Howdy Troy,
I'll try to answer your question, but I'm afraid you won't want to hear what I've got to tell you. Each person is different in some ways, so I guess others will be able to give you some merrier advice, I'll just give you my 2 cents.
I very well understand where you're coming from, because I've always wondered how on earth so many people find it so easy to have endless chats over SMS or other means of "electronic communication". I've never truly figured how to break what you called "dry spell" - sometimes people would exchange messages with me for quite a while, sometimes no answers came. However, you should remember that we come from different backgrounds (I mean places in the world), so I may not be able to catch 100% of the spirit of your specific situation.
Without any further ado, I'll tell you this: you say you'd like to be a normal teen, but the way I see it, you have to accept that you're not a normal person
per se. Neither am I, nor is anyone else here. Look at it this way: normal, regular, average Joe/Jane is a person not wanting to improve in any way, not wanting to achieve greater goals of any sort, not wanting to become a better person. As you see, we all here are different from that - we are self-improvement oriented people, so
not normal by definition.
When I was a teenager and went to high school the vast majority of teenagers were focused either on (a) living their social lives with all the parties and getting drunk included (who cares about actually learning something at school? that's ridiculous!), (b) being stuck in online life and consuming mainstream culture or (c) both of them at the same time. That's their sole purposes of existence at that time. But you and I know - you're better than that, right?
Always remember that you have to be very careful about you want to get, because you might eventually get it. Would you really like to get immersed in pointless, endless conversations about nothing? Believe me, if you're busy and someone is always wanting to message or call you about some stupid, not-important-to-anyone stuff, then you firstly feel nice (due to getting attention) and then you become tired of it and just wish that it would finally stop for a while. Not because you don't like the person calling/texting or not because you don't want to hang out with that person, just because you're busy and can't spend time on something pointless.
Now I'll just try to focus on other part of your message:
- It may be a cliche, but remember - don't focus on being sad (when they don't answer you), just be awesome instead (like Barney Stinson used to say). By that I mean: focus on more important things in your life and treat it the same way you treat messages from girls. A guy who doesn't even bother to text "fuck off" if he doesn't want to talk to you is just a pussy, therefore: basically a girl. Treat 'em the way they deserve, bro.
- Time for something merrier and more important -
my solution that's been working for me very fine for a long, long time and made so-called "dry spells" disappear:
1. Use SMS or other "electronic communication means" only to:
- set dates or meetings like going to cinema with friends, team activities (like running, playing sports or online, whatever you like&do);
- send interesting stuff that both you and message receiver relate to (for example you're both fans of books penned by Stephen King, so you just share news about a new upcoming novel);
- ask important questions about others life when you know there's something important (like his/her family member is in the hospital and you want to ask about their health or even something less dramatic stuff like results o final exams or 'driver's licence exam' etc.).
2. Other stuff to be dealt with without meeting - make a call.
3. All significant things to be dealt with on meeting (1on1 or group) if such meetings are possible.
Following this route, I don't care about not getting answers, because all these pieces of information seem to others (receivers) both significant and easy to answer. If I don't get an answer sometimes, then who cares? Sometimes people forget, sometimes they're too busy, sometimes they don't get it (SMS)... Many reasons, none of them worth of worrying about.
- How do you get others to contact you? Kinda easy: find people who share your interests. According to your profile: you like - for example - cooking and running. Just try to find either in real life, or online people who enjoy running and live in your area and run together. That may be a start to some great friendships and romances!
Also: you like cooking, right? So invite sometime people you know to your place for dinner or cake&coffee. I did it back in the day and it always was a good idea. This way you can practice your passion and get better while also improving your social life. It's always harder to not reply to a person who cooks sooo good... at least if you want to get some tasty food in the future
- Last case: of course it is unfair that you have difficulties in areas that others treat like a piece of cake, but guess what? Your problems are always the ones most important for you, but if you exchange yours for problems of another person, then THAT problems would be UNBEARABLE and your previous ones would just seem 'meh... that's even a problem?'. Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence and I bet that others would like to get your strong point in areas where they feel weak.
So... they don't answer you? Good, now you know who's not worth of your time (because is not your true friend) and can focus on sth more important - like becoming a better man. And remember - quiet sea never makes a good sailor. I know that obstacles always seem hard to shatter, but in the end you'll be so much better than those naturals without obstacles on their way... Just be patient and work hard&smart, man.
Also read something to cheer you up - search for:
- don't be so hung-up on pickup @ the boards (Chase's shown how different attitudes people have and why >99% of population never achieves anything worthy);
- Hector's article on how to get Warrior's Smile (great motivational existentialism - first upsetting, then making you stronger);
- if you want to change the way you worry about your problems, then search GC for CBT - Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.
Take care, man and don't worry, it's just not worth it.
Jaimie Richards
