Help please with ex!

[Anonymous]

I'm in a bit of a unique situation here. I'm deployed in Egypt and have been in a LD relationship with a girl for almost 5 months. Yesterday she said she wasn't ready for another serious relationship and needed to focus on herself for a while and that she couldn't give enough with the distance at hand. The trick to all this is that we started our relationship right as I deployed and haven't met in person yet - hence, why I'm not posting in the 'relationship' section. I know what most are thinking but there is an incredible amount of compatibility and we both know how rare it is to meet a match with such high potential. Don't need to go into anymore about that though. We did get into saying the ILY's about two months ago with her saying it first and me soon following. So at one point emotions were high and I admit we were both living in a fantasy of the future.
Well, two weeks ago we had our first small fight and it was entirely a miscommunication through chat. We made peace andcame to common ground. She was very I'll for about a week and there was a lot of distance in talking between us unlike before. I could tell she was pulling away. I showed some emotion and concern but wasn't a total putz - but I do think it was enough to lose attraction points. So here's where we are now. She broke up last night, still wants to be friends, and possibly try again when I get back and when she's ready. She told me she hasn't been single for more than a couple weeks since she has been 18 (21 now,) and needs time since she went from leaving her ex and then meeting me. We met on an online dating site and I believe her when she said she's definitely not doing that again right now. She only said that after I joked about turning my profile back on in dread since we both hate the overall online dating experience in general. At least I planted the seed of me moving on.
I don't think there is anyone else at all. I'm pretty sure I lost attraction in her by being too available, and too easy to get like in Chase's article "getting an ex back." I do believe that she meant it when she said let's try when I get back to the states in 4 months.
So here are my questions...what do I do to gain attraction and stay out of the friend zone? I'm confident that if I can get her on a date I can seduce her properly. Its just getting to that point that I want to make the right moves. The girl does mean a lot to me and I want to try my best for this one. I've dated long enough to know a good thing when I see it.

BTW, I showed zero sadness or emotion during the break-up. It made her feel at ease she said because I took it so well. We even laughed some and made a few jokes, said ILU's and left the conversation with pride intact. Been reading these articles and they're great. Just wish I came across them sooner.

Thanks for any help and advice.

 

[Thedoctor]

I know what most are thinking but there is an incredible amount of compatibility and we both know how rare it is to meet a match with such high potential.

Trace,

I'd recommend looking over this topic first that you may have overlooked:

viewtopic.php?f=14&t=33

As stated in that post, this forum is more to help you with girls in general rather than helping you with just a single one. Remember there are roughly 7 billion people on earth and half of them are women! That aside, it can be difficult (often impossible) to rectify a situation where you dropped the ball with a particular girl. That's why we're here. To help you not repeat these same mistakes with the next girl.

Now, if you absolutely insist on pursuing this girl, here's my advice:

Try to make her a little jealous (even more difficult to do when the two of you haven't met!):
https://www.girlschase.com/content/makin ... -and-donts

You really just want to be giving her the idea that you have other options. That way it may pressure her more into a date with you upon your return. Bit of a long shot given the whole situation.

Best of luck to ya,
-John

 

[Light]

So here are my questions...what do I do to gain attraction and stay out of the friend zone?

- You don't do anything and simply move on.

She may be a rare catch, but she isn't the only rare one out there. If you think like that your mind will be in the scarcity mode instead of thinking abundantly. That itself kills attraction.
Want to gain attraction? Go and date other girls and let her know how well life is going for you. Drop in the line "although you was still my favourite "

You can't capture anyone's heart if they don't value you. Let her miss you. If she doesn't it just means you guys weren't meant to be. Its really that simple.

 

[luego]

You've never met in person? And you're deep into the "I love you's"?

The vast majority of the content on this site is about how to meet women, excite/seduce them, handle your fundamentals, and get them to give you a chance. And if you read the posts on texting, especially, you'll see a HUGE emphasis on "the written word is a miserable way to seduce a woman".

On LD Relationships, Chase is quite clear about the benefit of regular physical contact (at least every 3 weeks). Again, we're dealing with building and keeping attraction.

Speaking as someone who got quite close with a few girls online back in the day, I get how you can get attached. But it's nothing but potential, right now. Screen/Phone contact doesn't substitute for looking into someone's eyes or grabbing them tight (let alone mind-blowing sex).

She's young, she's a serial dater, and she likely has a ton of available options local to her. No matter how much of a catch you are, you can't compete with that right now. And the more you try, the more she'll actively make the comparison and see how you don't measure up (and I don't mean that as an attack on you, just the situation). She will rationalize and internalize why she apparently isn't as into you as she thought she was. I think you need to look at it as a misplayed hand. Break off contact (may be even completely). Once you're back in town, start FRESH. Read the recent article "Reversing Past Precedent".