Hello forums , advice really appriciated

boom

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
May 31, 2019
Messages
2
This is a long story I'll try to compress as much as possible and also english is not my first language ,thanks in advance.
So a bit of context, I've know this girl since high school which was like 15 years ago and I think I fell for her 3 or 4 vacation I er, we were good friends but not anything special, I was fat during this time and really not that much selfesteem, I told her I saw her as more then a friend and as we all know she saw me as just a friend.

A year goes by we start talking again and we became really good friends I still had feelings for her, but I was doing my stuff working as a DJ , doing my businesses and stuff. Everything I build went South since I had to sell everything cause my family went bankrupt, and she was dealing with some problems her way as well so we started connecting even more and supporting each other more and more, bcs that's what friends do

3 years ago I was playing one on a club and she comes crying she was feeling terrible , she came pick me up and we went to a hotel, she was really drunk and crying so I didn't want to take advantage of her that night bcs she was a really good friend of mine and was taking care of me while I was dealing with depression. I am still a virgin btw .ive had problems with my self esteem thinking I had a small penis bcs when I was small I was taking some pills for something penis related anyway.

We conected a lot more after what happened, so we started going out together doing long walks and she was paying for everything even buying me cigarettes bcs I was poor as fuck during that period, she invited me to her house twice didn't fuck bcs I'm a retard
She invited me to her birthday and got jealous of her friend cuz I was talking to her friend and not her....and wanted to fuck with me, bcs she loudly said it in front of everyone when I put a song she liked
,she was drunk but I'm shy so I was like yeah but no bcs it got really awkward.

fast forward im like look I like you think we should try with together, she was like no, like dont tell me it like that, so I'm like ok whatever, then we started working in a project , we still going out and having long walks , I think she met a guy during this time but didn't last long she got disappointed, then we were kinda flirting and we got out one night we end up drinking still at 8am , and not in a hotel somehow, I remember going but I don't remember what happened to the reception, so I ask her out, one week later I think, so she's like yeah I'll be out with my friends and we can meet after, so we meet and go to a club start dancing, I start kissing her on the neck, but then she was looking all around and I was not getting the attention I think it's normal, bcs I have all the attention when we go out for long walks, same happened the week before but yeah, anyway I started kissing her on her neck and we were having fun, then she started talking to me about someone that she had a crush on, that was there, and I got pissed of of that attitude, she was like you don't have to be jealous, and I left...

Then we started talking again and we were at her home working for a project and when her parents left she was like asking me what did I wish at that moment , luckily I didn't wish for nasty stuff bcs her parents came home really quick, then we had a fight bcs I gambled some money and we didn't talk for like one year, fast forward to this month, we started doing those long walks, and she asking me about future plans, she has been through some trouble though so she is like you could come to my house if my parents don't return home bcs I'm afraid to sleep alone so I'm like ok, her parent came home unfortunately haha.

we went out 3 days ago and the first thing she did when we met was giving me a compliment, anyway we rolled some weed she was talking about how she needed something new to happen in her life , that she wanted to move out of the country and that i should do that asewell, so I'm like well ok let's ask her to go on vacation together I ask her if she wants to come for vacations with me and she goes like, I will stay with my parents this summer bla bla (thats true though) so basically a no, and she got really kind of deffensive and started talking about how she wants to meet other people ,and i found that weird since she has never done that and she told me that I should save money for vacations implying that we would go together.

Shes like an 8-9 , outgoing and adventurous , and likes to have fun, smart and she likes to be flirty .
I'm good lookingaswell just a bit chubby .

I honestly want to know what the fuck is going on, I really like this girl, I've had different love interests during that time aswell, but she has never been out of the list.
 

Poli

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
39
Hello,

From what I am reading clearly you like this girl enough to want to at least fuck her or maybe you want to have kids with her I'm not to sure but anyways my take on this is that there are some major indications that she at least wants to fuck you or maybe kids again not really sure tho. Also you mentioned your chubby a few times so either own it and don't be insecure about it or hit the gym either way you are good on that. You mentioned a penis problem, I'm not a doctor so I can't say for sure what going on but I would say google average penis size and if you"re even close to average you're good on that and no pills are necessary. Overall my take is there is enough attraction for you and her to get steamy as long as you as the man can lead her or be ok with her lead since she seems to be more sexually experienced than you. Hope this helps!

Cheers
 

boom

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
May 31, 2019
Messages
2
Hey Poli , thanks for taking the time and dropping some advice here .
My penis is average so that not a problem with it now that i know . It was an insecurity when i was younger.

2nd what i find wierd is that when i try to make a move ,or say something like we should go on holydays together ,she gets defensive somehow and like starts talking about idk other guys in (general , no names) , switches topics ,she gets kinda nervous and goes full deffence, she's not dating anyone , and im probably really bad at it .
Its worth noting that she has a lot of xperience.
What should i do , how should i move forward , and if i let her lead , what do you do when she leads , ive had moments when we would go to hotels together in the past but didnt bcs of me (not worth explaning) yeah... , the thing is i dont know how to get there and i dont know how i have done it...but i think it has always been her ideas when that happened ,i mean she asked to meet up when things moved forward.
Thanks.
 
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