"He's attractive" shit tests

[Aramis]

Hi all,

I have been seeing a girl for 3 weeks and on many occasions she has pointed out men she finds attractive or has given me anecdotes of being chased by others. Here are a couple of examples.

Spoken conversation
Her: "There's this guy where I work who is massive and super hot. Whenever I try and count the money he comes and leans right over me and puts one hand on my shoulder because he knows it flusters me. I have to count it like three times!"
Me: "And does he smirk when he sees how you react?"
Her: "Haha yes!"

Text conversation
Her: "...so at first the tax driver had a go at me for being 10 minutes late...and then by the time we got to the airport he asked me out on a date when I came home Hahahahahahahaha... Needless to say I'm not going on it!!! too funny!"
Me: "Hahahaha you know what I thought his attitude might change once he saw you and you chatted! Sorry buddy, you already showed your true colours!"

She has also said some of my friends are "good looking" to which I have simply agreed.

I have tried to make sure my general vibe to these comments is one of unaffected, slight amusement. This is correct right? How are my replies in the above conversations? Am I to expect these shit tests for the rest of our time together? Is there any way of balancing against this to show that women are chasing me?

I imagine the answer to that final question might be, not saying anything like she has (which as a woman she can get away with!), but instead implying it through her overseeing my interactions with other women?

Thanks for any answers to these questions or any other points you have to make. There was another post on the same topic I believe but I have exhausted my efforts to find it and add a link.

Cheers

Aramis

 

[Franco]

Aramis,

I have tried to make sure my general vibe to these comments is one of unaffected, slight amusement. This is correct right? How are my replies in the above conversations? Am I to expect these shit tests for the rest of our time together? Is there any way of balancing against this to show that women are chasing me?

You have answered these all correctly. She's trying to qualify herself to you by showing that she has other men chasing her, and it's a way of trying to convey to you that she's an attractive, valuable partner. In other words, she really likes you.

My girlfriend did this for awhile with me, especially in the earlier stages of our relationship. Sometimes she will just genuinely want to tell you about a funny story involving a dude hitting on her, but often it's that she wants to indirectly convey that she's desired by other men in order to try to give you more reasons to desire her yourself. If you handle her expectations and the relationship well, these tend to die down over time.

Once you're already sleeping with her, and assuming you did it swiftly, you don't need to reciprocate. As a matter of fact, reciprocating tells her that you feel the need to qualify yourself to her as well, and it actually makes you less desirable. A guy who sleeps with tons of women would just get a kick out of her story without feeling the need to tell his own -- he just simply rails her like there's no tomorrow ten minutes later.

- Franco

 

[Aramis]

You have answered these all correctly.

Epic.

In other words, she really likes you.

Very epic.

Once you're already sleeping with her, and assuming you did it swiftly, you don't need to reciprocate.

Yes I did; I met her on a night out and got her back to mine there and then. Attraction has an expiry date ;-) I appreciate your advice Franco and can see that the implication there is that I can get plenty of women easily, at least from a night out.

But, here's the rub. We discussed number of sexual partners one time when drinking, and I make a point of never lying. (Which feels congruent with the essence of Girls Chase philosophy in never hurting a woman.) So she said she had lost count around fifty and I said she was my ninth. Nine does not feel like the number of a man who is able to imply vast success with women.

Is this an issue?

Thanks very much.

 

[Whizzy]

It's only an issue if you believe that it is one, shrug it off and be the man that's more desireable than the other and can give her what she really wants...that sexual monster she can't hold back

 

[Aramis]

That's great, thank you Whizzy.

As always, I guess it's about zero insecurities or hang-ups. Mentality is massive.

And (if it's not breaking rules to mention other products) the dating skills podcast led me to the ebook revolutionary sex. This looks excellent and studying it should help me to achieve your final point. Giving her stacked multiple orgasms that leave her a quivering wreck, melting into me with dilated doe eyes. Ha!

Cheers

 

[daviddreamer]

That's great, thank you Whizzy.

As always, I guess it's about zero insecurities or hang-ups. Mentality is massive.

And (if it's not breaking rules to mention other products) the dating skills podcast led me to the ebook revolutionary sex. This looks excellent and studying it should help me to achieve your final point. Giving her stacked multiple orgasms that leave her a quivering wreck, melting into me with dilated doe eyes. Ha!

Cheers

....got a boner from this...
Where is this ebook at? lol

 

[PinotNoir]

Interestingly, my ex-girlfriend cited this as a cultural difference between American and Chinese men and why she decided that she would rather have a Chinese husband one day (even though this scenario never happened between me and her).

She said that in China this is a very common joke between lovers, and Chinese women will often say, "Oh wow, that guy over there is so handsome," and the Chinese guy will always respond, "Yeah, hot stuff" or something.

But, she said that her female friend's American husband got very upset with her one day for saying that. Bit of a jealous guy.

This is also interesting and ironic to me because it's almost a requirement for all Chinese men to hold their girlfriend's purse and bags everywhere. Ouch.

Anyway, the point is to not be affected by it. Which guy is she having sex with? If it's you, don't worry about it. And well, if she's having sex with that guy.... find another girl. I think people just like to play games and have fun. Girls will say things just because it's fun sometimes, like the old "guess my age" line. If she's regularly having sex with you and holding your hand during the interaction and going to have sex with you that night, I mean why get mad over anything so silly anyway. It's just a playful comment.