Haraklus

[Teparus]

Well, bit of an update...

I sent a follow up / try again text to the aforementioned woman. I figured if I was getting no results from someone who was previously highly attracted to me, there were basically 3 options:
1. Attraction faded. Not a lot to do without the ability to meet up/rebuild it
2. Attainability was too high. In which case...there really wasn't anything to do either, as if she wasn't wanting to get in touch with me, there was no real way to 'be unavailable'.
3. Attainability was too low. In which case, a warm text that let her know I was genuinely interested in her (which is true) might help the problem.

So, I ramped up attainability.

I got a warm reply but one that ultimately sniffed of low attraction. She basically said that she had really blanked out when she was actually talking to me, but she really was busy this week during the times I said I was open...then asked me what I thought about meeting up next week.

Then she followed up and said she really appreciated my good communication skills. With a smiley face. But the whole situation still doesn't seem right, and here I am two days after sending my reply (stating next week is fine, name a day before Thursday) with nothing back from her. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I actually deleted her number, so I have no way of reawakening that
conversational thread unless she gets back in touch with me. Truly leaving the ball in her court. Removing the option makes it pretty easy to move on.

I had a big moment where I decided, "Fuck it. Everything has been off, and I just don't care anymore. I'm going to keep soldiering on no matter what happens.

However, last night I met a pretty young woman who has helped me to take my mind off things.

FR++: The Feminine Tomboy

I was out at a social dance, attending the obligatory pre dance lesson. They put us through a big rotation. This time, the leads/men were being rotated and the follows/women were stationary. Standard practice. It's a pretty guaranteed way to meet lots of women who are on your wavelength if the place is well-populated. In this case, it was. Of the women with whom there was possibly mutual interest, I counted two. A bit low. Most of them were definitely not what I was looking for and on one occasion it was the other way around. This girl was pretty close to the beginning of the rotation. We leaders were told to rotate, and I immediately went into a closed ballroom stance with her without being given specific instructions by the instructor.

It's a good way to gauge interest -- if she keeps her body close to yours / in stance and seems comfortable and happy before and after the period in which you're specifically supposed to be practicing, it's a pretty good sign that she's going to be more receptive to your advances than otherwise. This girl was very receptive. Lots of smiles. Let me hold her hand in mine even slightly past when I was supposed to rotate on as I made some sort of joke about something I don't remember. I definitely pay a lot more attention to body language / run a more physical game when dancing.

Another girl was pretty receptive, and I think may have gone for it, but I wasn't quite "feeling" her. I probably should have later made a move, but I ended up leaving in something of a hurry for reasons I won't go into here.

So, I took note of this receptive girl and met her again on the dance floor later. We danced...once or twice, I think. It was pretty okay. Not amazing, but definitely not bad. None of that "we don't feel the beat in the same way" awkwardness that comes up a small percentage of the time. Lots of smiles and laughs on her end, even when I was saying things that didn't seem particularly funny to me. Good stuff.

On my hurried way out, she caught my eye and I approached her. I stood besides her, nudged her with my knee, and said,
"Hey...would you care to get a drink some time?" (God, how effective that line has proven in getting numbers. Admittedly with a bit less follow through)

She immediately chirped back a "Sure!" and told me she didn't have her phone on her. I pulled mine up, set up the new contact page, and handed it over to her. She put her name in. I flashed her half a grin, put the phone in my pocket, walked away, waved over my shoulder, and told her I'd text her.

When I got home I sent her a brief text telling her who I was and letting her know it was my number. Some time during the night when I was asleep, she told me it was fun to dance with me that night.

Something that I've been leery about recently is waiting too long before setting up a follow up. I think that a lot of my recent troubles are because I let initial good feelings and solid first impressions fade. As someone who almost universally makes a "good" impression but only rarely makes "absurdly outstanding" impressions, and as a guy who tends to focus on women in the 20-23 age range (easily the flakiest and most in the moment women), doing everything I can to keep them on that positive emotional rollercoaster is a bonus.

So, I tried to set up a date the next morning for brunch. She said she was working, but that we could do lunch...we scheduled lunch, and did that thing.

When she came by, she actually looked quite a bit better than I'd remembered (that's the first time in awhile...) and was sporting some sporty clothing. Apparently she's a swimming instructor in one of her two jobs. She claimed to be very tomboyish growing up, but finding herself increasingly feminine as time went by. I agreed and told her I thought she initially seemed very feminine, but the tomboyish side was showing a bit more now.

In the restaurant, we got along well, but there wasn't a lot of room for physicality at all. She definitely liked talking to me and wanted to continue the date, though. Now...we had a ton of leftover food that was spoil sensitive, so I suggested we head back to my place to drop it off, then go for a walk in the nearby trails (she'd expressed an interest in them earlier).

She was also not particularly talkative about herself. Or a lot of things with direct questions. So attempting to continually turn the conversation to her seemed to kind of deflate her. Instead, I spoke about things and saw what she herself naturally related to, and amped up those aspects of the conversation. I did manage to really pique her interest with some hard hitting questions that everybody at least contemplates sometimes (but rarely gets to share), which did help fell her out quite a bit.

Something about her that really stood out to me was that most women I've met who have a hard time talking about themselves have a hard time doing so because there genuinely isn't a lot there to talk about. This woman definitely had more substance.

She agreed happily, and on we went. My place was close by, so essentially no time had passed. I put the stuff in the fridge, and approached her, putting one hand on her waist, and taking her other hand in mine. I pulled her close, leaned my head down to hers, and she looked down. I tilted her chin up, and she turned away and said, "I usually don't...on the first date."

Now...I wasn't going to take this at face value, but I also felt like the heat for escalation wasn't really there, either. I hadn't built up enough attraction or comfort to spend all of that currency on low odds now, and we did have a promising plan (initiated by me, so I wasn't falling back / deferring to her on a strategic level), so I shrugged it off, told her that was cool, and that we had places to be, anyway. She seemed to appreciate it. (Note: This is so not the '++' in the report title)

So, we left. We went hiking. I won't get into all of the interactions, there, but...I slowly amped up the physicality. She actually seemed kind of eager for it, done right and sensitively. At one point, when she was in my arms, against me, my hard cock grinding into her as the warmth of her body and sight of her face got me going, I told her that I was exerting a lot of self control to not grab her and kiss her, and that I was trying to be a gentleman.

She told me that she appreciated it.

This happened again later, and she told me, "You're doing a really good job at this!" I kind of escalated a bit more with some nose to nose contact, then pulling away and telling her I needed to cool off a bit. I actually think I could have gone for the kiss then and had it.

Finally, a few minutes after that incident, I pulled her close again, and she told me, "I actually don't have a rule for the first date or anything, I just..." and trailed off.

"You just do what you feel like doing, and you weren't feeling it in that moment. I get it." I was moving closer at this point and rubbing the side of my nose against hers'.

She smiled. I kissed her. It was...pretty good. I pulled away, complimented her on soft lips, gave her one more kiss, and resumed the hike.

There was more physicality and amping up along the trail, and when we finally got to the top, we sat and enjoyed the view together and played silly children's games (stuff like thumb wars, rock paper scissors, etc).

On the way back down, it was getting kind of late...I said I was hungry. She agreed. I said I knew what I was having -- we already had those time-sensitive leftovers to take care of, and we might as well get to them. She agreed. We continued to mess around, occasionally stop and feel each other up / kiss, and move on.

When we got home, I busted out the food and we sat hip to hip on my couch and ate for a bit. I then started escalating physically again. We moved around and whatnot a lot. She was definitely not at all resistant to anything I could do to her with clothes on, but any time I tried to take anything off, she stopped me. She told me, at one point, "I'm going to keep my clothes on today." I did continue to fool around with her, with some urgency, for about 30 seconds, then backed off and said, "Okay. Then I need to cool off again and not get myself all worked up." (I have noticed that this gets good results, I have some speculations as to why that I won't go into here)

So, we spoke, we laughed, we fooled around. She revealed I was the first guy she had agreed to go out on a date with in awhile, and that she had taken a lot of time off from dating after her last relationship. I asked her what she thought of me so far, she turned the question around, and I told her that even though I asked first, I'd answer first so that she had time to think about her own answer. She told me I didn't have to, I ploughed right in anyway. I'm a bit limited on time, so I won't go into what I said about her. What she said about me...

Her: "I can tell you're a really deep thinker."
Me: "Yeah? Already?"
Her: "You definitely spend a lot of time in thought about a lot of important stuff."
Me: "What gave it away?"
Her: "Oh, I can tell...There are a lot of sides to you."
Me: "You sound like you like that."
Her: "It's okay, I guess. It's nice when you don't just meet someone and immediately know everything about them. When there's something under the surface."
Me: "I think most people are like that, really...but we never see it. They don't quite keep our interest, and so the possibility of their hidden depths doesn't even occur to us. Then again...If most people are like that, what do you have to lose by overlooking them? There's always some else with hidden depths around the corner."
Her: "I guess so. I hadn't thought of it that way!"
Me: "Well, deep thinker over here..."

We laughed and went onto another conversational topic. Or maybe we got physical again. Or both. I don't recall. I'm beat.

Either way...I sent the girl home pretty happy. She thanked me for having a really fun time with her, and I told her we should do it again sometime. She agreed.

There was also some exchange in there about how I'm barbarian. It reminded me of something a former FWB of mine said as well ("you're basically just a decadent barbarian").
I threw in, "Ah, a deep thinking barbarian...".
Her response: "One of your many sides."

Good times. We'll see how it goes. I'm going the fuck to sleep.

 

[milfhuntah]

Awesome, keep it up.

 

[Teparus]

It's been awhile, dear reader, but I've got an update or two for you.

Since my last entry, I've been on one date -- which was actually very enjoyable but lead nowhere. Classic case of "girl with high moral standards", and we ended up getting into an invigorating philosophical debate. The chemistry was there, she was digging me -- fawn eyes periodically, responding well to most touch and initiating it herself. That sort of thing.

However, she (perhaps shrewdly) didn't want to get really physical at all on the first date. At one point, I picked her up and set her on my lap...and she told me that she liked me, but didn't want to sit on my lap. This was in the middle of a conversation, so I just told her, "keep talking" and moved on.

Later, when I went to kiss her, she took a step back and put her hands up firmly in my way and told me that she doesn't kiss on the first date. I actually believed her in this case, unlike the last one. I told her that I liked her, but it wasn't going to work, and wished her a nice life. She wished me one back. It was a worthwhile evening, though it really didn't do much for my seduction skills other than teach me to perhaps screen harder for sexual interest up front, before investing an evening in someone.

So, that's out of the way.

Now...Last night was a hell of a night.
I was actually considering (very briefly) not going out at all, but I've been challenging myself to not spend evenings sitting at home and accumulating rust. I noticed that the last time I actually made a cold approach, it was after a lot of social momentum...and my sex and dating life really do rely on a lot of social momentum to kick start them.

Anyway. The night.

I'm not going to go into tons of detail, but I figure I'll get the gist of it all down here.

I got my first same night pull...but not quite same night lay. I met a girl, talked about 3 minutes, asked her to get food with me, we got some amazing food, we went back to my place. Major mistake on my part: She was really terrified at the prospect of having sex right away, vocalized this, and I promised her we wouldn't...rather than just promising her we wouldn't do anything she wasn't comfortable with.

So, being a man of my word, I kept to that. Ugh....ugh. At my place, she resisted kissing me. I broke through. Persistence, kissing her neck, lingering touch...the usual. By the end, she was jumping my bones for a smooch every 10 minutes.

She got more and more comfortable with touch...and I undressed, then encouraged her to undress. We were there in our underwear together, feeling each other up, and she was complying with everything I told her to do other than oral sex or intercourse. She did give me a handjob, which was cool enough. She stayed over, we got breakfast early, I sent her home.

Seductionwise, that was the main event of the night.

There were a couple of other women who played more minor parts. One girl I made a move on:

Me: "Hey, I think you're really cute...and I know you're smart, and tough. And I'm about to ask you out...but I want to know...You keep glancing away when I look at you. Just for a split second. Am I too intense for you? Or are you just a really introverted person?"
Her: "I guess I'm just...pretty shy, really."
Me: "Okay, I figured it was something like that. Just checking. *pause*
Now, I *am* asking you out. Let's get a drink some time. Soon."
Her: "I would, but...I have a boyfriend."
Me: "Ahh, I gotcha. No worries. I hope that works out really well for ya, miss." *half smile*
Her: *standing there in awe, mouth open, staring at me for a solid 5 seconds*
Her: "Yeah...thank you!"
Me: "Hope the evening treats you well...I'll dance with you again later."

That was actually probably the most fun of the evening.

Another girl I asked out about an hour earlier.

(I don't remember the lead up to this)
Me: "How long have you been in ____?" (city)
Her: "I just moved here!"
Me: "Really? What is 'just'?"
Her: "I've been here about a week!"
Me: "Wow, only a week? Come on a date with me. I'll show you around the downtown."
Her: *pause and thoughtful look* "Yes. I think I will!"
Me: "Cool."
Her: "I'm going to another city this weekend."
Me: "And I'm busy until the weekend."
Her: "So...next week."
Me: "Nice and early."
Her: "Yeah...that sounds good."
Me: "Okay...let's swap digits we'll hash it out a bit later."
Her: "Sure!"

We went over to my phone, I gave it to her, she plugged her stuff in, and we got it taken care of.

She actually texted me as I was typing this up after I followed up with her this morning and said that she really shouldn't have accepted my date, as she was happily engaged and was just really eager to meet new people and that she hoped we were cool.

We are cool. I found that REALLY funny.

So, dear reader, that's what I've been up to. I'll keep you posted.

 

[Teparus]

It's about time to update my chronicles, I suppose.

Since my last update, I've initiated with 2 more women, I think.

One was a very conventionally attractive, sweet girl. I was standing a few feet away from her and overheard her say something about just getting back from Prague...

I was supposed to be in Prague right now. I won't get into details, it fell through, but I was fucking supposed to be there.

Meeting someone who had just come back was the closest thing I was going to get.

So, I initiated a conversation about Prague, we talked about its customs, she told me all about it, we talked, and so on. After about 20 minutes of this, I asked her if she wanted to get a drink with me, then amended to hot chocolate upon her telling me she was 20 years old. She accepted.

It was pretty funny. When I asked her out, initially, she asked, "Why?" Who asks WHY? Hah.

I told her that she was interesting, and beautiful, and I was definitely willing to invest an hour or two in getting to know her better.

Long story short, yadda yadda, we went on a date a few days later. It was a short, informational type date. No real escalation at all, although there was a lot of natural nonverbal and non-touching build up of sexual tension. She was very religious.

Something that I love doing is the ambiguous almost-kiss. Where you bring a girl close, almost kiss her, and instead...touch your nose against hers. Smell her hair. Kiss her neck. That sort of thing.

I did the nose brushing almost kiss with her at the end of the first date, then sent her on her way.

We accidentally met up again the next day. She was with friends. She snuck away from them "to get some air", and we took a 40 minute walk together. The teasing was mutual this time. I was determined to break through her barrier (she was resisting kissing), and one up her. Lots of nuzzling, neck kissing, and so on. Eventually, I just grabbed her, pulled her body up against me, and kissed her hard...for about half a second...then kissed her very lightly, and pulled my lips away so that they weren't quite touching.

She took the bait and tried to kiss me back. Every time she tried to close the distance, I would pull back ever so slightly, then give her a little less ground than she was trying to gain. Just before the kiss, she had been telling me that she needed to get back to her friends, so after a minute or so of teasing give and take, two steps forward and one step back, I deescalated, gave her a slight spanking, and told her that her friends were probably waiting for her.

On the way back, she stopped in her tracks and said,
"I...Can't even. You...I just can't even right now. I just can't. I...You...Wow." (that felt pretty good)
"I told you I'm evil. I had to outdo you, you know."

She actually started setting up chase frames herself before too long. Talking about how I would have to look out for her because she loved scruffy men, I wasn't safe, etc. Combine that with not quite giving her what she wanted...yeah, she's going to love me.


Another girl, well, it was a weird case. I initially asked her if she was single, and she said it was complicated. I amended my question to, "Would you like to get hot chocolate with me?"

She said yes. Yadda yadda. We met up a couple of days later. She told me that she was still in a relationship for two weeks, but didn't want to turn me down because she would be single soon due to her man moving away for grad school...but that she couldn't really date date right now. So, we kept it informational.

My God, what is with women who are in relationships but not willing to stray from them (ostensibly?) saying yes to going on dates with me? Admittedly, this time she straight up said she was in a complicated situation before going out with me...so that's on me.

Finally, I met up with the ballet instructor again and went rock climbing...lots of physical interaction. We met a mutual acquaintance whilst out and about. Escalated quite a bit. This date with her was actually right before my date with the first young woman I mentioned here, so I cut it short...but she's still very hot for me. She initiated most of it after some delay.

Overall, I feel like the ball is rolling again. In the past, I would have gotten lazy and stopped filling my pipeline at a time like this, but I'm not quite that foolish anymore. Every day is an opportunity to meet new women to bring into my life and find a place for. And I seize opportunities.

 

[Teparus]

Without going over recent escapades, I just want to post here that I totally fucked up.

There was a really fucking cute girl eyeing me at the coffee shop. I was in line behind her. She had a Japanese name and accent at the checkout counter. Ie, she's a legit Japanese foreigner visiting America. This time of year, it's either for school or a straight up vacation.

I speak Japanese. Ish. Enough for introductions and mild flirtation. And I did not do shit. I was on the cusp and then backed down.

I am punishing myself by posting this publicly. She was definitely digging me, and I was definitely digging her, and I passed that up. Ugh. How dare I?! Now we both go home disappointed. For shame, Haraklus, for shame.

 

[Teparus]

Well, it's been an interesting few days.

Chase once wrote that he has a tedency not to spend a lot of time with women he doesn't consider girlfriend quality. He might bring them home and sleep with them, but he doesn't generally set up a friend with benefits situation because it takes up time and teaches him to be lazy. It's a sentiment I totally get, as my game suffered badly with my last FWB. It both prevents you from refining yourself and spending time looking for someone who's a better fit.

So, I've been ditching things left and right. Ballet instructor? Gone. Ridiculously good first kiss girl? Gone. "I'm in a relationship now but won't be in two weeks" girl? Gone. I've amicably ended things with them before actual consummation of sex. Dear me, I'll never get good at this pace.

I'm really focusing on doing what makes me happy, which seems to me to also produce the best results. This seems to be a source of true outcome independence for me. Instead of feeling pressured to "improve my skills" by driving every interaction to the hilt even if I'm not enjoying it, I ask myself if I really want to. It's been...awesome.

Now, to nuts and bolts. There were a couple of non-starter approaches. Let me see...A really cute girl sat next to me on public transit, I struck up a conversation with her, after we got off the bus I asked her to join me for coffee; she said she was busy, but that she would be at a nearby park later and I'd be welcome to join her there in a couple of hours. I agreed.

And then forgot which park it was. Well, shit. I found other things to do with myself. I'm not sure when exactly it was, but there was also a younger girl who I was haggling some rock climbing with, but the logistics weren't quite there, so I pulled out.

Most recently, and excitingly...I've met an absolutely gorgeous woman with an engineering PhD from a top university, one which I actually debated entering for a program vaguely related to hers'.

I met her at a bar during a game night, we sort of got roped into a game together. Well... If I'm being honest, I jetted from the group I was in to join her's when I saw her there. But it looked like a coincidence. We played together, I deep dived her a bit, she counter dove me...there was actually a very loud, cheerful older gentleman at our table who really drove home her deep diving. She'd ask, I'd playfully dodge, and he'd cheerfully but bullheadedly wring real answers out of me. It was a pretty fun dynamic.

We very lightly coincidentally touched throughout the interaction. Mostly, I found excuses to brush against her, take up more space, and so on. If I needed to hand something to her, instead of placing it in front of her, I'd hold it palm up so that she had to touch me to get it, etc. A few times I playfully nudged her. She was just a liiitle bit shy. i liked it.

She had a very fascinating demeanor. She was a 1st generation native born American immigrant parents of SE Asian origin. Raised traditionally, but very clearly wanted something a bit more exciting. Perfect for me and vice versa. Coming from an engineering background, and what I can only assume is a fairly traditional Asian household, she was also not used to bold men. So, when I was about to depart...

Me: "Hey, I'm about to go...it was really nice meeting you...and I think you're ridiculously fucking beautiful, and want to get a drink with you."
Her, blushing and eyes shooting to the floor: "Give me your number!"
Me: "Sure."
Her, pulling out her phone with her eyes still facing down, then glancing over at me once: "That was a really good compliment...I don't know if it was the drink talking, but..."
Me: "I had one drink, and to speak with candor...I'm kind of an alcoholic. I didn't even feel it."
Her eyes went back to the ground, and she started texting someone on her phone.

(I can only imagine: "OMG HOT GUY JUST TOLD ME IM BEAUTIFUL PREP THE WEDDING DRESS" etc etc)

Memory a tiny bit fuzzy from there, but I also told everyone else I met that it was great to meet them, and then took off, stopping to say goodbye to a good friend along the way.

I texted her about 3 minutes after leaving to figure out scheduling. By the time I went to bed we'd figured out a time and place tomorrow evening.

I'm actually pretty excited. When a girl apologizes for writing a slightly long text (which she did), and is afraid to make firm suggestions, then you know she is worried about what you think of her.

Plus, she mentioned wanting to go somewhere that was fairly budget friendly (despite having a PhD level engineering salary) and with a good area to walk around it. Ie, she's active AND frugal, two traits I relate to and dig.

Meeting women like this is basically why I started working on improving my dating and seduction skills. Flooring them with bold statements within an hour of meeting them is awesome. Being the simultaneously most confident and vulnerable guy they've met is icing on the cake.

 

[Teparus]

That went smashingly well. It was actually an awkward start, I got food poisoning the day of our arranged meet up, called it off, vomited and felt better within an hour, put the date back on...and she bought my drink.

In the interest of brevity and not revealing too much, after her being very standoffish on the first date, she warmed up pretty quickly when I threw out a bit of a last ditch expression of interest at the end. Three weeks later, and we've been seeing a lot of each other. I'm pretty picky about who I spend my time with, but she's definitely been a worthwhile investment of it.

For the first two weeks or so, I wasn't really interested in anyone else, and so didn't approach/ask any other women. I followed up a bit with a couple of earlier prospects, but none of them panned out sexually. Funny thing is, I actually met three really cool, interesting women worth adding to my life (albeit all in very different ways) within the span of about two weeks -- more than I'd felt like adding to my life over the past 6 months.

Yesterday I did my first approach since getting together with the girl I wrote about last time -- a cute girl at a restaurant on the other side of town that I stopped into. The synopsis: She gave me flirty eyes and a free cookie and was quite conversational. When I told her I thought she was cute and asked if she was single, she seemed a little bit floored, then flattered, then stammered out that she had a boyfriend, but followed up with, "I'm here all the time, though...if you ever want to come by and chat."

Haha...Sure. I'll be right on that. (No, I won't)
My impression is she either wants an orbiter, a boyfriend candidate backup, or wants a less direct buildup to some extracurricular activities...either way, it's not something worth investing my time in when there are less complicated situations to deal with. It did start to get the ball rolling in the right direction again, though. Expect to hear more from me in the coming weeks.

 

[Teparus]

Put in a fairly bad approach that was not at all mindful of sprezzatura, nor did it have good commitment at all. It was weak sauce, but I'm glad I took some action.

Basically, I bought coffee this morning, and I thought the barista was really damned cute. And she gave me flirty eyes and a submissive smile.

I sat down, finished my coffee, and when my alarm telling me I needed to get back to being productive went off, I walked up the counter and said 'Hey'. I actually started kind of strong, the energy/vibe was solid.

I then told her that I thought she was really cute, and I'd like to grab a drink with her some time. She seemed a bit taken aback and not as flattered as women usually are...I think coming up to talk to her, just to say that, after I had already been in a conversation with her was pretty weak and came across as desperate and disjointed.

Her: "I'm not allowed to give my number out at work..." and kind of trailed off.
Me: "And if I were to give you my number?"
Her, perking up a bit but still having a reserved demeanor: "That could work."
Me: "Cool. Give me something to write with."

She took out a cookie wrapper and a marker. I wrote down my number and my name and handed it to her...and then just walked away. Ugh.

The real problem was the complete lack of rapport, I think. The initial attraction was there, but my follow through and commitment to the interaction were weak. She had absolutely no idea who I was or what I was like except that I read nutritional labels and I ask girls out within minutes of meeting them.

It's been a couple of days and I haven't heard from her, which is about what I expected. I've been less social recently, and I had a month break in meeting new women, so...gotta get it going again.

I'm definitely liking the feedback, though. It's a reminder that I'm letting myself stagnate and not being as dynamic as I have been, let alone as dynamic as I could be. Back on the saddle.

 

[Teparus]

Last weekend I had a date with a girl from an earlier FR. She resurfaced herself, we got together, brought her back to my place, she...had hairy, hairy nipples. They were shaved but oh god. Hahaha!

Well, that was an experience I won't be repeating.

Ugh, slow week -- I say I'm back in the saddle, but I haven't really been putting in the effort. It's a feeling like...

There's a salient 'I could totally do this right now...maybe I will...nah opportunity just slid by, fuck it...' thing going on.

I'm not a huge fan of it. Usually this is what it feels like when I'm on the cusp of a significant breakthrough, though.

Long term, my principal goal pickup wise is to have two simultaneous LTRs with women I find very attractive who are also digging one another. A literal monage a trois. I've rarely had trouble getting 'a girlfriend' and the occasional random hookup or fuckbuddy, but I always used to have a bit of a block about going out and meeting new women when I was still with another one. I'm working on that now. Things are still steady with this girl, and I've tactfully expressed to her that I am pursuing other women, and she seems mostly cool with it. Like it isn't the ideal situation for her, but she can definitely deal with it.

Gotta get out and beat the streets (well, night venues) again.

 

[Teparus]

Well, it's been awhile. I've been pretty preoccupied with the months and months of good sex and good times with one of the last women I wrote about. I also finally had sex with my childhood friend teaching English overseas -- that girl is probably one of the most attractive women I've met, whole package considered. She's really blossomed in the 2-3 years since I've seen her, too.

I left my former object of affection about a month ago, though, as we were getting too invested in each other and I, personally, was getting complacent. I'm looking for something way better than "good", so here I go.

In that time I've made passes at 2 women, one of which was fairly successful -- we went out to dinner together, but I had to split early and so nothing physical came of it. She lives quite a ways off, where I was visiting, but she'll be visiting my city in about a month, so I may see her again then.

I'm back on the horse, so to speak, and am looking to get meeting girls again. I've decided that the last couple of times I tried direct cold approach, it wasn't really successful and was just too hard to get into. I used to beat myself up about not being able to do a direct cold approach all the time, but I've realized that it wasn't terribly productive. However, I never had a particularly hard time "talking to strangers" / striking up situational conversation. For some reason, I decided this "didn't count". As such, I'm going give indirect a shot via staying out and about til about 8 at night after work every day and get used to striking up conversations again and working to close them.

My standards are tightening these days, so screening is pretty important to me. Basically my goal is to get used to starting conversations, learning about the women I'm speaking to, moving them / getting them investing, and then screening for the close. My criteria are principally good looks and fitness, education, a moderately soft/feminine personality, godlessness, and a general lack of craziness.

In general, I plan on spending more time experimenting this time around. I'm going to try different strategies for a week or two at a time and see what works, principally as it relates to results. So, this marks the beginning of two weeks of experimentation with situational openers and hard screening in the early evening in venues like bookstores and coffee shops.

Let the game begin. I plan on regularly checking in here. I've decided to take a much more experimental

 

[Teparus]

"Ah, just checkin' yourself out, huh?"
She looked really sheepish and embarrassed, so I said to her,
"No worries, I do the same thing. Beautiful sight to be behold, right? So why not?"

This was during my post divorce "not gonna touch a woman for awhile" phase. Damn my awful timing. Because this girl was absurdly beautiful. Not even my type, but the sheer force of her beauty blew me away. I actually started sweating even as I was calm and cool on the exterior.

Anyway, the next time we met, she started talking about how her history class was really boring...I interrupted her and asked,
"...Are you really going to complain to me about how boring your class is right now?"
Which got her all apologetic.

Eventually, I wandered by her with a friend. He thought she was really hot and turned to catch a view of her from behind as we walked past. Apparently she did the same thing to catch a view of me.

The next time I saw her, I was with another very beautiful woman and didn't say a thing. Hadn't seen her since. It REALLY bothered me that I hadn't asked this girl out. It was a straight up choke with someone I felt instantly attracted to. I found myself occasionally asking "What if?". Finally, if nothing else, this will resolve all of that. I ran into her again today and actually asked her out.

"Hey...I should have asked this awhile ago, but would you like to get a drink some time?" (I should have left out the "should have asked" bit, but it just kind of happened on its own...eek.)
She started to say "Why?" it sounded like, but then had a look of realization cross her face. She then smiled and said,
"Sure!" with a good degree of enthusiasm.
"Cool. I'm pretty busy tonight, but...tomorrow or Thursday would work."
"Yeah, those would work for me, too, then."
"Tomorrow, then."
We then chitchatted a bit -- I don't remember all of the exact words, but she mentioned that she was looking for a summer job to pay for fun things, I then asked if she liked to dance, she said she did, we talked a bit about the different dance styles we were into. There actually wasn't a ton of overlap. I asked her if she'd done any swing and if she thought it was interesting. She said she hadn't, but that it did look like fun.

I then qualified her, I suppose, by telling her that I liked it when I met people I could invite to swing.

A minute ago I texted her and suggested we meet tomorrow at 7. Her response:
"Sounds lovely. See you then!"

Basically, I'm getting the feeling that she's interested, but no longer 'head turningly' interested the way she was before. Meanwhile, my hand actually shook slightly as I handed her my phone.

I'm super optimistic about tomorrow, but I'm increasingly zen about it. I don't like being more into people than they are into me, which is what this feels like at this point. I need to get out and meet other absurdly beautiful women to maintain an abundant perspective.

Funny story, this girl ended up becoming a pornstar and all of this happened during her innocence-being-lost phase.