FR  Hot Chick, Social Hook, Ditched or Shit test?

omgroflcopter

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
37
Ok coming right out a solo night out and would love some advice on this situation. I'll just describe the night out as it was brief.

I'm visiting Seattle by myself and I go out and I find a strip with a couple bars. I go in grab beer and immediately open a table of four girls. I hook them pretty quick and we begin talking and I sit with them. I think I "overneg" them though as two of them get up to go get drinks and the other two then tell me to go talk to the bartender passively and tell me they are having a girls night. I think I overneg because I use to be so passive and know I'm overcompensating. This is obviously one of those situations that is mentally frustrating but my emotional control is getting pretty good at this point so I know I just need to hop back into it.

Whatever, I go and open some people standing close by just for the hell of it and have a fine conversation with them.

Ok here is the interesting situation. I go to the back of the bar to see what's going on and I see two cute girls by themselves sitting at the bar. I open and ask them what the best thing about the city is because I just got here. My fundamentals are good at opening after months of this hell and my vibe is pretty controlled so they respond receptively. We get to talking about everything and what not, I throw in a bit of nagging but tone it down a bit and use some charm to make some positive assumptions about them to so I don't continually get yelled at. I figure I need to neg more once I'm flirting and have them more hooked. Ok so were talking and one girl is totally my type, she is like an 8.5 maybe a 9. She is totally my type, taller, black hair, pale skin, pretty eyes.

It turns out we both like to hike and we are both in law school so the similarity is there. I end up making some comments to her about how she is flirting with me because she mentions this restaurant "dicks" and how it's like "In and out Burger" or something like that. I don't really know these things but obviously it's a chance to flirt. I tell her she is flirting with me or something. She doesn't really hook to it but I keep it somewhat flirty but perhaps not enough. I grab her hand and touch her ring on her finger at some point. It's a tree so it has to do with hiking. A third friend came up at some point and ended up talking to the other friend so this left me alone with this girl to talk. I took this as an obvious sign that I had the friends approval. Maybe I should have introduced myself to gather more social proof to the third friend. I had talked to the second friend a decent amount at the beginning. Anyway when I had the girl solo the conversation wasn't bad but it got somewhat platonic about what kind of law we wanted to do etc. I teased her a bit about wanting to be a corporate lawyer. She wasn't overly receptive to my nagging or anything. But she wasn't overly receptive of the entire interaction. But I dont think this meant I didn't have a chance. She's just a hot girl and she is going to pretend she is not into me even if she is. Otherwise why would she be talking to me and why would her friends leave me alone to talk to her.

I think my vibe was probably a little off. By vibe I guess I mean my game too. Since I've been doing this I can "feel" what should be done. Not that I know exactly what to do but as I've gotten better I can tell more what feels good, bad, or what would have felt good. I think this is kind of the overall thing that I'm thinking game is. I can see how this is changing my personality and how each individual learning experience changes the substance of how I game and who I am as a person. This was a bit of a tangent but I would love to know if this is somewhat near the mark of how advanced guys learned and think about game.

Anyway, after a few minutes just talking to the girl in maybe a bit too platonic way her friends ask her if she wants to do shots. I think I should have smiled a more and pushed a bit more with the flirting even though she was being somewhat cold. She says she would like to do shots. They get up and I say "Aw now I"m all alone". My tone wasn't the best on this and I know the frame is bad please don't beat me into oblivion about it. I should have said it a bit more jokingly but I am solo traveling and they know this so it's somewhat understandable that I'm saying this. As she is walking away she says something like "come take a shot".

This is the part where I am confused. OK.... I have had girls try and get rid of me at night in a zillion different ways at this point. I go out by myself, my vibe is off because I don't like night game, I'm awkward in general, social situations sketch me out, etc. etc. etc. But usually they tell me to get lost like the previous girls in the night. "We're having a girls night", "Go talk to the bartender", "We're going to request a song", "We're gonna go grab a drink" etc. etc. etc. She invited me to go get shots with them.

I didn't follow her because it felt a bit chasey. I sat down where she was sitting and looked for people to talk to but there wasn't many so I just kind of sat there and played it cool went on my phone. I know ideally I should go open more girls and look cool but that wasn't an option. The other people I opened I fucked up with. So I didn't have too much choice.

OK they got there shots and then they went and sat down somewhere else in the bar. The third friend came over and grabbed one of the stools and took it back to them without saying anything to me. One more important caveat is SHE LEFT HER PHONE CASE ON TABLE (The hot girl in question not the third friend). Was this some kind of shit test? In hindsight I think, as I was leaving the bar, I should have walked it over and said "You forgot your phone case" smirked a bit and then just walked away to see if she responded. This is obviously socially cool as I'm doing her a favor, I'm not chasing and then I just leave like I was going to.

Ok wise numenoreans of the forums, was this a shit test or was it just a normal I fucked up in some way or she just wasn't interested. To recap arguments for shit test are:
1. Invited me for shots (Not in an enthusiastic way but not in a completely dismissive way"
2. Similarity in hiking and law school
3. Left her phone case on the table
4. Friends left her alone to talk to me originally
5. She took her jacket off while talking to me

Arguments for I am a man who is incapable of receiving love from a woman:

1. Vibe was more platonic but had elements of flirting
2. When she invited me for a shot it was only after I said I would be left alone
3. She walked away and did not come back after getting her shot
4. Her friends asked her to get a shot which could likely be an escape mechanism to get her out of a conversation with a guy but they did acutllay get a shot so idk.

If you have had experiences like this I would love to know. Any and all wisdom is appreciated and a $1 will be donated to the human fund in your name for each useful piece of advice received.
 
Last edited:

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
So I'm guessing you didn't expand on similarities with the Hiker Law school chick. You both must have been on the same trails. "You ever done any sections of the PCT? I'm knocking out sections one week at a time."

"What has been your favorite law school class so far? I'm really getting into Tort Law."
 

theta14

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 2, 2020
Messages
13
Ok coming right out a solo night out and would love some advice on this situation. I'll just describe the night out as it was brief.

I'm visiting Seattle by myself and I go out and I find a strip with a couple bars. I go in grab beer and immediately open a table of four girls. I hook them pretty quick and we begin talking and I sit with them. I think I "overneg" them though as two of them get up to go get drinks and the other two then tell me to go talk to the bartender passively and tell me they are having a girls night. I think I overneg because I use to be so passive and know I'm overcompensating. This is obviously one of those situations that is mentally frustrating but my emotional control is getting pretty good at this point so I know I just need to hop back into it.

Whatever, I go and open some people standing close by just for the hell of it and have a fine conversation with them.

Ok here is the interesting situation. I go to the back of the bar to see what's going on and I see two cute girls by themselves sitting at the bar. I open and ask them what the best thing about the city is because I just got here. My fundamentals are good at opening after months of this hell and my vibe is pretty controlled so they respond receptively. We get to talking about everything and what not, I throw in a bit of nagging but tone it down a bit and use some charm to make some positive assumptions about them to so I don't continually get yelled at. I figure I need to neg more once I'm flirting and have them more hooked. Ok so were talking and one girl is totally my type, she is like an 8.5 maybe a 9. She is totally my type, taller, black hair, pale skin, pretty eyes.

It turns out we both like to hike and we are both in law school so the similarity is there. I end up making some comments to her about how she is flirting with me because she mentions this restaurant "dicks" and how it's like "In and out Burger" or something like that. I don't really know these things but obviously it's a chance to flirt. I tell her she is flirting with me or something. She doesn't really hook to it but I keep it somewhat flirty but perhaps not enough. I grab her hand and touch her ring on her finger at some point. It's a tree so it has to do with hiking. A third friend came up at some point and ended up talking to the other friend so this left me alone with this girl to talk. I took this as an obvious sign that I had the friends approval. Maybe I should have introduced myself to gather more social proof to the third friend. I had talked to the second friend a decent amount at the beginning. Anyway when I had the girl solo the conversation wasn't bad but it got somewhat platonic about what kind of law we wanted to do etc. I teased her a bit about wanting to be a corporate lawyer. She wasn't overly receptive to my nagging or anything. But she wasn't overly receptive of the entire interaction. But I dont think this meant I didn't have a chance. She's just a hot girl and she is going to pretend she is not into me even if she is. Otherwise why would she be talking to me and why would her friends leave me alone to talk to her.

I think my vibe was probably a little off. By vibe I guess I mean my game too. Since I've been doing this I can "feel" what should be done. Not that I know exactly what to do but as I've gotten better I can tell more what feels good, bad, or what would have felt good. I think this is kind of the overall thing that I'm thinking game is. I can see how this is changing my personality and how each individual learning experience changes the substance of how I game and who I am as a person. This was a bit of a tangent but I would love to know if this is somewhat near the mark of how advanced guys learned and think about game.

Anyway, after a few minutes just talking to the girl in maybe a bit too platonic way her friends ask her if she wants to do shots. I think I should have smiled a more and pushed a bit more with the flirting even though she was being somewhat cold. She says she would like to do shots. They get up and I say "Aw now I"m all alone". My tone wasn't the best on this and I know the frame is bad please don't beat me into oblivion about it. I should have said it a bit more jokingly but I am solo traveling and they know this so it's somewhat understandable that I'm saying this. As she is walking away she says something like "come take a shot".

This is the part where I am confused. OK.... I have had girls try and get rid of me at night in a zillion different ways at this point. I go out by myself, my vibe is off because I don't like night game, I'm awkward in general, social situations sketch me out, etc. etc. etc. But usually they tell me to get lost like the previous girls in the night. "We're having a girls night", "Go talk to the bartender", "We're going to request a song", "We're gonna go grab a drink" etc. etc. etc. She invited me to go get shots with them.

I didn't follow her because it felt a bit chasey. I sat down where she was sitting and looked for people to talk to but there wasn't many so I just kind of sat there and played it cool went on my phone. I know ideally I should go open more girls and look cool but that wasn't an option. The other people I opened I fucked up with. So I didn't have too much choice.

OK they got there shots and then they went and sat down somewhere else in the bar. The third friend came over and grabbed one of the stools and took it back to them without saying anything to me. One more important caveat is SHE LEFT HER PHONE CASE ON TABLE (The hot girl in question not the third friend). Was this some kind of shit test? In hindsight I think, as I was leaving the bar, I should have walked it over and said "You forgot your phone case" smirked a bit and then just walked away to see if she responded. This is obviously socially cool as I'm doing her a favor, I'm not chasing and then I just leave like I was going to.

Ok wise numenoreans of the forums, was this a shit test or was it just a normal I fucked up in some way or she just wasn't interested. To recap arguments for shit test are:
1. Invited me for shots (Not in an enthusiastic way but not in a completely dismissive way"
2. Similarity in hiking and law school
3. Left her phone case on the table
4. Friends left her alone to talk to me originally
5. She took her jacket off while talking to me

Arguments for I am a man who is incapable of receiving love from a woman:

1. Vibe was more platonic but had elements of flirting
2. When she invited me for a shot it was only after I said I would be left alone
3. She walked away and did not come back after getting her shot
4. Her friends asked her to get a shot which could likely be an escape mechanism to get her out of a conversation with a guy but they did acutllay get a shot so idk.

If
I'll give you a taste of my perspective and what I may have done...hopefully it helps!

For the first set with the four girls, I would have looked at that as a warm up since it's a set you immediately opened. Usually the first couple of sets don't have a great outcome so don't beat yourself up too much. You said you negged them too much. What did you specifically say?
Going off of what was written, I would have exited the four set saying "sure have a good night" or jokingly say to them "man the first set is always the toughest". Then walk away with them being completely confused lol.

With the two girls you walked up to in the back of the bar, it sounds like the law girl had some interest in you. Rapport was built with the talk about hiking and law. It sounds like your flirtation could have been better, but she is going to act more reserved and wants to keep the image up that she's not easy due to her looks and the profession she's choosing. She also wants to make sure her friends don't see her sway too easily by a guy she just met.
This is an article for you: https://www.girlschase.com/content/whats-different-when-picking-professional-women

Even though your vibe/flirtation may have been off, she did throw an invite for a shot. You could have accepted the invite, taken the shot, and followed up by jokingly saying "You're just trying to get me drunk" (makes sense since she invited you). Was it just her being polite? the only way to find out is by taking the shot haha. It's best to stay in the interaction as long as possible and push for results!

Instead of saying "aw now I'm all alone" you could have confidently walked with them. If they give you a weird look you say (with eye contact and a cocky attitude) "what, you girls thought I came here to drink alone?" haha

As for the phone case, I'm pretty sure it was left purely by accident, but you could have teased by saying "you guys totally left this over there on purpose didn't you" (frames it as if you're the prize).


4. Her taking her jacket off while talking to you: probably just her getting more comfortable...

Hope that helped!
 

omgroflcopter

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
37
So I'm guessing you didn't expand on similarities with the Hiker Law school chick. You both must have been on the same trails. "You ever done any sections of the PCT? I'm knocking out sections one week at a time."

"What has been your favorite law school class so far? I'm really getting into Tort Law."
I'll give you a taste of my perspective and what I may have done...hopefully it helps!

For the first set with the four girls, I would have looked at that as a warm up since it's a set you immediately opened. Usually the first couple of sets don't have a great outcome so don't beat yourself up too much. You said you negged them too much. What did you specifically say?
Going off of what was written, I would have exited the four set saying "sure have a good night" or jokingly say to them "man the first set is always the toughest". Then walk away with them being completely confused lol.

With the two girls you walked up to in the back of the bar, it sounds like the law girl had some interest in you. Rapport was built with the talk about hiking and law. It sounds like your flirtation could have been better, but she is going to act more reserved and wants to keep the image up that she's not easy due to her looks and the profession she's choosing. She also wants to make sure her friends don't see her sway too easily by a guy she just met.
This is an article for you: https://www.girlschase.com/content/whats-different-when-picking-professional-women

Even though your vibe/flirtation may have been off, she did throw an invite for a shot. You could have accepted the invite, taken the shot, and followed up by jokingly saying "You're just trying to get me drunk" (makes sense since she invited you). Was it just her being polite? the only way to find out is by taking the shot haha. It's best to stay in the interaction as long as possible and push for results!

Instead of saying "aw now I'm all alone" you could have confidently walked with them. If they give you a weird look you say (with eye contact and a cocky attitude) "what, you girls thought I came here to drink alone?" haha

As for the phone case, I'm pretty sure it was left purely by accident, but you could have teased by saying "you guys totally left this over there on purpose didn't you" (frames it as if you're the prize).


4. Her taking her jacket off while talking to you: probably just her getting more comfortable...

Hope that helped!

This was great thank you very much. I think all of this combined with some more deep diving would have made the set the best. Also when she left it was kind of bitchy and I imagine I don't get the bitchy reaction if she wasn't attracted. If she was just being platonic it would have been "Nice to meet you" and then gone. But I agree I should have gone and kept it cool and cocky like that. I often make the assumption that I am a burden and this fucks me over. Thanks again
 
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