"He's like a Brother to me."

[IrishConrad]

Assuming your not a jealous, insecure type who will have trouble with ANY man your girl talks to...how many of you have encountered the above statement>?

I just finished reading Colts "Things that lead to an Emotional Affair": https://www.girlschase.com/content/thing ... nal-affair

This got the wheels spinning as I've encountered this twice in my 20's. The first time I was in a serious relationship with the girl and my gut instinct was that something didn't feel right about how they communicated and how he always so eager to help/please her....especially when things started to deteriorate in our relationship. White night comes to save damsel in distress while our relationship piddles out into nothing more that a summer of drunken hook-ups. I left that relationship and when I look back, she was still contacting me for sex when he was very much by her side....but still who knows.

Girls will say a lot of things to justify their behavior and at that point I understand now that being a man of high value means being able to walk away from anything that doesn't server you or the relationship.

Once I became more self aware of White knighting behavior I began to despise it and see men that take part in it as extremely weak in certain areas. It's when they defend their behavior that I have to laugh and almost feel sorry for them.

In your experience. How have you handled this claim that he's like a brother?

Calling her out on her behavior can make you seem week or like the aforementioned insecure man.

Do you scoff at the notion of her having an affair...emotional or physical?

 

[Glitch]

This is an interesting post as I personally haven't encountered this myself so would like to keep tabs on any incoming information if a future situation arises.

As always, women are emotional creatures and no logic no matter how sound will sway her opinion if she feels a particular way about a certain situation. My only tactic is to just let it be, just a non-judgemental indifference if approached by said girl.

In my cases I normally will quell any situation and straighten it out before it continues to escalate and lead to more 'serious matters'. Frame is important when dealing with these matters as if you come across as too giving you appear as submissive and then it makes matters worse, for me keeping the dominant frame but balancing her concerns is especially important for said matters.

As for white-knighting, I do have some semblence of pity for them but it is every bit of ones responsibility to fix themselves. Even though being a 'good smart student' (probably see myself as a bit nerdy) I did get into quite a few fights concerning my ethnicity. Family, life experience and possibly my mentality learned from family taught me to never be walked over be it male or female. This has what given me the mentality of: Fix it, fight it or be weak.

For me I now am indifferent to such matters whether it be a white knight or complaining girls.

Experience indentifies your flaws however it is up to you and you only to decide if you should fix them or not. Choose not to and you deserve to be weak and be taken advantage of because you were too ignorant to fix those flaws.

 

[Estate]

Am I mis-interpreting this or do you mean calling the WOMAN out for letting a herself be white nighted by a guy?

Hmmm... I feel like that's a bad idea. Personally I would just avoid the topic altogether... he is the brother, you act as a lover around her... therefore there's never any reason to be threatened by him.
If you are threatened by him then it probably comes off weak on your part..

At least that how I feel.

 

[Doctor]

Agree completely with Estate.

If you mention this to her she is going to think you are threatened by a white knight, thus placing you below the white knight in value and I'm sure you don't want to do that to yourself.

All women do this, they always keep backups and they want you to know about it (not directly), it's a way of them keeping power. An example of this was a FB of mine was giving me a lift somewhere and told me I would have to walk the last 5 minutes because she needed to park at a friends house because she needed to stay there that night (she had mentioned things like this many times before). She then spent the whole journey trying to get me to go exclusive with her and failing so at the end of the journey I slyly said to her "your legs are smooth tonight, expecting some action?" knowing full well what would happen next. And, alas, she explodes saying this friend is a guy who has been texting her and who wants to go exclusive with her because she is such a great girl and she is finally going to spend the night with him tonight because I am such an asshole. I.e he was her backup.

So the moral of the story, all women have backups. The only time you should worry about them is if you fuck up your relationship royally or, as in my case, they are able/willing to provide something you can't/aren't (in this case exclusivity).

Otherwise just carry on, let him be her emotional tampon while you get to satisfy her sexual needs, I see no problem here!

Good luck!
-Doctor