What's new

Help me with your stories on anxiety!

R.Hudson

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 18, 2013
Messages
12
Hello all!
So it's been a little while since I was last on these forums, and this post is me asking for your lovely help, if you're willing to give it...allow me to explain (I'll attempt to be brief. Spoiler: I failed):

So rewind your clocks if you would to December 2013! I was reading GC blogs, and posts, at a consistent level, and had been for over a year; my experiences with women were never bad, but this website really helped me hone my skills into something better than I had ever thought possible. I was sleeping with women weekly/monthly (depending on my financial situation/whether I felt like it), and life felt damn well perfect...then I met a young lady who appeared to me as someone better than your 'average hot girl'. I know what you're thinking, as yes, this is a post about exes...kind of.

We dated for over a year until recently breaking up, and for the first 3 months of the relationship life seemed even more perfect. But then it fell down...waaaay down! Around the 4 month mark, she was starting to get anxious about her final exams for her University course she'd slaved over for the past 4 years. I noticed immediate change in attitude towards her friends and family; but to me, all seemed okay. A month later, she was deep in depression, suffered severe panic disorder, and her entire life went to shit. I held her hand and stayed by her side, as anyone would given the scenario, but in all honesty, I couldn't relate to the girl! I loved her, sure...but I had never experienced anything like this before, and my help extended to just being there for her when she needed me, and helping her out with support groups. Fast forward a depressing month, or so, and she was getting skinny, extremely skinny. She was then diagnosed with anorexia, this was the turning point in her mind, and she soon started to shut me out.
Now, by this point in the story, I wasn't exactly at my best. Most nights were consumed with her well-being, and making sure she was attempting to grow stronger. So when she first accused me of cheating, lying, and being a terrible boyfriend, it hit me like a ten ton truck. I should have seen it coming, she had already lost half her friends, and her family were struggling to even communicate with her.
Soon she moved back in with her parents, and things only got worse. I caught her bitching about me to her friends, and to mine on occasion, and everything I did, whether for myself, or for her, deemed me a bastard in her eyes. To cut to the chase of all of this, I was being dragged down. I continued to stay with her through it all until things got out of hand even further so; I caught her going through my social media messages, and phone (I never even told her the passwords, so only god knows how she worked it all out). While she found no incriminating evidence (as there were no crimes on my behalf), she made stories up using extremely old PM's with past flings.
Either way, I flipped, we broke up a couple of times, slept with other people, got back together, and the whole thing left me underweight, skinny, and emotionally spent!
After a terrible new years eve going into 2015, I gave her the ultimatum of either changing her ways, undo the damage she'd done through her lies about me with her remaining family and friends, or I'm gone for good...you can guess what happened right?

Skip forward a couple of months and I'm single, my parents begin to get divorced, and my dad tells me he no longer wants me in his life (he had another family that he was hiding from us all since 2007)! I turn to him for help, and he blocks my contact info. I turn to my grandparents for family support, and they're great...until my granddad nearly died from a heart attack, and my grandmother suffered a stroke last week. Now they're both too out of it to help.

So, while this all sounds terribly depressing and unhappy, I'm still here! With a smile on my face caused by fantastic siblings, and tremendous friends! But I'm lost, suffering from panic disorder, which makes approaching girls impossible!
Rather than apologies, or sympathy, I ask of one thing if I may...set aside the pride and let me know your darkest times, whether they be from events similar to my own, approach anxiety, or to overcoming embarrassing resistance from beautiful women!

I've received outstanding advice from this community in the past, and it would help amazingly to know of how you all break through your struggles...this isn't intended to be a cry for help, nor am I asking for a shoulder to cry on...I've always been confident, and strong, so as you can imagine, this crippling time, has led me to self doubt; prove those thoughts wrong if you may spare the time!
Thanks for reading (I didn't want to post such a personal matter such as this. But I've realized we all need help from time, to time ;)
R.Hudson
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
I'm not sure what you are looking for...?

My impression is that you broke your GF's trust and that could be the underlying cause of excessive anxiety. Maybe she thought she's got a good BF and it is possible that she had some sort of a plan: Finish college, get good job/income, get married with a great guy that she found (you), have a good family, nice life and so on...

Then she somehow found out, most likely from her friends, that you are perhaps cheating on her, that you slept with many other girls, possibly that you even follow GC seeking to be a seducer... Remember, girls talk and they have lots of friends.... She may have realized that this relationship is all fake, that you just did everything to sleep with her... What worse, she may think that you are a cheater, she accused you of cheating, lying, being a terrible boyfriend...

So now she may have felt kind of fooled... she's got to study hard for finals, her plans for happy family and life on her own are all gone... She doesn't see any future at this point of time, what seemed like roses ended up being thorns, so she moved back to her family...

She probably love(d) you but she can't trust you, maybe when she got some hints from her friends she tried to hold it in herself, at least at first, but she became suspicious... Some of her friends probably told her about your past, so she was trying to find out the evidence through your social media, phone... Who knows what she found or what she was told, but now you are the villain, the bastard, terrible BF...

She also may have found out about your dad, that he is a cheater, that he is having another family in secret for years... She may just think that you are following his foot steps, and she freaked out...

That all might be the source of her, anxiety, panic attacks and depression... I would not be surprised at all if my impression is right and she ended up this way because of that...
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

R.Hudson

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 18, 2013
Messages
12
Hey Drck,
I was undergoing some heavy anxiety at the time of writing this post, and I just needed a vent/help! Thanks for replying :)

I didn't need anyone to explain her story though, I already lived through it all! I generally liked her, and that generally blossomed into love; with which I was always faithful, and supportive! Now, I don't want go down the route of saying I was the ideal boyfriend, as evident of our break up! While I know I did a lot of things incorrectly in the relationship (I'm no relationship veteran after all), I certainly never gave her reasons to doubt what we shared...although I do find myself agreeing with your description of her worrying if ill follow my father's footsteps/worrying about my past with seducing!

With that out of the way, I was looking for general advise on anxiety! I felt at the time explaining it as a story would help, so I understand the confusion. But as I suffer from time to time with this horrible condition, I was hoping for some uplifting stories of you lovely lot defeating the anxiety monster that rears it's head from time to time! No more...no less!
Thanks
Hudson
 
Top