Have I Really Improved?

[Troy]

So I get a big success every now and then but I still feel the same as I was 3 years ago. Do you think I have really improved? If so what exactly have I improved on?

I currently still struggle with a depressing family. I think that's the major factor why I haven't really moved from my old self. I regularly get nightly depression . Sometimes I stay awake all night with my phone as I search online for a way to get financially free much faster and go live on my own, buy all the things I currently really need and want, but the biggest benefit isn't the money. It's the mental freedom I need away from my family who make me question

" Has any girl/anyone REALLY liked me? "

" Can I really be successful? And have what I want? "

I stay awake many nights with books upon books and my phone writing plans on how to get the money I need to take me into my own freedom called my place.

Girls chase friends? Have I really improved ? How can I keep away these bad feelings and know for sure I'm improving when I constantly have to go through scapegoating from my family?

Troy

 

[Bete Noire]

I know the feelin' and i may be wrong from the short lil' segment you wrote - but it looks like you are THINKING wayyy to much! Set little goals for yourself daily, sometimes allow yourself to feel bad but know that there is a steady road to auccess We as men sometimes think way to logically instead of enjoying the feeling of the moment. You will have bad days, but know they are countered by the good days ^^

Keep on truckin', hopefully some of those ideas stick

Rob

 

[Lotus]

Troy,

I'd say I have definitely noticed a change in your attitude. It used to be painful to read the negativity in your posts and now they are a lot more positive. Even this one you are expressing frustrating but it's hopeful as opposed to hopeless.

Sounds like you have been planning how to get out but aren't quite there yet, which is better then nothing.

My question is what's holding you back from moving out right now? Are you making progress on removing whatever obstacle that may be?

-Lotus

 

[Smith]

Hey troy,

I agree with lotus your attitude has definitely improved! You have to look at the bigger picture because we all succeed and fail everyday but we all like to focus on the failures and ignore the little successes that's building up everyday.

The danger of self help industry is that you read a lot of books and do a lot of planning but you never execute and commit yourself fully. You may temporary feel good because it seems like you're taking action. It's like people reading tons of GC articles but never actually apply them. So whatever plans u have to help u move out, make sure you execute them.

You said you want mental freedom from your family. But the way I see it, you can use your family's negativity to strengthen your ability to become more positive and more centered within yourself. You can choose how you respond to the situation, so don't sink back to negativity.

 

[sneaky_charm]

Hey Troy!

It's alright if you're making slow progress, and so am I. As long as you are making progress and trying to accelerate its rate constantly, I think you're fine.

That said, from personal experience, I feel that it is not very easy if you are from a broken home.

Let's be honest. Most PUAs are not what you'd call 'normal'. Most have had parental problems, and that is the reason why they embark on the journey of self-actualization in the first place. Because 'normal' people, they don't know shit about psychology. They never ask themselves why they do what they do. And, they certain don't strive to become better with every passing day. It is what Chase says, that most really successful people have issues.

I may be wrong here, so ignore anything that does not apply to your life, but if you are from a broken home, look inside yourself. Your biggest challenge in life, I suppose, is freeing yourself from the grip of your parents from within. Do you hate a particular sports? If you do, do you really hate it, or do you do that because your father or mother hates the same? Do you have strong opinions about certain things? If so, are those opinions your own or borrowed from a family member?

The thing is, your parents influence who you are in nearly every way imaginable, even if you actually hate them. I think it was Richard who said it, that every time you find yourself having a reaction to something, ask yourself from where it comes!

It is when you become free from the grip of your family that you will experience freedom. Changing place will help, but not as much as you think. You will be free only when you are able to consciously eliminate everything you hate about your family life from within.

Also, know that those who don't have family issues can never understand where you and me fall. Even if you tell a million times, they will not understand the depth of your woes.

I suppose some part of you will always wish that your family was 'normal', that is, unless you are able to become the most enlightened monk on the planet.

Believe me when I say this, if you have a broken home, pretty much every answer involves killing some part of you that is gripped by your family. And I don't mean minor part, I mean MAJOR.

Also, I wonder if it is even possible to go fast. In most cases, you will get one answer in one moment, then months later another answer will reveal to you. I don't know if there is any conscious way of speeding up the process. It is like you get your answers when you are ready for them.

Some things said above may seem like new-age mumbo jumbo, but please try to read without judgment.