- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
- Messages
- 183
Popped this girl's number off of the app "Coffee Meets Bagel", (I use all the apps, Tinder, Okcupid, POF, CMB, Siren etc.), I wouldn't say I'm a master of online dating but I'd say more than 50% of my dates/pulls are from online (and even back when I was running clubs I'd just use the Facebook pull). So obviously I need to work on my actual Daygame/Nightgame opportunistic approaches (which ARE getting better), but in any case this Girl came from CMB.
App Convo:
Me: Hey there Jessica
, how's it goin?
Her: Hey, it's going good. How is your Friday night?
Me: It's great haha just off to meet my buddies on cap hill in a few, what are you up too gorgeous?
Her: Fun fun. I'm not 100% sure yet. I might go to Bellevue later.
Me: Haha sounds like you go to the classy establishments, you know I'd totally love to grab coffee with ya , available Sunday evening?
Her: Iam available after 7
Me: Awesome (then I setup logistics for 7:30 on Sunday and got her number)
Text Convo next day:
(around 1 PM) Me: Hey Jessica, it's trackrunner12 from coffee meets bagel. See ya tonite @ 7 30!
(around 4 PM) Her: Hey is there any chance you would be able to reschedule for Tuesday or wed? Iam not feeling the greatest today
Me: Sure, how's Tuesday @ 8 sound? (I know we don't resched right away but she'd already offered me alternates so....)
(Double text done in rapid succession when I realized I hadn't set the location properly)
Me: And at the same place haha
Her: Yeah sounds good! Thanks!
Tuesday rolls around,
Me: Hey Jessica, still on for tonite?
Her: Yes I will see you tonight
Me: Sweet I'll text ya when I'm omw
Her: Ok sounds good
Around 7:30 I text her: "Headin out"
Her: Ok me too I'm about 30 min out
Me: Dope see ya soon
I don't end up leaving my place for another 10-15 minutes (had to write a contract), leave around 7:45ish
Her: Sorry I took a wrong turn I will be run in a few min late lol
Me: Haha I'm runnin late too no worries
Her: Lol kk
When I get there I don't see her but instead of calling her like I have done in the past I just text her that I'm there by the fire place.
I get a text telling me that she's lost (because she's not from WA state) and I just end up calling her to give her directions to the starbucks.
She walks in to the Starbucks about 10 minutes later (I used to be a stickler for time but now I've realized this portrays neediness) and I'm really pleasantly surprised! Her pictures on the app were pretty attractive but she's waaaay hotter in person (plus she's 2 years older than me, so a plus in my book).
I ask her if she's gonna get anything, and just say that I drank too much coffee at the office already so I won't be, she ends up getting a drink (paying for it herself of course), and I lightly touch her shoulder when she grabs it and say "hey let's go upstairs" (it's a more deserted area and I prefer it for all my dates).
We go upstairs and I start deep diving, but after how bad I did on Monday I really take a step back on the Kino and try to make it in a much more socially calibrated way; so I don't touch her much to start but while I'm deep diving I start to "check out her fingernail painting" or brush her hair back to "see her piercings and tattoos", this seems to be working in a much better way (since I'm still having a hard time reading how into me a girl is/what escalation windows is she giving me etc.)
We stay and chat for like 30 minutes, her doing 60% of the talking me 40% (still trying to push that lower) I was a lot more self-deprecating and less cocky and arrogant this time (but still stood/sat with good fundamentals and I wasn't like... a nice guy or w/e the stories I mentioned still had me as the winner/super confident, I just tried to come off as less douchebaggy and a little more altruistic, since I'm currently having more trouble building comfort and getting a read then "being bold" like a lot of other guys). I also grew out just a bit of stubble since I was going out with an older gal (when she finally asked me how old I was and I told her she didn't believe me and said I carried myself like I was a lot older).
Anyway my disability starts acting up again (been having the flu/really bad cold, so it's a pain on my digestive system as well), I had to use the restroom a couple times during the date, but I nipped this in the butt by talking about my hospital struggles earlier in the date (I don't remember the exact context but it was calibrated in pretty well). Anyway I come back from the bathroom and I pull my chair over and sit next to her (seemed more calibrated because I did this when I came back from away yes?) I didn't do this close enough the first time and it was funny because I just worked with what I had and when the oppurutunity presented itself I moved closer, we kind of hold hands here and there, a little bit of me touching her shoulder/her hair; (again I really went much easier on the Kino since I'm still learning and def creeped out the girl I went out with Monday).
I think this is where I got my first escalation window (we just kind of looked at each other with "that look", and she said "Why are you looking at me like that", this happened a couple more times but I confess I was scared this time, I didn't want to screw up and I moved slower. Perhaps this wasn't an escalation window though, she wasn't leaning in particularily close, and it was short she looked away after a few seconds. Anyway from there I decide to "move her" so I say we should sit by the fire place downstairs, this helps as I can be a little closer to her and I end up having my arm around her (she doesn't exactly curl up, but she doesn't break contact either). Now on the couch I swear I got the same damn glaring escalation window as upstairs, the "Why aren't you kissing me look" but it wasn't an open escalation window for longer than a few seconds and she didn't lean in much, I tested the waters by getting my face closer a couple times, it's hard to explain but I may or may not have missed escalation windows here.
Anyway I deep dive some more, and after about 20 minutes on the couch she says she should get going, I say I will walk her to her car; as we're walking and get about 10 ft from her car, she kind of does the stop and swivel to give me a hug (she even says "hugs?" with a question mark lol", I've already made up my mind at this point so when she leans in I start making out with her, she's a good kisser, everytime I pull away she pulls me back, so I start grabbing her ass a little bit. Some douchebags drive by and yell "SUCK HIS DICK!!!" it was funny but I still flip them off (while kissing her, and not paying any attention). At this point she's staring deep into my eyes and I'm wondering... if I should try to pull here, she had said that she didn't work in the morning (although mentioned she'd had other things to do). I end up not pulling and I say I'll text her (better than when I was making plans to see them again on the date itself).
After the date I didn't text her like I used too saying "I had a great time", I'm trying to get away from that neediness, I waited till today and said: "Hey Jessica, enjoyed our conversation last nite, you're a very intriguing woman
She responded about 3 hours later and said: "Thankyou I had a good time as well"
About 2 hours later I respond and said: Great, what's your weekend look like? Let's go out again saturday nite and keep the ball rollin (haven't heard back yet but I'm not trippin, even if she doesn't end up responding this is just EXP points to me, I'm getting better everytime I do this (and my nervousness around women is going down too!)
Any advice would certainly be appreciated, I def worked on not sounding needy at all as she said when she first came to WA she started going out with a guy and he was kind of a stalker, needy and sent her flowers at work when she had never told him where she worked. Probably should have pushed this interaction farther but... I'm still learning.
App Convo:
Me: Hey there Jessica
, how's it goin?Her: Hey
, it's going good. How is your Friday night?Me: It's great haha just off to meet my buddies on cap hill in a few, what are you up too gorgeous?
Her: Fun fun. I'm not 100% sure yet. I might go to Bellevue later.
Me: Haha sounds like you go to the classy establishments
, you know I'd totally love to grab coffee with ya , available Sunday evening?Her: Iam available after 7
Me: Awesome
(then I setup logistics for 7:30 on Sunday and got her number)Text Convo next day:
(around 1 PM) Me: Hey Jessica
, it's trackrunner12 from coffee meets bagel. See ya tonite @ 7 30!(around 4 PM) Her: Hey
is there any chance you would be able to reschedule for Tuesday or wed? Iam not feeling the greatest todayMe: Sure
, how's Tuesday @ 8 sound? (I know we don't resched right away but she'd already offered me alternates so....)(Double text done in rapid succession when I realized I hadn't set the location properly)
Me: And at the same place haha
Her: Yeah sounds good! Thanks!
Tuesday rolls around,
Me: Hey Jessica
, still on for tonite?Her: Yes I will see you tonight
Me: Sweet I'll text ya when I'm omw
Her: Ok sounds good
Around 7:30 I text her: "Headin out"
Her: Ok me too I'm about 30 min out
Me: Dope see ya soon
I don't end up leaving my place for another 10-15 minutes (had to write a contract), leave around 7:45ish
Her: Sorry I took a wrong turn I will be run in a few min late lol
Me: Haha I'm runnin late too no worries
Her: Lol kk
When I get there I don't see her but instead of calling her like I have done in the past I just text her that I'm there by the fire place.
I get a text telling me that she's lost (because she's not from WA state) and I just end up calling her to give her directions to the starbucks.
She walks in to the Starbucks about 10 minutes later (I used to be a stickler for time but now I've realized this portrays neediness) and I'm really pleasantly surprised! Her pictures on the app were pretty attractive but she's waaaay hotter in person (plus she's 2 years older than me, so a plus in my book).
I ask her if she's gonna get anything, and just say that I drank too much coffee at the office already so I won't be, she ends up getting a drink (paying for it herself of course), and I lightly touch her shoulder when she grabs it and say "hey let's go upstairs" (it's a more deserted area and I prefer it for all my dates).
We go upstairs and I start deep diving, but after how bad I did on Monday I really take a step back on the Kino and try to make it in a much more socially calibrated way; so I don't touch her much to start but while I'm deep diving I start to "check out her fingernail painting" or brush her hair back to "see her piercings and tattoos", this seems to be working in a much better way (since I'm still having a hard time reading how into me a girl is/what escalation windows is she giving me etc.)
We stay and chat for like 30 minutes, her doing 60% of the talking me 40% (still trying to push that lower) I was a lot more self-deprecating and less cocky and arrogant this time (but still stood/sat with good fundamentals and I wasn't like... a nice guy or w/e the stories I mentioned still had me as the winner/super confident, I just tried to come off as less douchebaggy and a little more altruistic, since I'm currently having more trouble building comfort and getting a read then "being bold" like a lot of other guys). I also grew out just a bit of stubble since I was going out with an older gal (when she finally asked me how old I was and I told her she didn't believe me and said I carried myself like I was a lot older).
Anyway my disability starts acting up again (been having the flu/really bad cold, so it's a pain on my digestive system as well), I had to use the restroom a couple times during the date, but I nipped this in the butt by talking about my hospital struggles earlier in the date (I don't remember the exact context but it was calibrated in pretty well). Anyway I come back from the bathroom and I pull my chair over and sit next to her (seemed more calibrated because I did this when I came back from away yes?) I didn't do this close enough the first time and it was funny because I just worked with what I had and when the oppurutunity presented itself I moved closer, we kind of hold hands here and there, a little bit of me touching her shoulder/her hair; (again I really went much easier on the Kino since I'm still learning and def creeped out the girl I went out with Monday).
I think this is where I got my first escalation window (we just kind of looked at each other with "that look", and she said "Why are you looking at me like that
", this happened a couple more times but I confess I was scared this time, I didn't want to screw up and I moved slower. Perhaps this wasn't an escalation window though, she wasn't leaning in particularily close, and it was short she looked away after a few seconds. Anyway from there I decide to "move her" so I say we should sit by the fire place downstairs, this helps as I can be a little closer to her and I end up having my arm around her (she doesn't exactly curl up, but she doesn't break contact either). Now on the couch I swear I got the same damn glaring escalation window as upstairs, the "Why aren't you kissing me look" but it wasn't an open escalation window for longer than a few seconds and she didn't lean in much, I tested the waters by getting my face closer a couple times, it's hard to explain but I may or may not have missed escalation windows here. Anyway I deep dive some more, and after about 20 minutes on the couch she says she should get going, I say I will walk her to her car; as we're walking and get about 10 ft from her car, she kind of does the stop and swivel to give me a hug (she even says "hugs?" with a question mark lol", I've already made up my mind at this point so when she leans in I start making out with her, she's a good kisser, everytime I pull away she pulls me back, so I start grabbing her ass a little bit. Some douchebags drive by and yell "SUCK HIS DICK!!!" it was funny but I still flip them off (while kissing her, and not paying any attention). At this point she's staring deep into my eyes and I'm wondering... if I should try to pull here, she had said that she didn't work in the morning (although mentioned she'd had other things to do). I end up not pulling and I say I'll text her (better than when I was making plans to see them again on the date itself).
After the date I didn't text her like I used too saying "I had a great time", I'm trying to get away from that neediness, I waited till today and said: "Hey Jessica
, enjoyed our conversation last nite, you're a very intriguing womanShe responded about 3 hours later and said: "Thankyou I had a good time as well"
About 2 hours later I respond and said: Great
, what's your weekend look like? Let's go out again saturday nite and keep the ball rollin (haven't heard back yet but I'm not trippin, even if she doesn't end up responding this is just EXP points to me, I'm getting better everytime I do this (and my nervousness around women is going down too!)Any advice would certainly be appreciated, I def worked on not sounding needy at all as she said when she first came to WA she started going out with a guy and he was kind of a stalker, needy and sent her flowers at work when she had never told him where she worked. Probably should have pushed this interaction farther but... I'm still learning.
