How Are You a Consistent Ace? Yes, YOU.

[lebronjames]

I've been following some PUA forums for a few years now - and I've just reached a point of frustration so much so that it's pissed me off enough to make this post.

This post is about how I've hit yet another wall which I created, and it's due to me getting cocky or forgetting to mind the posts on GC, and forgetting some of the principles on how to get laid. My inconsistency to be at the top of my game in terms of seduction is why this post exists.
-Do you read this forum everyday?
-Do you stay committed to field testing everyday?
-Do you hang out with other PUAs? (Definitely interested in meeting some of the veterans)

Why am I frustrated?
First off, I'm a pretty good PUA - only for getting a date. It seems that every time I'm in a situation where I meet new people (like a new class, new girl at work, new social circle, etc.), I have some cute girl heavily investing in me. Recently at work (which is quite an acceptable place for hooking up to occur), I had a situation where a girl invested in me so greatly and so quickly, that I didn't even take her seriously although I really might've liked her. She went into auto-rejection, I felt like there was no way she could not be into me after the investment she showed me - and I gave myself a one way ticket to the friendzone. This is a problem I consistently have where a girl invests in me very quickly and heavily, and soon thereafter, I find myself saying, "Pft, she wants me so bad." And then i miss my window.

It seems that once every year, I hit a wall so hard - one that I could've avoided - one that I had an answer to but didn't pay attention to the problems - that I fuck up, and then I get back on these forums and read up for a couple of months until I become so competent, get cocky and then stop reading the forums and then I throw myself in the friendzone for some girl that came along, I had a chance with, but fucked up so badly. A perfect example of this is that you could click my username, look at my posts and see that I had a similar problem with auto-rejection almost a year ago. I consistently throw myself into the pit with amazingly sexy girls and that's what's most frustrating.

So my question remains - How do all you guys stay so competent in the world of seduction? How can I meet other competent seducers in my area?

 

[Mr.Rob]

First off, I'm a pretty good PUA - only for getting a date.

What does this mean? If you're good at seducing women then you're getting laid on a regular basis, not getting dates.

To answer your frustration regarding missing escalation windows here is the solution...

Start moving fast with every girl you are flirting with and even if there's not a wide open hot escalation window go for the move, close, or pull anyway. Get trained up to where this is normal/easy and then when you get the girls that are super into you you'll have no issues wondering if you should pull and it'll be an afterthought.

How do all you guys stay so competent in the world of seduction?

I'm not going to say I'm most competent but the key is consistency and humility. Humility being that there is always another level to achieve, you're not that good really, and you're never finished learning.

Go out very regularly and never think to yourself that you are good or have reached this highest level. As soon as you think you're the shit your competition is already passing you and laughing.

 

[lebronjames]

First off, I'm a pretty good PUA - only for getting a date.

What does this mean? If you're good at seducing women then you're getting laid on a regular basis, not getting dates.

To answer your frustration regarding missing escalation windows here is the solution...

Start moving fast with every girl you are flirting with and even if there's not a wide open hot escalation window go for the move, close, or pull anyway. Get trained up to where this is normal/easy and then when you get the girls that are super into you you'll have no issues wondering if you should pull and it'll be an afterthought.

How do all you guys stay so competent in the world of seduction?

I'm not going to say I'm most competent but the key is consistency and humility. Humility being that there is always another level to achieve, you're not that good really, and you're never finished learning.

Go out very regularly and never think to yourself that you are good or have reached this highest level. As soon as you think you're the shit your competition is already passing you and laughing.

Can you expand on the move, close or pull are?

 

[JimmyB]

Lebron, you say that

once every year, I hit a wall so hard - one that I could've avoided

First off, that's a good thing provided you're willing to keep going. We learn through the process of failing and learning what NOT to do. If you keep having the problem of having a girl really like you and you not escalating, I'll agree with what Mr. Rob said. Just go for the kiss or move or take her somewhere and escalate. Whatever it is, just make something happen. I'm sure it won't work out plenty of times, but through the process you'll learn to read when you can successfully escalate, and when to slow down. You need to push yourself to get used to these situations.

Can you expand on the move, close or pull are?

If you get a girl in a situation where she's really into you and you're having a good time, just go in for a kiss. Doesn't really matter when, preferably somewhere more private, but just get it out of the way. You'll realize she's much more willing to escalate things than you might have thought.
You need to realize what your goal is with these girls - it sounds like you want to hook up with them, so you need to go for the hookup.
If you want to just be friends with the girl, stick to being friends. Don't go the friendly route then try to hook up with a girl. That might be how you're getting friend zoned.

 

[lebronjames]

If you want to just be friends with the girl, stick to being friends. Don't go the friendly route then try to hook up with a girl. That might be how you're getting friend zoned.

That's the thing - I really never go the friend route. Something similar with a lot of the auto-rejection cases I get with girls is that they come onto me so strongly, that I feel like I'm dating down.

For example, I will lay out some of the details of this past fluke I had with this girl at work.

At first, I wasn't interested - I didn't like her look, didn't like her mannerisms at least initially, she was cold, etc. She's an HB9 undoubtedly, but still not my type (she's very ghetto, i'm the opposite). Within two weeks of creating attraction for the purpose of social proof and preselection, she starting doing subtle things to gain my attention. She would do things to make my life easier like having things prepared for me. I used those things to put her in a chase frame and next thing you know, there was a time where I was going to be forced to work a shift with her and she wore more makeup than anyone's ever seen her with. I noticed, and called her out on it - she was embarrassed. She started doing more and more small things to gain my attention and because I was so mysterious to her and attraction was high, she started chasing. Although I was second-guessing whether I really wanted to make things happen with this girl (because she had chased without saving face), I asked her to go for a drink and that weekend we went out. When we got back in my car, I didn't say anything, looked at her, grabbed her face and went to kiss her. She pulled away.

 

[lebronjames]

Something doesn't add up here. Sounds to me like your evaluation of the situation is off. Or you fumble your interaction when you start committing to it. It's not pure auto rejection, something happens to make these girls pull away if you are getting rejected from escalating.

Radeng

Well, I dubbed it as auto-rejection because although I had asked her out, I had done many things to let her know that I wasn't into her as much as she was me. I was still cold and aloof with her and she would text me all the time just to have a conversation. I'd either tell her I'd see her another time or let the conversations die. She couldn't get me to do anything she wanted and I mentioned it to her that we should keep it between us because 1) it's nobody's business and 2) it's always more fun that way. She later on said that I was hiding something or lying. I'm assuming it's because I maintained being too mysterious. That's why I dubbed it as auto-rejection. I thought that she probably felt like there was no way that she could really have me as more than anything but a sex partner - and I kind of gave her the vibes to go with it too.

 

[JimmyB]

If you're not into her, if she's not your type it's going to be forced. You'll feel it and she'll feel it. Attractiveness is a subjective thing. If a girl isn't really "your type" but you say

She's an HB9 undoubtedly

Well who's the judge of that? You are. She's either really attractive in your book or she's not.
You encounter lots of women from day to day and it's your choice how they fit into your life.
You choose to place girls in different categories - some are platonic friends (probably uglier nice girls), some are girls that you tease around with because you know they're into you, but are not your type, (think Miss Moneypenny and James Bond, classic example) some are girls you just want to have sex with and never see again, and some are girls you're into and would want to get to know, sleep with, and then continue some sort of relationship with. You decide who goes into all of these. If a girl is into you, that's not a reason to try to escalate things if you aren't into her. It's a good thing to have standards and traits you look for, and if a girl doesn't meet those for a lay, then go ahead and be flirty with her and let her do nice things for you and wear makeup to look nice for you, but then don't escalate things with her.

 

[lebronjames]

If you're not into her, if she's not your type it's going to be forced. You'll feel it and she'll feel it. Attractiveness is a subjective thing. If a girl isn't really "your type" but you say

She's an HB9 undoubtedly

Well who's the judge of that? You are. She's either really attractive in your book or she's not.
You encounter lots of women from day to day and it's your choice how they fit into your life.
You choose to place girls in different categories - some are platonic friends (probably uglier nice girls), some are girls that you tease around with because you know they're into you, but are not your type, (think Miss Moneypenny and James Bond, classic example) some are girls you just want to have sex with and never see again, and some are girls you're into and would want to get to know, sleep with, and then continue some sort of relationship with. You decide who goes into all of these. If a girl is into you, that's not a reason to try to escalate things if you aren't into her. It's a good thing to have standards and traits you look for, and if a girl doesn't meet those for a lay, then go ahead and be flirty with her and let her do nice things for you and wear makeup to look nice for you, but then don't escalate things with her.

Well, she's a very beautiful girl without a doubt. But, what I mean by not my type is that she's also ghetto and I'm absolutely not and for that, I didn't think anything could come to fruition between us except for a bunch of sex. But, I wasn't going to put my best foot forward like she wanted me to because as I said before, I went into it thinking nothing would come out of it long term. She probably felt that.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

LJ,

Following up on what radeng said there is something wrong with the frame. You are cool to the girl because you are not sure you are into her then all of a sudden you go for a kiss. Her reaction is going to be shock. You are not being consistent. You went from being distant to dominate instantly. You need to get into your own head where you want this to go with the girl and then follow that frame. In this case she was chasing you. You need to set the escalation so that she is the one chasing you still. Give her indications that it is ok to escalate. This is harder to do because you have to be subtle. You would have needed to do things like start with light touching. Let her touch you more. Then progress to getting closer but let her finish the lean in for the kiss.

It is tough to decide what to do with attractive women who show interest but you yourself are not that attracted to her. I am like I should want to do this gal because everyone thinks she is hot but she doesn't do it for me. I could sleep with her because it would elevate my social status with my buddies. Or I can next her. Or I could fuck her because I am horny. It is best upfront to decide how to play it so you can set your frame with her.

SGent

 

[lebronjames]

LJ,

Following up on what radeng said there is something wrong with the frame. You are cool to the girl because you are not sure you are into her then all of a sudden you go for a kiss. Her reaction is going to be shock. You are not being consistent. You went from being distant to dominate instantly. You need to get into your own head where you want this to go with the girl and then follow that frame. In this case she was chasing you. You need to set the escalation so that she is the one chasing you still. Give her indications that it is ok to escalate. This is harder to do because you have to be subtle. You would have needed to do things like start with light touching. Let her touch you more. Then progress to getting closer but let her finish the lean in for the kiss.

It is tough to decide what to do with attractive women who show interest but you yourself are not that attracted to her. I am like I should want to do this gal because everyone thinks she is hot but she doesn't do it for me. I could sleep with her because it would elevate my social status with my buddies. Or I can next her. Or I could fuck her because I am horny. It is best upfront to decide how to play it so you can set your frame with her.

SGent

This post really clicks. Actually, she was being very pissy one day with one of our coworkers and I asked what was up between them (unassuming that she may know something's up between us). Somehow, the conversation with my coworker arose that she knew HB9 and I were hanging out and she said that the HB9 liked me for sure. I said I know bla bla bla but long story short, our coworker said I'm very inconsistent with her too. I knew I was being indecisive, and that makes sense as to why she was shocked that I went to kiss her and then she suddenly increased the volume of her texting, expecting more investment from me (although I still remained aloof). Making a lot of sense now.

Anyway, back on topic, how do you guys keep your game at the top of its level? Furthermore, I need work on all aspects of my game. Can anyone suggest an article for me so I can better my process? I need to know everything from attraction to the date to the lmr to the lay. As my first post says, I can get a date. If I fuck down, it doesn't matter how the date goes. Otherwise, I am consistently getting girls attracted up until the date.

 

[lebronjames]

Yes I think sgent put it very well.

Sounds like you're in a good position tho and garnering lots of attraction and just not knowing how to move forward on it.

Partly it takes practice, and I'd hesitate to view yourself as a player until you can capitalize on it. It seems like you probably have a good personality and are good looking to keep girls attracted for long periods of time as it seems.

I would look into deep diving and text game articles. I think you probably have sexy edgy and aloofness down pretty well. You need to learn how to start asking for compliance and work on your flirting. basically, if you can set up a hang out, you need to show her that you're a real person and be mysterious and get her taking about herself. Slowly increase the touching throughout the night and then invite her home. Simple as that. Sounds like your in a pretty good position tho and once you start making yourself take action with these girls you won't have much trouble.

As sgent said, you can't shock girls you have to slowly build up to the point where they are comfortable going home with you and then escalating.

Radeng

Haha, I don't mean to sound that cocky. It's just that every so often, I stop reading the forum and updating my skill set and then I find myself in a predicament where I could've, should've and would've and I fall into the traps that I grew up with (being nice, liked, provider, etc.) That's why I want to find a way to consistently get better. Every year or two where I'm consistently improving my game, I reach a point where I can get what I want, start getting more selective, get bored or something and then I forget all about seduction and revert back to my old ways - which has just happened.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

LB,

I went back and read your previous post. I am glad you want to improve. The way to be on the top of your game is to assume you are never on the top of your game. Read, learn, practice, and implement on a regular basis. The only way I would ever feel I was on the top of my game is if I could walk up to Margot Robbie and bed her in 10 minutes. At that point I might just die as my life is complete. No wait I change that to both Margot Robbie and Rihanna together. No, No what about... See what I mean. Never at the top of your game.

SGent

 

[lebronjames]

LB,

I went back and read your previous post. I am glad you want to improve. The way to be on the top of your game is to assume you are never on the top of your game. Read, learn, practice, and implement on a regular basis. The only way I would ever feel I was on the top of my game is if I could walk up to Margot Robbie and bed her in 10 minutes. At that point I might just die as my life is complete. No wait I change that to both Margot Robbie and Rihanna together. No, No what about... See what I mean. Never at the top of your game.

SGent

I don't mean competent to mean perfected. I mean competent as in you're able to handle any situation that the woman throws at you. I find that when I'm at the top of my game, even things I haven't read up on come to me naturally. I understand the psychology behind the persistence you guys have to keep getting better, but do you guys do anything extra besides read on the forums and implement? How do you go about getting the best out of your game?

Just another note - back to this girl: after i asked her to meet (about the fourth time after she went into auto-rejection), she responded with the usual BS saying that, 'she thinks she's more interested in being friends.' She had worded it that way exactly. I'm 100% fine on forgetting about her completely, but I want to protect my reputation at the workplace. I'm 100% sure we don't get together - but I don't want to lose my value amongst other females in the workplace. What can I do to change her perception of my value - regardless of what she thinks about my character. I responded saying that that's not how I see her, and we won't be just friends.

My plan is to be indifferent about it, not give her much acknowledgement nor ignore her completely - showing that I could care less if she's not in my life.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

I don't mean competent to mean perfected. I mean competent as in you're able to handle any situation that the woman throws at you.

Seriously? You will never be able to handle all situations women throw at you. Chase and the guys have done a great job of reducing the uncertainty of women but still they are women and there are millions of them.

There is no magic pill. It boils down to hard work. Again read, learn, practice, and implement on a regular basis.

 

[lebronjames]

I don't mean competent to mean perfected. I mean competent as in you're able to handle any situation that the woman throws at you.

Seriously? You will never be able to handle all situations women throw at you. Chase and the guys have done a great job of reducing the uncertainty of women but still they are women and there are millions of them.

There is no magic pill. It boils down to hard work. Again read, learn, practice, and implement on a regular basis.

You're taking it to another level. I mean handle any situation as in have the ability to consistently pull of being a sexy man at the end of the day. I understand we will drown in tests with women until the day we die, but what I mean by competent - again - is not to be perfect. What competent means to me is to be able to assess a situation, make the right choices and get a satisfactory result. Not a perfect result every time.

 

[lebronjames]

Lebron,

I think it was a bad call to say you aren't friends. I mean, you never had sex with her right?

A high value guy just wouldn't care at all,

True True True. True as fuck.

As you said radeng, I enjoy these moments because they ground me, bring me back into focus. But, they're also moments when I'm bothered by how stupid I feel making the mistakes I had. The good with the bad.