Hot Girls: THE difference?

[Estate]

Guys,

So I want to bring this topic up and ask for some input. We're talking about high quality, in demand girls here. Girls with their shit together and a lot going on. These are the girls we REALLY want.

The first advice is to always treat them no differently to anyone else, no pedistils. Makes sense.

But next I read topics (not just talking about GC.com) where I see statements like
"Girls like X... but ESPECIALLY hot girls"
"Girls expect Y... but ESPECIALLY hot girls".

So there is a contradiction. Treat them no differently BUT in the same statement acknowledging that the game IS different for these girls. So what is the "IT"factor to getting these girls.

I brought up a girl I saw lately... very hot, stunning, model, has a strong career going, always busy, lots going on. I felt I played a good game. I wasn't reactive, I wasn't needy. The dates went extremely well. When I have her in my company, I KNOW she had a great time. I'm not overstating it here. I am sure of it.
Yet when I'm NOT with her, she is very aloof, hardly responds to calls/text/anything. But in person... totally different story.

Now the problem here is how to KEEP seeing her. If she is aloof and not really responding in between dates, how do I get to see her again??

I am a decent looking guys, I get lots of compliments on my style (even from this girl), I take care of my body, I'm fit, healthy, have a lot going for me, great career, don't want for anything.
But even if I'm decent looking, I'm not a 10.
Again, I know it's not all about looks but here is what I feel...

When we've met she gets carried away with me, things are great, she is enjoying it and I know it.
Yet once a few days has passed, she cools off again... I'm not a 10 and I'm not her type I guess. She I go from her chasing a few days after the date, to her going cold again and I once again am chasing to see her. Then I'm back to the start and trying to convince her to meet up. It's like she enjoys being with me but at the end of the day, I'm not the "type" she has dated before.

So what is "it". What is the missing link? Hot girls hold themselves and those around them to very high standards. If I'm not the "10", jock type that she is probably used to... what is it that would change her mind or bring her around?
I feel a bit frustrated by it.

 

[Franco]

Estate,

The way I see it, every date that goes by without you sleeping with her just puts you more firmly in the middle of the pack of men that are pursuing her.

So what is "it". What is the missing link? Hot girls hold themselves and those around them to very high standards. If I'm not the "10", jock type that she is probably used to... what is it that would change her mind or bring her around?

Well, what happens when you invite her home? And if she declines, what happens when you invite her directly over to your place the next time you ask her to meet up with you? The "it" factor with most of these women is when they can sense that you're not a guy who wastes his time with women who don't follow your lead because you know there are plenty of other beautiful women that will do so instead. If she can't "feel" that vibe coming from you, then it tells her that you don't have the "it" factor that she is looking for. Every time she goes on a date with you and you don't get sex, it's conveying to her that you don't have any other options in women of her caliber because, if you did, you wouldn't be wasting "sexless" time with her.

The first advice is to always treat them no differently to anyone else, no pedistils. Makes sense.

This needs to be your mantra, and it needs to be conveyed in your body language and your communication with her (even if that means a lack of communication as a form of punishment because she doesn't follow your lead, which can in turn lead her to chase you out of sheer curiosity in your aloof demeanor). She needs to feel like you know your way around top quality women like the back of your hand. If she senses that, then she won't waste your time with games because she knows that you won't let her waste it.

- Franco

 

[Estate]

Franco,
Theres still a missing piece for me.

I dont like posting FRs or LRs but needless to say everything went to plan. After bringing a girl home I've worked on the points Chase lists about how to keep her coming back. For most girls it works like a charm. For very high quality girls though it still goes just like this girl, I see a pattern. The day or two following shes still on a high and heavily invested and letting me know.

As a few days pass, her interest begins to fade again and I have to find a way to boost it back up to see her again... its a common patterns. As "real life" sets it she begins to come back down to earth.

Think of it like this... all your friends drive Ferrari's. Someone offers you a ride in their little Fiat 500. Immediately you are blown away by how quick and nimble and fun it is to drive, you want one. In that moment you have to have one... yet, 2-3 days later you are back with your friends. You know the awesome feeling you had of speeding this little racer around ccorners yet in present company you're thinking "Well, they all have Ferraris, I really should have a Ferrari. I couldnt show up here with 5 Ferarris driving that little thing, what would they say?"

So now enters buyers remorse... after the inital buzz, the guy owning the Fiat now has to pump your tires a little more to convince you, not only did you enjoy the ride, but you really DO want this... so you test drive it again and the whole thing repeats.

If I see most girls, they will come back for more. But this is a solid pattern of 9s & 10s for me. I know it cant all be about looks but is there a limit. As I said, Im decent looking, I have a lot going for me but Im not Brad Pitt at the end of the day and it feels like as much as I can make her look past that in the moment, long term, she cant make herself invest in it.

In terms of the breakdown of the dates, I did write about being nervous in the leadup to the first date but it quickly went away on meeting and no problems here since. Without a full breakdown, I really cant call these dates anything but a major success, even her initial reactions afterwards would back that up.

But with these girls its always about the 2-3 days after where they seem to come back down to earth and need their tires pumped again.

Its very frustrating.

 

[Franco]

Estate,

So now enters buyers remorse...

So just to confirm... you are sleeping with these girls, correct? It seemed like you were inferring that, but it wasn't completely clear from your post. Buyer's remorse is something that settles in after you've slept with a girl quickly.

Think of it like this... all your friends drive Ferrari's. Someone offers you a ride in their little Fiat 500. Immediately you are blown away by how quick and nimble and fun it is to drive, you want one. In that moment you have to have one... yet, 2-3 days later you are back with your friends. You know the awesome feeling you had of speeding this little racer around ccorners yet in present company you're thinking "Well, they all have Ferraris, I really should have a Ferrari. I couldnt show up here with 5 Ferarris driving that little thing, what would they say?"

The problem with this metaphor is that you have this thing in your head where you believe that which car you drive is actually more important than how you drive it. If you were to hop in that Fiat with James Bond and have one of the wildest, most unforgettable rides of your entire life, you won't give a crap about what your friends are driving. You're just going to be thinking over and over again about how mind-blowing the ride was with James Bond in that Fiat, and you're going to crave re-living that experience over and over again. And when you tell your friends how amazing the experience was, they are going to look at their Ferraris and wish that the driver of their Ferraris could put the kind of smile on their face that you had with your driver in the Fiat. It will actually make them intrigued and slightly jealous. All of a sudden, they want to consider going out and driving a Fiat, just to see if they can get the same experience.

Which brings me to my next question: are you giving these women unforgettable experiences in the bedroom? Are you having sex with them multiple times and giving them multiple orgasms leaving them drenched in sweat and body fluids while breathing extremely heavily? When it comes to talking to her friends, she isn't going to talk about which car she just took a ride in -- she's going to talk about how wild the ride was.

And of course, the other thing to take a look at in your interactions is the post-sex interaction. Are you warm, playful, and touchy-feely toward each other after sex? Do you end your experience with her on a high note, with her laughing and smiling as she leaves your living space? This is something that is important to avoiding buyer's remorse as well. She needs to feel that that was an experience you would be willing to give her again, and she needs to feel like she'll actually want it again.

- Franco

 

[Estate]

We'll if I were to elaborate at the most recent girl....

Yes, I do feel I've got down the "experience" and everything afterwards. I few months ago I may have missed some steps which I have corrected. I have girls who are 7s or 8s who after the same thing are dying to meet me right now.

With this girl, we slept together on the 2nd date. After dropping her home she text to say what a great time she had and after some banter, the next day she text at lunchtime "what did you do to me this weekend, I can't stop thinking about it, think I might need a round 2".
While there's always room for improvement, I feel pretty confident she wasn't let down here.

But it the days after she cooled off, same after last time I saw her. And I've got to pump it up again.

In that analogy, that I am saying is, I am like the Fiat to her, but the other guys she has dated are the Ferraris. Yes the experience of the Fiat was amazing in the moment but after a little cooling off, she figures again... "yes, But I'm a ferrari girl, I can't be seen with the Fiat"... bad analogy maybe but tried to think of a way to say it.

Its just frustrating. I know its not ALL looks but while in the moment I'm totally confident she was loving it, she said and acted as much... but later realises again she is a Ferrari girl. Despite the experience, popular perception would be that she'd lower herself to drive a Fiat.

So while in the moment and shortly after, she wants that experience again, she'll still revert to wanting what is perceived as better. If she considers herself a 10 as a model, she needs a guy who also looks a 10.

Where does it all break down? Or am I over reaching?

 

[Jeet02]

Estate,

First of all kudos for pulling in this hot girls, that on itself is pretty good on itself. There is a few things you have to realize though: if she went after you the first time, it is because she is obviously attracted to you. On a physical and emotional level. It is even more physical when you guys start, since she barely knows you, so I really don't think your "physical" looks are the problem. I think the problem is your mentality towards it. You have this fear within you that you are not "good looking enough" even though you try to convince yourself that looks aren't as important (as you kept mentioning it over and over again during the whole posts), but you don't truly believe that and that is where part of the problem lies. Not only that, but you might seem confident about the whole thing, but you obviously aren't to some degree. If YOU are thinking that, then she can definitely feel it as well. She can tell you have this insecurities about your looks, she can SMELL the fear if you will, and that is not attractive at all.

Second, you said she is busy. She has a lot going on for her, therefore she will take a while to reply back. She will take a while to text. You should just be using texts to get her out and that is it, not to build rapport. Just get a few texts out there, to set up your next meet up and boom, let it be. Text her again the day of the meet up to re-confirm and that is it. She will appreciate this for many reasons but specifically because she is a busy girl and she appreciates you giving her her space.

With all of that said, stop worrying. You pulled her in the first time, she obviously loved being with you, believe it. Enjoy it and keep at it. You know you can pull hot girls like this, so if she goes away then guess what? You can pull another 9 or 10 again.

The moment you start fearing you will lose her...is the moment you've lost her.

My two cents...

-Jeet

PS. Sorry if I was a little harsh...I just didn't want to sugar coat it for you.

 

[Estate]

Thanks to both of you... not harsh at all... I have some stuff to think about from all this..

Yeah, on the looks thing, you are right. This particular girl is definitely drop dead gorgeeous and even if I try to not let it show around her, there's a tiny part of me thinking inside "holy crap, how did I pulll this off?"

In general I've got past all that, I'm not being vein but I'm pretty good looking,I get compliments but I'm no male model so getting that top percentile of girls looks wise is still a little culture shock for me... there's prob things I need to perfect.

I feel like with 90% of girls I'm doing great but still a little thrown off when a girl is really top of the chain in the looks department.
Of course, looks aren't a big thing, I've proven that to myself but you know... we're all human so these things are always in the back of your mind. Outwardly I feel she hasn't seen any insecurity, I've reallly moved past all that since I've been meeting better and better women lately but always things to continue to work on.

Thanks guys.

 

[Jeet02]

Oh trust me, I am sure it isn't easy...specially when she is drop dead gorgeous. I think that's one of the things us men don't understand sometimes, is that they actually dont care as much about looks as we do. Yes, it definitely helps, dont get me wrong. But they truly dont care about it as much as we do.

And you might think you are not showing it, but if the insecurity is in the back of your mind, then trust me, she can pick up on it one way or another, even if it is subconsciously as well. But you are doing pretty good as it is. So dont worry, you are ahead of 95% of us anyway so! We always have stuff to work on, so that's good that you can acknowledge it.

Cheers,
Jeet