to her like a man. Next time, remind me to cut my balls off (Credits to Eric Cartman - South Park)

Old Self: You could see something attractive on a girl you could comment about and do so one day, or chose to ignore it because you're "not feeling it" the other

New Self: I'm not one of those guys that does things without feeling a vibe just for the sake of getting a pussy. If she's a girl that makes my fear overwhelm my desire, then she's not my type of girl.

My point was, take pressure off of you every time you do something and think of depressing things like a sportscaster. You are not the player. You are not the coach. You are not the cheerleader. You are not the crowd. You are not the referee. You are just a sportscaster. You don't have any control over these feelings, you just acknowledge and when you catch yourself feeling them, try to reframe.

By sportscaster, I meant an English one, don't ever think you're a Spanish sportscaster. To me, they are just pretty high comedy. They are just not afraid to show their emotions.