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Has anyone tried intentional celibacy to revover from a breakup and losing a girl instead of GFTOW

empath

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 16, 2024
Messages
772
I am asking cause from last 2 year I don’t have any other life goal apart from picking up girl and whenever I have oneitis I spiral.

I am coasting through my job mostly.

This oneitis is causing me trouble, doesn’t affect my pick-up or pleasure seeking but affects my work-life.

I am thinking of intentional celibacy instead of GFTOW cause of my non-standard need of just a hot women.

cause I banger hotter women than her objectively but still she is there on my mind.

My thought process is taking a break from girls I might find passion in something beyond girls and when I try to enter a LTR next time, I will he more cool headed and can bear silence etc longer.
 

Ratata

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 14, 2024
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35
I have done this, for years, and I cannot recommend it.

After my last LTR I decided to just "eat cake" and "let the chips fall where they may" without consciously seeking out women. I thought this was a good idea, because - after all - my number was already quite high, while I was really seeking a much deeper connection. So, my thinking was that if I just stopped seeking, she'd float to me one day like a piece of wood at the beach. Of course, that never happened... So here I am lol!

What I did was to delve more into work, in order to forget, which isn't good. Since my goal was just to be comfortable and eat cake and then coast all other places in life, I got fat. And since I was getting older I wasn't getting any more handsome either. So now I got less free attention from girls than ever... Which also wasn't positive. At some point, I had enough, and decided to get back on the horse again.

The first thing I changed was to start dieting and working out. I fixed my diet as much as I could (there are still some things I can't live without lol), and then I went hard-core to the gym. I also started doing much more cardio. Suddenly, I'd got some female attention for free again. Second is I took Brent Smith's philosophy more seriously, and started socializing in a way more active way than before, while eschewing the most egregious PU tricks. Perhaps also because I have internalized a lot of that stuff anyway idk, but at least I like the idea of being subtle lol.

I'd already had some success with Brent Smith's philosophy before this dumb experiment, so I decided that's the way to do it. It's kind of "anti PU" but not really. Hard to explain, you just gotta see it as an alternative, I guess. You're keeping it very social, but actually kind of passive in terms of pickup, so you more easily spot those women who are truly worth investing in for the longer term, instead of being this desperate dancing monkey. I mean, you can ofc also use it for hookups, no problem, if you know other fundamentals, but that just isn't my goal these days.

OTOH I've started practicing hardcore NOFAP, to the point of avoiding even dirty thoughts. And porn is of course a huge no-no, but mostly for scientific reasons, and how it damages your brain's reward systems. This actually seems to help. Like, I tried it before, and I didn't see a result from it, but these days I do it a bit differently. You have to be in close proximity to hot girls very often to really see the result. And when you get it, it's the closest thing to magic you'll ever experience as a man, I'm fairly sure. Like, I've had women try to isolate me, kiss me out of the blue, stuff like that, just by casually interacting with them. Also, when you do "feel" some mutual attraction, that's when you let it all go, and let all those dirty thoughts come to you, and visualize her naked, until you just can't keep your hands off her. You will know if she reciprocates anyway, because she'll be compliant and want to be alone with you. (If she doesn't then ofc put your balls in some ice water or something lol.)

I've also had incidents where just staying in proximity to certain women, well... There's no good way of saying it, but it gave me a freaking uncontrollable hardon. And in quite public and awkward situations too! But hormones don't lie, and neither does mirror neurons. That's your sign that you gotta isolate and escalate. Now, I usually frequent quite conservative circles these days, so even public affection is very uncommon, and then only between known couples. But saying that, you notice really fast if a woman wants you to join her outside, say for some "fresh air". I mean, the sweetest thing I've ever heard a woman say to me, is this cute French girl whispering "Je suis chaude", later explaining to me that it just meant that she felt hot... (It doesn't, it means that you're horny lol! Freudian slip from her lolol.)

So yeah, I can highly recommend refraining from releasing your sexual power until you're actually in proximity of women, and then turning it to 11. But otherwise, I think the idea of keeping away from women is pretty dumb in terms of finding The One, or just getting more hookups in general. You gotta keep meeting them (but it's better if you stop beating it).
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
6,114
I am asking cause from last 2 year I don’t have any other life goal apart from picking up girl and whenever I have oneitis I spiral.

this is very unusual unless by choice, having a onitis in my experience, will cause you to level up and improve finances, fashion, lifestyle... Indirectly having onitis will make you level up in life...

I am coasting through my job mostly.

This oneitis is causing me trouble, doesn’t affect my pick-up or pleasure seeking but affects my work-life.

Nah this is cope, your job sucks, pre onitis...

I am thinking of intentional celibacy instead of GFTOW cause of my non-standard need of just a hot women.
in your scenario won't work is cope, with some guys that are already good with women and go through a tough break up, taking a break of a week or 2 will work, or just not getting into another serious dating situation will help.... But depends on many factors, i think i took a week or 2 once... I heard some guys taking a month of, just to deal with emotion center and re focus on goals..... During no contact... But to be honest is personal choice, for example post my break up, i was banging girl and making me feel worst, and those girls will putting pressure for ltrs, this situation taking a break would have been better for me, and i did... Best way to get over a onitis is to get another onitis and seduce the next onitis...(if you are already good with women)..... The gftow is for afcs and reformed afc, that need to go out and get gftow, or guys that did the dumping (would not really be affected), or guys that are wired a bit different that don't really fall in love per se, kind of numb dudes... Like topcat and the likes...

cause I banger hotter women than her objectively but still she is there on my mind.
normal
My thought process is taking a break from girls I might find passion in something beyond girls and when I try to enter a LTR next time, I will he more cool headed and can bear silence etc longer.
you should be doing the above anyways... Most guys here have other hobbies and biz projects... specially the better guys... not having other hobbies and jobs outside of women will make you a bad seducer and extremely needy...
 

MrVariety

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 15, 2025
Messages
76
cause I banger hotter women than her objectively but still she is there on my mind.

Yeah. I never see resonated with the GFTOW meme. For me, (if the sex was great) I miss her just more whenever I have inevitable semi-intimate sex with another girl for the first time.

Celibacy is a wonderful thing. If you're genuinely celibate, women will be attracted to you like moth to a flame. They pop out of nowhere. Irony is, it doesn't matter, you're celibate. Celibacy isn't something anyone can choose at any time, it has to "come to you." You have to earn it, through practicing what Ratata discussed over long periods of time. Only after practicing nofap, cleasning your mind of sexual fantasy, and AIMING HIGHER THAN WOMEN, then you can really try to dedicate yourself to celibacy for a fixed duration of time. That period of time will be probably be a blazing furnace for self-growth.

But I don't think it will work for you. Because the highest thing in your life is getting laid. Your primary life goal is to pick up girls. Your celibacy will be fake. You're essentially saying "I won't pay attention to women, so I can be more successful with women." What will happen is you will have eyes at the back of your head constantly scanning if a woman shows interest in you, and at that moment you won't be celibate anymore. To full and through be celibate you need to reach a point where you're actually focused on other things - and you ACTUALLY care about these things more than women. (I know, sounds crazy, but pussy isn't actually the best thing, most meaningful thing in life)

If pick up is your entire identity, your whole emotional system be will very rocky - I haven't seen it work well with a few exception of coaches. I recommend for the time being to stop taking chunks out of your day to pick up girls, be in "day gaming" or "night gaming," and instead, like Ratata mentioned, try to integrate it into your daily life, as you learn to find other goals worth while and pursue them.

Mr Variety
 

Ratata

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 14, 2024
Messages
35
I googled him and found a singer. *shrug*

Care to elaborate what this means?


MV
It's not the singer. It's the lifestyle coach. He had a very interesting YouTube channel out some years ago (many years ago...). I mean, it's still there, but changed. He's been hiding or pruning videos recently, and experimented with pretty bad AI generated contents although they still communicate his core ideas. He also had an excellent podcast interviewing many famous PUAs, such as Zan Perrion, and many more. Sadly his older stuff is kind of hard to come by now, you have to use a lot of Google-fu to find it.
 
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