Hookup culture, Online Dating and how this Could Affect us

[silenceinthesnow]

Hookup culture has become more and more prominent with online dating and with online dating becoming a huge part in how most people are now dating, dating has become more and more like playing a game for people. I know there are various articles on GC that cover the pitfalls of online dating and why you shouldn't use it as your only source of meeting girls, and I know some people have had a lot of success from using Online dating so it works for some people.

Society is becoming more casual with how it views relationships with the hookup culture mentality, and online dating helps keep the whole affair covert. This definitely helps you to maintain casual relationships with girls because there less external pressure that she isn't in a relationship from her friends and family. Abundance mentality is also running wild for most people with this because they're never more than a few swipes away from attention and/or validation.

Alongside this with the whole 'feminist' and 'PC' movement, girls are encouraged more that they can have everything and be open about their wants, needs and desires. This is a double edged sword, you have the anti men feminist agenda and the feminist that wants to be a man agenda (Penis envy). Both sides have their own issues but that's another topic entirely. What we're going to explore here is the girls that are 'liberated' and willing to express and pursue what they want. This group is making the most of their 'freedom' by hooking up, or not.

For those that are choosing to hookup, their open about their sexuality, needs and desires. This makes hooking up with these girls very likely. You understand that they're sexual and they have no issues hiding it. You'll be able to escalate here very quickly and shouldn't be met with much resistance because they're open to what they want. Those that aren't hooking up are typically constantly window shopping and will keep looking/swiping to see if anything better comes along. This group could be very hot to your advances, until they get attention from something 'better' and you'll be dropped for the next one in line.

What does this mean for us? I think this changes for what you're looking for. If you're looking for a SNL/SDL this doesn't change anything and in some cases if you find the right girl escalating will be a lot easier for you and you will both get what you want. You're not bothered about how many people she's slept with before you and the seduction would be met with a lot less resistance than what you could face. However if you're looking for a LTR and like most articles/people here suggest you really don't want a girl with a high lay count, you're going to be left with slim pickings or possibly met with a lot more resistance when trying to find the mythical 'Unicorn'.

How this could affect us all for typical dating girls however is I find they're so used to be showered with attention or have such an abundance mentality, a lot of girls won't bother with you if you stop talking to them for a day or two. Over the past year or two I have played about with how much contact I need to keep with girls between setting up dates and I find they're more likely to flake/bail on a date if we don't talk every day building up to the date than they are if you're always talking. This goes against everything that you should be doing, I'm not sure if it's a local issue for my area or if others have experienced this?

One of my mates is currently on Tinder and Bumble which is why I've gave this so much thought, personally I don't use online dating so I don't have firsthand experience of dating apps. He has told me that he has had many matches just stop and go cold or cancel on dates because he hasn't messaged them every day building up to the meet. Occasionally some of them do message back and try to arrange a date so I don't think his online game is that bad, so it would appear they've either found something 'better' or found attention/validation from somewhere else and have moved on.
I think hookup culture is possibly being replaced with attention and validation culture, which will eventually change how we interact in relationships and seduction. If you're not meeting each other's needs, what you want is only a swipe away.

I remember reading an article on GC regarding moving slow is the new moving fast: https://www.girlschase.com/content/why- ... oving-fast
And I think this is more apparent due to the nature of online dating and hookup culture, it definitely is affecting how we're going to interact. The article is an interesting read and I'd suggest reading it.

SilenceintheSnow

 

[radeng]

Silence,

The article you posted was the April fools article from 2014. Please don’t take that advice seriously lol.

There are still girls all over the spectrum in 2019 in terms of sexual experience. While attitudes in general to dating around have been evolving to be more open to it, nothing has really changed with the way it should be approached. I think the biggest change is now the option to build social identities through Ig and fb that can help you leverage social proof in your favor. Not needed for good results but could help, especially w younger demographics.

Radeng

 

[trashKENNUT]

s_inthesnow,

I haven't read all of this.

If hookup culture is real, i would not have to handle female retardation, especially in Asia. But that doesn't mean that girls don't like sex. It means nobody really knows

That's the secret though. Ambiguity. Keep jumping between matrixes.

Girlschase is one of the only place besides my personal account where i reveal how to use the same manipulation (ambiguity) to get girls.

Ask me with humility and Lord Zac, answers Kidding. Have humility, and the Lord opens oceans. It happens with me. I see many things, other men don't

Zac

 

[silenceinthesnow]

Radeng and Zac, thanks for the replies guys.

Thanks for pointing out it's a joke article! I first read it about a year ago but ironically what I was experiencing at that time seemed that the article carried a lot of weight to it although I didn't actually apply it and moved as fast as I could without rushing.

It's something that I've also started to see again now and while I always thought this was happening because a lot of girls started to see me more as a boyfriend than as a lover the amount of contact in between meeting up has always been a consistent thing for the girls I've met in my area. I usually find if you go 2 days without talking to them they're more likely to flake or bail where daily contact seems to keep them interested. I've had a lot of girls go cold on me because I haven't talked to them for a day and usually don't persist with these girls because they're either not interested or I can't be bothered with the games that they're playing. Sometimes this can be turned around, but I let them chase me at this point they can talk to me and apologise for ghosting/ignoring me. Ironically most of them come back which makes me question why they went cold?

What got me thinking this could be an issue presenting itself with online dating is when talking to one of my friends about his tinder and bumble he mentioned that he has had issues of girls bailing or stopping talking to him if he didn't keep in daily contact with them. His thoughts were because they keep swiping (and why wouldn't anyone?) that as soon as he stops giving them attention they find someone that will give them constant attention and move on. There's too many variables to actually consider with this because maybe his text game is letting him down or maybe he hasn't pushed for the meet up fast enough and missed an escalation window?

I don't doubt that there are still girls all over the sexual experience spectrum in 2019, recently I've met girls with 0-2 and 10 - 20 lovers. I have met a couple of 18 yo lately that are close to hitting 10 lovers already which makes me wonder if this is down to hookup culture? And if so how much more difficult would it be to find a girl without a high lay count that you'd actually consider girlfriend quality? And if it's a direct correlation between girls hooking up with guys that are lacking in fundamentals because they don't know any better due to online dating to seeing someone with tighter fundamentals as being a boyfriend?

Just a few thoughts that I've had, which I believe is a local issue but I recall debating 'quality' women with Zac in one of his posts to the forum: 'Opinions on Quality Women, or am my definition is wrong, Opinions. Thanks.' where he mentioned how he observed beautiful women typically ending up with a guy that lacks fundamentals and has dated her through the friends route. This is another trend that I seem to be seeing more and more.

I think Zac has hit it with ambiguity.

SilenceintheSnow

 

[Michal]

From a certain point of view it seems to make sense that if you stop contacting them, they move on super quickly. But when you add value to the mix, it changes things. When one guy is throwing messages each day, every message being worth 1 value/validation, he will be outclassed by a guy who messages once every 2 days where his message is worth 30 value/validation points. Additionally, you need to take into an account potential value she might get by continuing the interaction. In terms of online dating, this comes mainly from your profile. A guy with really cool pictures, hobbies, destinations has potential value of let's say 1 million value points. Same looking guy with 3 pictures, portrait, one shirtless, second with a beer bottle in his hand in a bar might be work 20k value points. It's the same for us, men, how we judge women and continue investing in them. So even if 1 million points guy would send messages worth 2 value points, he might get further with her because she sees the potential there. Or continue messaging, while getting ducked by the 20k points guy because he sends messages worth 80 points. But she might move on quickly.

Point being, what you message and how you are perceived based on your profile matters a lot. Then, there are things outside your control like her mood, when she reads the message, etc.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

michal dude! an other dudes! a like ya concept but a hav a similar issue to snow dude. A dont actually do online dating atm its summit am thinkin bout doing at tha mo so its not ma profile or anything thats helpin this but what impression a make in person when gettin their number. A find a bring a lot of value to the table with me an seem to get a lot of attention an girls chasing hard an kinda feel a put the girls into auto rejection if a dont message daily. Every instance in tha last year when a get a number, set a date up in a few days time if a dont message for a day boom they cancel on tha day. Everytime dude?!?! okay yah maybe they werent that attracted but it seems to be a regular thingg that leaves me wondering why is this happening??

maybe a believe me status is higher than it actually is? maybe ma fundamentals an text game isnt as good as a think it is? but improved fundamentals has got me a lot more attention an numbers an better text game has had me setting up dates within 5 message no issues but as soon as a day goes by without messaging them they all cancel? a get enough intertest from girls when am out an get a lot of compliance an warm receptions when a approach so am at a loss with the flaw in ma game here??

whats even funnier is when a stop seeing a girl or messagin them an a see her with a new dude, they tend to get with very bitch boy beta types that come across more like a gay best friend or jester type guy an a think its hilarious thats what they try to replace me with haha!! it has to be down to attention or that they are willingly easy to commit to them?? am gonna wait til me black eye heels up an get onto online for a little while see how that goes! hav studied oh prys guide!!