Hard nut to crack

[Whizzy]

Hey everyone,

Lately my success has gone through the rough thanks to help from this site and some experimenting of my own. The other day I met this one girl that was really cool at the time and then shut off after meeting a few times. She is apparently ridiculously picky (her guy has to be perfect in her eyes etcetc) and I am pretty sure would ignore any text I sent. Apparently I broke every rule she has for a guy and went from begging to talking to me straight into auto-rejection. Normally I would just drop her immediately, but I am looking at it as an experiment of sorts now since I think a lot of situations like this can be salvaged if approached properly. One thing I thought about doing was surprising her at work with flowers and a card but that would be way to much like chasing I feel. Anyone have any ideas/thoughts/experience getting out of this problem?

 

[Good Vibes]

These type of women are not as hard to crack as you might think if you understand frame control. The main problem you have is accepting her as a hard nut to crack bassed on what she has told you. That is her frame you have accepted, she wants to find the perfect boyfriend, if you try to live up to that you will lose 99% of the time because she is describing her fantasy man. You need to out frame her by becoming her lover first and then you get to decide if you want to keep her not the other way around.

Do not buy her flowers unless you want to wait until she's been with other men first and hope that she finally settles with you as the nice guy she finally realises that she needs but that = pain my friend, don't go there. Move on. If you need an "experiment of sorts" as you put it ask her if she has a hot looking friend who has lower standards than her. That will make her think about you differently, guaranteed! and maybe even chase you.

 

[Whizzy]

Goodvibes are you recommending to move and then come back essentially?

 

[Light]

You do not want to compete for the boyfriend role. You just want to settle for the secret lover role.

 

[Whizzy]

I understand that, since I am rarely in the area that is what I was aiming for originally. However finding a way past her barrier is stumping me since most things on here seem to say drop it and find a new girl. If I can find my way to seeing her a second time I can easily make her my lover, only problem is getting her to that point

 

[trashKENNUT]

I understand that, since I am rarely in the area that is what I was aiming for originally. However finding a way past her barrier is stumping me since most things on here seem to say drop it and find a new girl. If I can find my way to seeing her a second time I can easily make her my lover, only problem is getting her to that point

I see her playing a game, or maybe negative. Just keep things general and contact her over a sustainable amount of time. She's the kind of girl i feel needs you to play the chasing game. So do that, but do it in a way where you sustain contact over long periods of time without much effort and much affection. More like a friends talk but not too overboard.

Zac

 

[Whizzy]

I see her playing a game, or maybe negative. Just keep things general and contact her over a sustainable amount of time. She's the kind of girl i feel needs you to play the chasing game. So do that, but do it in a way where you sustain contact over long periods of time without much effort and much affection. More like a friends talk but not too overboard.

How long do you consider a substantial amount of time? When I visit my parents once a month I normally visit the bar and it seems like she is always working there, so just when i'm nearby once a month or wait even longer?

 

[Good Vibes]

Goodvibes are you recommending to move and then come back essentially?

I'm saying that she sees you as someone who is chasing her. You need to make her realize that you are a guy that she has to try to impress not the other way around. It seems the situation you find yourself with her ATM is almost unsalvageable, she needs a challenge from you and the best way to do that is to make her say to herself "hey why are you interested in other girls, what about me".

 

[trashKENNUT]

How long do you consider a substantial amount of time? When I visit my parents once a month I normally visit the bar and it seems like she is always working there, so just when i'm nearby once a month or wait even longer?

If you visit your parents and you happen to be nearby, just visit her then. I am sure she won't assume anything else, and if she does assume, it's just a shit test. Afterall it's like once a month, and you experimenting on getting this girl.

Zac