Hey Marty, I saw your qns. I think this helps abit

[trashKENNUT]

Hey Marty, and all,

I found this to be really good comments between me and Chase some time ago. In the mean time, you might want to read this. (Chase's writings is in bold)

Re: "Hook Up Culture"
Postby Chase » Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:30 pm

The impression you'll get from the media is that everybody's hooking up left and right, all the time.

In the United States, the average age at first marriage for a woman is about 27 years old. If you're talking college-educated women, and most of the guys on this board have gone to or are in college right now, it's probably closer to 31 or 32. If you imagine a reasonably sexually active woman loses her virginity at 16 or 17 and has 30 partners before she gets married at 31 or 32, that sounds like a lot, but it's actually only 2 partners a year.

2 partners in an entire year... that puts it in some crazy perspective. A lot of guys hear a girl's been with 30 guys, and say, "Whoa! That's a lot." Then they hear she's only slept with 2 guys this year, and they say, "Eh, that's nothing!"

It's REALLY hard to get accurate numbers, but my guess for the average college-educated girl who goes on to have her own career is probably somewhere between 15 and 35 partners lifetime in this day and age, unless she's a serial monogamist and has lots of long-term boyfriends. Most girls in the West go through stints where they're in committed relationships for 2 or 3 years, and then they break up and go out and sleep with 5 or 6 guys in a 6- to 8-month period.

ZacAdam wrote:
i am wondering what is the false behind all this or what is the idea that 'sex' sells a lot. Maybe Chase could have some insight. I have no idea. Just this ferocious idea of hooking up and all and yet, people are still not getting it.


If you watch Western TV and movies, you'll think planes are crashing all the time, and people shoot each other left and right, and hospital ERs are constantly filled with attractive young people hanging on the edge of life from some traumatic injury (and not 90% heart attacks or falls in the bathroom by people who are 60+, like most ERs). Writers for the media seize on the most gripping stories and write about them.

You wouldn't want to watch a show that showed some girl going out on 50 different episodes and only hooking up with a guy during 2 of them, would you? Or an ER that's filled with people just sitting around patiently waiting for their chance to see the doctor... real life is way too boring for TV.

Chase

Re: "Hook Up Culture"
Postby ZacAdam » Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:05 am

Chase,

Chase wrote:
2 partners in an entire year... that puts it in some crazy perspective. A lot of guys hear a girl's been with 30 guys, and say, "Whoa! That's a lot." Then they hear she's only slept with 2 guys this year, and they say, "Eh, that's nothing!"

It's REALLY hard to get accurate numbers, but my guess for the average college-educated girl who goes on to have her own career is probably somewhere between 15 and 35 partners lifetime in this day and age, unless she's a serial monogamist and has lots of long-term boyfriends. Most girls in the West go through stints where they're in committed relationships for 2 or 3 years, and then they break up and go out and sleep with 5 or 6 guys in a 6- to 8-month period.


In Asia here, I would like to mention, according to my observation, An average girl who is married for here, is a diploma student and graduate at the age of 20, some taking their university and finish at the age of 24 or 25, most of them gets married at about 25 or 26, and for university graduate for that matter, around 32.

the diploma student have an average sex life, about 5 partners, and her additional 'forgotten past' (which an article you wrote, and i found it to be well regarded because i see it happen during relationships in friends and facebook, people, given the chance to flirt, they will take the best 'pie' out there.) are about four to five, I would say more. The university graduate would be more likely to have lesser partners and more of her 'forgotten past', casual flings and sex due to studies and Asian Parents i would say.

In Asia, likely the numbers are about to 10 to 25.

z@c+

 

[Marty]

Oh, thanks Zac.

I don't actually know any women who got married as late as 32 (certainly not for the first time anyway), but I guess even for those who get married around 24 (like most of the married women I know) they probably add a few new lovers after that event, so it pretty much comes to the same thing.

I have nowhere near 30 sex partners. I think I have only 7 unless I've forgotten one (it was all rather a long time ago)—in any case I have some catching-up to do!

-Marty

 

[Grand Pooba]

Oh, thanks Zac.

I don't actually know any women who got married as late as 32 (certainly not for the first time anyway), but I guess even for those who get married around 24 (like most of the married women I know) they probably add a few new lovers after that event, so it pretty much comes to the same thing.

I have nowhere near 30 sex partners. I think I have only 7 unless I've forgotten one (it was all rather a long time ago)—in any case I have some catching-up to do!

-Marty

In the city I live I think it's quite common for women to not marry until they're in their 30's.

I personally don't think you need to put pressure on yourself to catch up. Honestly, I do that to myself, as I think my number is far lower for similar people my age, so I'm coming from that perspective. With enough emphasis on learning the skills, I think the numbers will increase with due time.