Having a hard time dealing with "disruptive" guys (rant)

[Kezarin]

Hi all,

I enrolled in a University, and we have a group chat with about 500 people, although most people stay silent and it's mostly the same people talking and asking questions. From here, a group of 4 to 5 guys (all a handful of years younger than me) seem to have decided they can write whatever they want to whomever they want, chatting about trivial shit and generally not giving a fuck. The general reaction of the group chat is an occasional "please stop spamming this chat".

Now, I shared a message to this chat from another platform, about a person seemingly in need of help, being new to the city and running out of battery.
A couple minutes later that person admitted to trolling, so I spread the word on the group chat that it wasn't anything serious after all.

Then in response this guy writes something like "Bro you're a fucking clown, go to this and that branch where all the other failures are, I'm leaving the chat" , and to the last sentence I responded with "nice". Then the shitflinging started, he called me more names, I fired back, then his other friends started firing shots too.

Mind you, this is the official University chatroom, so I felt like I can't just ignore this shit since I also have a reputation however small (although I barely attend any lectures) so I thought I couldn't just ignore all the insults coming every which way.

I don't know why but this shit always gets to me. They started a beef for no damn reason and when I quip back, they try to bury me under insult after insult. What is this, a severe need for validation and fight for status in a fucking group chat?

Anyway, after a few messages that told us to stop, I said "you're right, this is the University server, I'm stopping now. Good night." and stopped writing. After that they each wrote some condescending and mocking shit and stopped writing as well.



So how should I have approached this? Dealing with this type of guys has always been the hardest for me.
With normal and friendly men I have no problem interacting, but these groups of guys who keep dogpiling on you and mocking you are the worst for me, because I never know if they're doing it in jest or with actual malice. I can't tell when I should start standing up for myself or when I should shrug it off.

And I end up thinking about all the factors around me and how I should respond. It's been this way since middle school and I don't understand why I'm getting attacked by these people for seemingly no reason.


Anyway, sorry for the rant. This shit just gets to me is all. I'd be happy to hear your thoughts on this.

Cheers,
Kezarin

 

[weekendwarrior]

Hi @Kezarin they were going to pile in with gang mentality, best thing to do is not get involved. They've dragged you in here, I'd have exited and made them look inept:

"Cool story bro, real mature. This isn't worth my time so I won't be responding further. Have fun being ghosted like with every chick you've ever talked to"

Then I'd leave. Alternatively

"I'd love to stay and talk but I've got a date with your mom"
If they say any more shit
"If you want my cum back you'll have to scrape it from your mom's teeth"

Probably more effort than it's worth but you'd get some thumby uppies in the chat and you've tooled them, you can call them a keyboard warrior but expect them to get aggressive if they know who you are though.

Warrior

 

[Skills]

this is helpful:

Guide to amoguing

Tips on how to deal with people you don'g agreeing and people hard to get along with.

www.theskillsmethod.com

same way you handle shit test from women:

How to deal with women tests aka shit tests! - The Skills Method

First, what is a shit test? A shit test is something that girls do (usually more so when you first meet them) to see whether you’re man enough for them. I mean … Continue Reading →

www.theskillsmethod.com

 

[Chase]

You need to learn how to comeback better.

Then in response this guy writes something like "Bro you're a fucking clown, go to this and that branch where all the other failures are, I'm leaving the chat" , and to the last sentence I responded with "nice". Then the shitflinging started, he called me more names

Right at this point you go, "Wait, I thought you were leaving this chat to go to the branch campus, or whatever you just said."

If he starts messaging more pissed off stuff, respond with a meme:

HIM: #%$@!

YOU: u rn:

HIM: #%$@! #%$@!

YOU:

HIM: #%$@! #%$@! #%$@!

YOU:

At that point you can just sign off; dude's been thoroughly clowned.

If you can't post memes, just give him some relaxation/sympathy advice:

"You sound stressed, buddy. You should get some stress balls. It's so peaceful when you squeeze them."

"Hey chief, when's the last time you turned the iPad off and went outside? It's really nice out there."

"Sounds like someone needs a hug."

After a couple of rounds of clowning him like that, there's nothing more to be said.

Just log off and your work is done. He can write a million more angry things on there, but anyone reading the chat sees he's been dunked on so hard he's just straight up impotent at this point.

Just remember: dudes doing this shit online would not ever do it to your face. They say it all on phones & computers because they don't have the balls to IRL. You don't even need to rag on them about that... just encourage them to go get some fresh air and let go of their stress. It will (actually) be good for them.

Chase

 

[Searcher]

You need to learn how to comeback better.



Right at this point you go, "Wait, I thought you were leaving this chat to go to the branch campus, or whatever you just said."

If he starts messaging more pissed off stuff, respond with a meme:

HIM: #%$@!

YOU: u rn:

HIM: #%$@! #%$@!

YOU:

HIM: #%$@! #%$@! #%$@!

YOU:

At that point you can just sign off; dude's been thoroughly clowned.

If you can't post memes, just give him some relaxation/sympathy advice:

"You sound stressed, buddy. You should get some stress balls. It's so peaceful when you squeeze them."

"Hey chief, when's the last time you turned the iPad off and went outside? It's really nice out there."

"Sounds like someone needs a hug."

After a couple of rounds of clowning him like that, there's nothing more to be said.

Just log off and your work is done. He can write a million more angry things on there, but anyone reading the chat sees he's been dunked on so hard he's just straight up impotent at this point.

Just remember: dudes doing this shit online would not ever do it to your face. They say it all on phones & computers because they don't have the balls to IRL. You don't even need to rag on them about that... just encourage them to go get some fresh air and let go of their stress. It will (actually) be good for them.

Chase

You can deliver comebacks like stand up comedians.

This is a damn important skill especially in social groups.
There is a company called UMP (on YouTube) that encourages AMOGing and even though their tactics are good, it makes me not to trust them as it's a toxic behavior.

Some techniques I picked up on used by some guys who clearly watched their videos are.

1) ask if a guy and girl are together then without interrupt the guy when he is speaking and say "OMG, he is lying, he likes you and you friendzoned him".


2) Omg he is so cute and nice. Come on give him a chance he looks really nice and friendly. He will buy you flowers everyday. Come on look at him. He could never harm you. He is nice give him a chance.
(My response :- He will be the one buying flowers)

3) Hit him from the back so that no one can see it , make him reactive.
(My response :- Don't hit me on the backback again)

4) Omg so desperate bro. Ok bro look I know you like the girl .. you are trying to get out of the friendzone , but bro I cannot do anything about that she friendzoned me.. you cannot insult ppl bcuz she is not attracted to you.. dont be a psychopath.. come on bro



Could you give responses to this especially if you are in a group set and a guy tries these moves? (Can't move the whole group).

 

[Chase]

@Sully,

For the first two, agree & amplify, then dismiss:

GUY: [interrupts you] OMG, he is lying, you friend zoned him but he really likes you.​

​

YOU: Wow, you figured it out. Head outside and three doors down to collect your prize.​

Or:

GUY: Omg he is so cute and nice. Come on give him a chance he looks really nice and friendly. He will buy you flowers everyday. Come on look at him. He could never harm you. He is nice give him a chance.​

​

YOU: Thanks for believing in me, buddy. There's somebody out there for you too, don't worry.​

The third one is all nonverbal:

GUY: [hits you on the back]​

​

YOU: [look at him very slowly, as if deciding whether to knock his block off or not]​

For for the guy going into a long speech about you being desperate, she friend zoned you, don't be a psychopath... just use @Gunwitch's "Dude, WHY are you talking to us?" then following whatever he says with, "All right, well, have a good night, buddy." You could use that for any of these, really.

Chase

 

[Dash of Englishness]

Hi all,

I enrolled in a University, and we have a group chat with about 500 people, although most people stay silent and it's mostly the same people talking and asking questions. From here, a group of 4 to 5 guys (all a handful of years younger than me) seem to have decided they can write whatever they want to whomever they want, chatting about trivial shit and generally not giving a fuck. The general reaction of the group chat is an occasional "please stop spamming this chat".

Now, I shared a message to this chat from another platform, about a person seemingly in need of help, being new to the city and running out of battery.
A couple minutes later that person admitted to trolling, so I spread the word on the group chat that it wasn't anything serious after all.

Then in response this guy writes something like "Bro you're a fucking clown, go to this and that branch where all the other failures are, I'm leaving the chat" , and to the last sentence I responded with "nice". Then the shitflinging started, he called me more names, I fired back, then his other friends started firing shots too.

Mind you, this is the official University chatroom, so I felt like I can't just ignore this shit since I also have a reputation however small (although I barely attend any lectures) so I thought I couldn't just ignore all the insults coming every which way.

I don't know why but this shit always gets to me. They started a beef for no damn reason and when I quip back, they try to bury me under insult after insult. What is this, a severe need for validation and fight for status in a fucking group chat?

Anyway, after a few messages that told us to stop, I said "you're right, this is the University server, I'm stopping now. Good night." and stopped writing. After that they each wrote some condescending and mocking shit and stopped writing as well.



So how should I have approached this? Dealing with this type of guys has always been the hardest for me.
With normal and friendly men I have no problem interacting, but these groups of guys who keep dogpiling on you and mocking you are the worst for me, because I never know if they're doing it in jest or with actual malice. I can't tell when I should start standing up for myself or when I should shrug it off.

And I end up thinking about all the factors around me and how I should respond. It's been this way since middle school and I don't understand why I'm getting attacked by these people for seemingly no reason.


Anyway, sorry for the rant. This shit just gets to me is all. I'd be happy to hear your thoughts on this.

Cheers,
Kezarin

That would irk me too. Your post reminds me of the saying "no good deed goes unpunished". You tried to help out a clown - a complete stranger by the sound of it - and it ended up landing you in some bother with some other clowns! Now the same guy who first called you a clown probably wouldn't have tucked into you, if say, you had just posted something relevant to the purpose of the chat group. Now I'm not saying that anything that that crowd posts is relevant, and that doesn't give them the right to pick on you, but never-the-less...

Yes, having a good comeback helps if you're quick enough to think of them. People here don't seem to want to admit that that's always possible. Could you complain these guys... or would it be worth it? Of course it's possible that you might end up chatting to one of these guys a few weeks from now without realising who they are!