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"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

Bboy100

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Nowadays, I try to be pretty genuine with women. I don't really like to deal with "tests" unless its very obvious that she's doing it to flirt as opposed to screen me out. So when a girl asks me questions meant to qualify me, I just answer them pretty directly. One such question is "have you ever had a girlfriend?". Typically, it's girls who are already into me who ask me this. I could come up with a flirty response such as " Woah...you're already scoping me out for a relationship? Jeez, I just met you, this is a little too fast for me missy!" or "yeah, in fact, I have three of them right now.". Instead, my rely these days is simply "no".

I know this answer (no) is not very desirable. If anything, it creates negative preselection (although also a little bit of intrigue...cause like I said, this is usually asked by girls who are already into me, ergo in their minds, I don't fit the profile of someone who's never had a GF) but to be honest, at this point, I'm completely comfortable with the fact that I've never had one before. And I feel like any girl who wants to be with me should be as well. So I'm upfront about it. Most girls respond with a certain level of disbelief like "No way!" or "Now that, I don't believe!".

Would you guys recommend that I keep the same attitude? Or is this likely to lose me a LOT of girls?
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Paulie Walnuts

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
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183
I have this issue too sometimes, though it's more a question of how short my relationships have been. You and I don't fit the category of: "have never had a girlfriend", or can't keep a relationship longer than 4 months.

I never know what to say either, usually I just say something like: "Haven't met the right one yet", but I'm sure this is probably slotting me in a Provider frame and probably is a factor in why I get boyfriend zoned so much.
 

Bboy100

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 2, 2015
Messages
1,107
I never know what to say either, usually I just say something like: "Haven't met the right one yet", but I'm sure this is probably slotting me in a Provider frame and probably is a factor in why I get boyfriend zoned so much.
Dealing with it is easy. Just flirt. The examples in my OP are a great way to do it.

If she asks you about the length of your relationship, you can honestly just shrug and say "idk" with a slightly bored expression on your face or give her the skeptical look https://www.girlschase.com/content/skeptical-look then change the topic. Or just give her a ridiculous answer like "Oh, it was in middle school. It lasted from 3rd period to 5th period. They were the greatest two hours of my life!"

For me, this is more of a philosophical issue. Like...is it worth dealing with dumb, somewhat irrelevant qualifying questions like that, or should I just be upfront and intentionally let girls screen me out (because I feel like that would be a super shallow reason for a girl to not like me in the first place, ergo she might be a waste of my time).
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,091
You know in HS and College "having a girlfriend" seemed like a big deal. So much so when I did have a girl who wanted to see me regularly and have sex I married her.

I think if I was asked that question again, I would reply: "I have had some very special ladies in my life, that still mean a lot to me,but I knew that I had things to accomplish in my life that were going to take precedence over a long term relationship."
Be ready for the question to come : "Well what were those things?"
to which I reply "College, Career, and Personal Growth."
Then the perceptive woman will ask "How is that going?"
At that point you talk about your goals in life and how you have made progress towards them.
She is going to want to know how she fits in there, and if you want a casual relationship, you tell her "I want someone who understands I have my eye on the prize. Someone that I can share some downtime with, recharge and get back after it."
If she says "Oh, you want a booty call huh?" you reply:
"no I just want someone who will make the most of our limited time together. Brief but passionate. Exciting and adventurous."
 

Grand Pooba

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
1,458
HER: Have you ever had a girlfriend?
ME: Why, are you looking to apply for the position? ;)
<she laughs or says something. if she asks back...>
ME: I've had some women in my life, but honestly haven't met that special one just yet. Who knows...maybe it's you! <with a flirtatious sexy tone.>
 
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