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Long-Term  How can I back pedal here

Alexander

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 28, 2015
Messages
16
Hey all, think I grenaded my relationship but I need to back pedal things here. They say hindsight is 20/20 and I realized I got lost in a passion trap. I am “one down” technically, I’ll straight up humble myself here to give light to proper advise. I was chasing, building the relationship on my own etc. She’d get jealous with other girls in my life or when I acted aloof and that’s what really built her investment. Been dating for 1 year and exchange I love you’d but I am certainly “one down”

The past few weeks it’s been largely me carrying convos and this past week she went on a trip to see her family. The past 3 days I unraveled, no text updates from her so I’d call around 9pm and we would just catch up about the day. Short 15min logistical conversation it felt like.

last night I said “hey I’m looking forward to seeing you when you get back”, no reciprocation with that or an “I miss you”. She isn’t big on verbal affirmations but I’ve been using that as cognitive dissonance that she’s been happy with me (hindsight 20/20).

It gets worse. After the call I was feeling a way about it all and just texted “hey can you call when you can, been feeling a way and I I’d prefer to just talk to you rather than stew on it” , she said she can talk on her way home this afternoon.

other than backing off, which I clearly can no longer do how can I play this? Clearly I need more options and bigger abundance to get her off the pedestal but I somewhat need a short term turn around.

thoughts?
Tl:dr: I figuratively cucked myself and need the power back to actually lead a relationship
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,533
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers
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