Harsh but comforting truth I have learned about race + location over the years.

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I know in the past that we have had a lot of race thread but this one contains a lot of useful information. Like most other race threads it deals with being a minority and trying to get white girls and it will be my last thread on race, ever.

I urge the mods not to delete or lock this thread because it does contain information which lots of people will find useful overtime.

A common belief is that white guys have an advantage while minorities have a disadvantage, this is NOT true at all. What is true is that in SOME cities, there is that one race group (usually a minority group) which is seen as a poor dating option. As long as you are not a part of that one particular group, you don't have to worry about your race holding you back but when you are a part of that group your race will play a major role in the kind of women you get. Usually, men who are a part of that group that is seen as a poor dating option will have to lower their standards and settle for less, that is just how it is. Even if the guy is very good looking, he will have to settle for girls below his league or not even have success at all.

The tricky part about this whole situation which I strongly believe deserves more discussion is finding what cities certain races of men won't be well received in but fortunately for me (and most asian guys out there) I have learned what cities I would not be able to do well in as a korean american male.

Being an asian american (korean) male with above average looks who loves white women, I would never go to Toronto, Vancouver, or anywhere in the Bay Area because I know that there I am in that group of men. A lot of the very attractive white women in these cities will not date an asian (or indian) guy because their status will take too big of a hit, there is just too much stigma against dating an asian or indian. But on the contrary, a black guy with decent looks and tight game can easily do well with women in those places, just as well as his white counterpart. So you see, it isn't being a minority that is stopping a guy from doing well, it is being part of a minority group that isn't well liked in a given area that is.

Think of it this way, an asian guy that has good looks will get average looking white girls in Toronto while in a city like say Seattle or San Diego, that same Asian guy will be able to date white girls that are attractive. Most of it has to do with the fact that Toronto has a lot of asians (and indians) and men of that culture have portrayed negative stereotypes of themselves that white women living in that city see daily so it becomes an uphill battle even for guys that don't display that stereotype. Sadly that is just how life is and most of my friends of a minority background have talked about how they pay the price for what other people of their race do.

In case you didn't get my message: Being an asian (or indian) who wants to date attractive white women in areas like the Bay Area, Vancouver, and Toronto is a major handicap (even more so than being short or poor and I wish I was joking) even if you follow a lot of what is taught on this site because the kind of women you are pursuing have already counted you out before you even approach them. In case you need any proof, just go to any of these cities and despite the large asian population you won't see many asian men with white women.

But here is the comforting truth.

In most places outside of the Bay Area, Vancouver, and Toronto you will not struggle because you happen to be asian. I struggled in Louisiana more so because the culture there was conservative, the kind of lifestyle GC promotes was looked down upon, and people were just very cliquish in general, not because I was asian. In hindsight, had I invested enough time in being a part of a good social circle long enough then I don't doubt that I would have secured an LTR with a good looking woman of my preference. The problem is that given the conservative culture there, sleeping around is looked down upon even more severely than it would be in other places.

The comforting truth is that I know as an asian male, in most places that don't have targeted prejudice against my background (bay area, Toronto, and Vancouver) or don't have a highly conservative culture, I can do quite well for myself and I have done so recently. I also know that because of my above average looks and the material I have learned from reading GC over the past years I can do better than most guys. Now if I was in say Toronto or Vancouver then my options would be limited but I am not there so I don't see it as me having a more difficult time than my white friends, as a matter of fact because I look different and am not the stereotypical asian male I have a unique advantage.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Harsh but comforting truth I have learned about race + location over the yea

Good thread and a trend I noticed in a lot of those cities is that where asians struggle, indians also tend to struggle for some reason (Toronto, Vancouver, and Bay Area). Maybe its because both groups have that nerdy and misogynist stereotype going for them.

That said, if there are some palces I would like to add to that list for anyone that looks remotely south asian it would have to be London. I have heard stories of couples where the guy is south asian and woman is white and how much racism they have faced for it in many parts of the city. Having visited I did see quite a few black men with white women but as for south asians with white women? Almost non-existent despite the large population of them there. That and some of the gangs have a bad reputation for luring girls into some shady activities.

The good news in all of this is most of those places (except for maybe Vancouver) should be avoided anyways:

- very high cost of living
- not that many attractive women
- terrible dating culture
- cold and unresponsive people
- some of the most elitist societies

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Harsh but comforting truth I have learned about race + location over the yea

That's the sad thing about race IMO. Women by nature whether they are white or any race are attracted to exotic looking men because they are different and as people we get bored of the same old routine so something new is amazing. The problem comes in with the fact that social barriers are set which make it very difficult for guys who may have a certain look to get the highest quality women in that area even if they have tight fundamentals, good looks, and money. The problem becomes that once women (in this case mostly white women) go for the guy that is a part of that forbidden race they risk their status, social circle, and are in danger of being almost exiled from a lot of the high status groups in that area which is just too big of a risk to take.

I do believe that a man should do everything in his power to make the most of what he has because that will expand his options but as a korean american guy with a thing for white girls even I know to steer clear of the Bay Area or a city like Vancouver. The social barriers in those places are specifically set up not only to stop me from getting the kind of girls I like but also to make it so girls of my own background feel embarrassed to date within their own race.

 

[Franco]

Re: Harsh but comforting truth I have learned about race + location over the yea

FF,

That's the sad thing about race IMO. Women by nature whether they are white or any race are attracted to exotic looking men because they are different and as people we get bored of the same old routine so something new is amazing. The problem comes in with the fact that social barriers are set which make it very difficult for guys who may have a certain look to get the highest quality women in that area even if they have tight fundamentals, good looks, and money. The problem becomes that once women (in this case mostly white women) go for the guy that is a part of that forbidden race they risk their status, social circle, and are in danger of being almost exiled from a lot of the high status groups in that area which is just too big of a risk to take.

I think this is a fair enough assessment to make about the situation. I do believe there are a number of places out there that white women don't need to worry about this at all (as you've noticed), but it very well may be the case in other locations. The thing is to understand what you mentioned above: it's not that these women don't find you attractive or alluring, but they're worried about what will happen to them socially should they choose to indulge in their desires. Once you know this, you can learn to work around the boundaries and operate in between the cracks (and remain discreet about your meetings), which will ultimately improve your game with not just white women but all women in general!

- Franco

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Harsh but comforting truth I have learned about race + location over the yea

FF,

I think this is a fair enough assessment to make about the situation. I do believe there are a number of places out there that white women don't need to worry about this at all (as you've noticed), but it very well may be the case in other locations. The thing is to understand what you mentioned above: it's not that these women don't find you attractive or alluring, but they're worried about what will happen to them socially should they choose to indulge in their desires. Once you know this, you can learn to work around the boundaries and operate in between the cracks (and remain discreet about your meetings), which will ultimately improve your game with not just white women but all women in general!

- Franco

Well Franco, that's the thing, in some places it just isn't a possibility to be a certain race and get most of the quality women (highly attractive) in the area. The social stigma is that powerful and the penalty on women is just that bad.

I'll share a story about a friend of mines and his girlfriend who I talked to over a week ago. My friend is an indian guy with good looks, a nice career, and he is completely westernized while his girlfriend is a gorgeous young blonde woman who somewhat resembles Hayden Panetierre (facially at least). Due to being born and raised in Vancouver before finally moving to Seattle, my friend had some limiting beliefs about his race which over the years went away and that is how he says he finally hooked up with his girlfriend.

Both of the couple are in their mid 20s and they were talking about the time they went to Vancouver to visit his family. The experience they shared would shock you given a city like Vancouver and how liberal it is supposed to be.

1. They were stared at a lot in public at cafes
2. They had strangers commenting on their relationships with things such as "you know you two are a very rare couple"
3. Guys would hit on the girl right in front of my friend and when she said she was with him they would comment on the two being a rare kind of couple

Having visited Vancouver many times I see tons of asian and these days even indian women with white husbands and boyfriends but rarely if ever the other way around (and I mean it). Even I was shocked to hear some of the issues they faced from the public and the amount of problems they endured which they would never endure in a city like Seattle, New York, LA, or San Diego.

The way the society in Vancouver is set up, the women there hate the idea of getting into a LTR with an asian or indian yet the white women there will easily give it up for a black guy. Just the stigma that exists against asian men likely due to the bad reputation a lot of the immigrants there might have had makes dating out almost impossible especially if you go for hot girls and plenty of attractive women of your race want to be with a white guy.

It makes it almost pointless to be in a city like that unless you already have a girlfriend with you because most women will not look beyond your ethnic background and will be much much more critical of you.

Just the way life is, location matters a lot more than people give it credit for. Its not about small town vs big city but more like right city vs wrong city for a particular guy. That said, places like Vancouver, Toronto, and the Bay Area (all of which harbor a lot of hatred towards asian men of any kind) are not that common and the women there (with the exception of Vancouver) are nothing to brag about anyways. Its a point I feel like I had to throw out there.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Harsh but comforting truth I have learned about race + location over the yea

Being a white guy I don't often have to worry about this kind of stuff but this thread is spot on. I was recently PMing a member here who told me about his stay in Malmo, Sweden where he saw a lot of segregation between native Swedes and Middle Eastern immigrants there. Having studied a bit of international politics and worked abroad for a few months what has happened is that the immigration in Europe has been from the middle east and north africa. A lot of the immigrants that have come are lower class or refugees who are completely unaware of the European culture and being that they are usually from the lower class of their home countries, many resort to criminal activities and things such as harassing or staring at women that it ruins the reputation of anyone that has that look.

Even if the immigrants in a given area are good people, the men of that background lose their appeal or exoticness. Put a guy like Mohinder from Heroes in a place like Vancouver and he is just another Indian guy to a lot of the women there because there are so many Indians and he is another face in the crowd. Now take that same guy and put him in a place like Dallas and I bet he gets good results all across the board.

You have to avoid places where there are a lot of people of your background because then segregation would have happened overtime, that is my personal assumption of this. Now in terms of Europe, it would seem like anyone that looks remotely middle eastern is in for a tough time.