Help! Rare type of girl, any advice?

[ChandlerSanzone]

I'm currently a college student and the majority of girls on campus (I'd say close to 90%) are "party girls." Even those who aren't SUPER into partying, still go out on the weekends and do SOMETHING. There is a very small percentage of girls who are absolute homebodies who just sit at home and watch Netflix on the weekends. How do tactics differ when trying to seduce these girls/convert them into girlfriends?

An example of a girl I know: she likes to smoke weed often, she is depressed and extremely insecure (part of why she smokes), and she has social anxiety to the point where she is terrified of going out to meet new people (she claims that she "wishes I could go out and party").

How do tactics differ when trying to seduce/convert into a girlfriend a girl who is a homebody as opposed to a partier? Should you try to "get her out of her shell" by doing adventurous things with her? Or should you accomodate her homebody tendencies?

How do you handle a girl who is depressed, shy, and insecure? Do you try to raise her self-esteem? Or should you not allow her to drown in her own self-pity?

In regards to the example: Should I spend a significant amount of the time with the girl (my logic is: since she has trouble talking to people, if she becomes comfortable around me, she would see me as the only/best option)?

Also in regards to the example: Should I allow her to be a homebody and try to pull a "Netflix and chill" (if so, how would that work?) or should I convince her to go out and do adventurous things with me?

I'd love to hear any experiences you've had or advice you can share!

P.S. I know that dealing with girls with depression can be very difficult, but I really would like to learn how to bring them joy. I'm sure that party girls and other types would be far easier to hook up with/have a relationship with - but I really would love to be able to cure (for lack of a better word) their depression with a fulfilling relationship.

 

[Natureman]

How do you handle a girl who is depressed, shy, and insecure?

Personaly, I am not attracted to that type of women.
More precisecly quiet, introverted and maybe a little bit shy non-party girls yes. But insecure and even depressed,
smoking a weed? No.

Partnership is not a psychotherapy (even though it may have that effects as a side effect). For me it is
primarily about sharing and joy.

What people in general are looking for in a relationship is that it makes
their life better. Here I do not see that benefit.There might still be a lot of what you have to work on
in a relationship (e.g. teaching the woman to by resistant to social influece like marketing etc.).
And even then you do not know whether there will be any progress or not. In the case you describe,
the base is too low to invest into them.

I would simply avoid those kind of women.
At your place I would ask myself the question: why am I attracted to those kind of women?
Why don't you find a girl who is at ease with herself and the world?

Maybe I misunderstood your motivation but honeslty you remind me a little bit of a woman who wants to turn an abusive
alcoholice into a "nice" guy.

 

[ChandlerSanzone]

Anyone else have any thoughts?

 

[foggy]

Anyone else have any thoughts?

have you taken any sort of action yet?

 

[ChandlerSanzone]

Anyone else have any thoughts?

have you taken any sort of action yet?

She has been gone for the past 5 days and won't be back until Monday. I plan to make some moves then

 

[sneaky_charm]

I don't know man, but if my patterns are any example, I'd say you won't be able to get her out of her shell. When the time is right, she'll have to do it herself.

I personally try to stay away from depressing girls, partly because I have a similar past and I don't want to be sucked back in again. If I were you I'd look for a healthy girl who is secure in herself.

 

[lostnumber]

For a homebody girl keep it simple and don't try to convince her to do something she isn't going to want to do. That's actually good advice in general to closing girls; keeping the date as simple as possible. Even with a party girl my MO would be to go out for coffee/drinks/dinner and than bring her back to my place.

I wouldn't even think about trying to "change" her or get her outside of her comfort zone until after you've closed the deal and slept with her. She's going to be a lot more willing to listen to you at that point. Even then, you're likely going to be fighting a losing battle to change her or make her not depressed. That kind of thing comes from within, and from the outside there isn't much you or anyone else can do about it.

Regarding the seduction, I wouldn't try to spend a ton of time getting to know her before you close her and sleep with her. The more you talk to her but don't take her as a lover the more likely you are to be pushed into the friend zone.