How do guys in college get dates? (Americans plz)

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I go to college in the US and most of the times when I am out to say restaurants or movies, I usually just go out alone which I have read can send off wrong messages to girls that may see me in class (that im lonely, struggle to make friends, etc.). Now I am a 21 year old virgin too as sad as that may sound.

Now what I don't get is how is it that most of these college guys get girls to go out on dates with them? Are these guys asking the girls out directly or what? How are these guys managing to get girls out on dates with them?

 

[Thinkingenigma]

Most college girls don't date. They "hang out", and if something "just happens" while they're hanging out, then it happens. College is one big social circle game, and if you want to see results, you need to be able to roll out with a crew, regardless of whether girls are with you. Even if it's just a bunch of guys, they give you social proof, but more importantly, they give you support. If they're a good group of guys, they'll encourage you to split off from the group and pick up that cute waitress at the restaurant or bar. They'll encourage you to ask out Sarah from the theater department. They'll support you when you inevitably get rejected, then you guys will, as a group, go do something profoundly stupid that you can only get away with in college, lol.

If you want to get with a girl at your college, as cliche as it sounds, the best thing I've found is to grab a meal with her, then invite her back to your dorm for drinks and a movie. The idea is to give her an excuse to come to your dorm before you escalate, so feel free to substitute any reason you want as long as it's a good one and you communicate the subtext that you intend to fuck her. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT use the dinner and a movie routine in any situation after college. This only works in school because of the casual atmosphere. Later, it just comes across as boring. The only reason I recommend it here is because it's simple and easy to follow.

 

[StoicMind]

I'm going to college in the fall but I've hung out on the campus a lot, been to parties, and been with some college girls. I'm predominantly an introvert and I like to be alone you just need to communicate that you are alone out of preference not because you have a choice. For instance, if you go to a Starbucks by yourself don't get you drink and sit down closed off to the world; get your drink banter a bit with the person serving your drink, say hello and smile to everyone they meets your eye contact. When you sit down maintain open body language make sure you exude confidence and your fundamentals are on point people will look at you and be intrigued. I would avoid going to the movies by yourself unless you got the confidence game down pact and able to communicate complete self satisfaction. I've seen people at the movies by themselves and a lot of times they look around and watch everyone else have fun, they're fidgety, and unsure this communicates loneliness. But if you go by yourself be completely satisfied and social groups will envy you, because people in social groups a lot of times are constantly trying to fit in, to see someone being free by themselves amazing to them. In class make sure you are social contribute to the lecture speak with conviction and confidence what will make people think that you are lonely is being timorous and quiet. If you show that you are socially calibrated girls won't think that you are that loser loner that jacks off every night and cant make friends, but will think that you are the cool loner the guy who is mysterious yet inviting. As far as meeting girls just go and talk to them whether your alone or not a woman will see you as higher value because of it, after you've opened her and got her number get her to your dorm ASAP, and escalate from there.

Most guys get dates through their social circle, which is cool or through classes, but being able to cold approach any girl is a superior method it give's you a lot more options. The dangers of operating only through a certain social circle is having a reputation (bad) attached to you, being intermixed with drama, having other guys in the social group resent and envy you. It's really not hard to get a date in college most girls want to have fun have an adventure and experiment if you can speak to this conscious/subconscious desire you're golden. All of this is just from my personal experience and observations like I said I'm not even in college yet not until the 21 of this month anyways.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Most college girls don't date. They "hang out", and if something "just happens" while they're hanging out, then it happens. College is one big social circle game, and if you want to see results, you need to be able to roll out with a crew, regardless of whether girls are with you. Even if it's just a bunch of guys, they give you social proof, but more importantly, they give you support. If they're a good group of guys, they'll encourage you to split off from the group and pick up that cute waitress at the restaurant or bar. They'll encourage you to ask out Sarah from the theater department. They'll support you when you inevitably get rejected, then you guys will, as a group, go do something profoundly stupid that you can only get away with in college, lol.

If you want to get with a girl at your college, as cliche as it sounds, the best thing I've found is to grab a meal with her, then invite her back to your dorm for drinks and a movie. The idea is to give her an excuse to come to your dorm before you escalate, so feel free to substitute any reason you want as long as it's a good one and you communicate the subtext that you intend to fuck her. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT use the dinner and a movie routine in any situation after college. This only works in school because of the casual atmosphere. Later, it just comes across as boring. The only reason I recommend it here is because it's simple and easy to follow.

Thanks man but I find the crew part hard to get. It seems like most of these guys who are in that crew are usually frat boys or something of the sort. That said, I think instead of focusing on getting girls, I am going to focus on making friends with a large variety of guys.

 

[Thinkingenigma]

Most college girls don't date. They "hang out", and if something "just happens" while they're hanging out, then it happens. College is one big social circle game, and if you want to see results, you need to be able to roll out with a crew, regardless of whether girls are with you. Even if it's just a bunch of guys, they give you social proof, but more importantly, they give you support. If they're a good group of guys, they'll encourage you to split off from the group and pick up that cute waitress at the restaurant or bar. They'll encourage you to ask out Sarah from the theater department. They'll support you when you inevitably get rejected, then you guys will, as a group, go do something profoundly stupid that you can only get away with in college, lol.

If you want to get with a girl at your college, as cliche as it sounds, the best thing I've found is to grab a meal with her, then invite her back to your dorm for drinks and a movie. The idea is to give her an excuse to come to your dorm before you escalate, so feel free to substitute any reason you want as long as it's a good one and you communicate the subtext that you intend to fuck her. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT use the dinner and a movie routine in any situation after college. This only works in school because of the casual atmosphere. Later, it just comes across as boring. The only reason I recommend it here is because it's simple and easy to follow.

Thanks man but I find the crew part hard to get. It seems like most of these guys who are in that crew are usually frat boys or something of the sort. That said, I think instead of focusing on getting girls, I am going to focus on making friends with a large variety of guys.

That's probably a good idea. Ideally, you should be able to put your own crew of guys together. I realize that that not every guy can do this, but you should at least attempt to do that or otherwise find a way to get your social needs met. I personally bounce around between a bunch of different social groups, but that's mainly because I have more time than a lot of people due to my major, and can hang with one group, then move to a different group when they all go to class or have homework. It works out for me, and it means that if I ever need to get a group together for a project, I have a ton of people I can call on.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Thanks.

I am struggling with getting the group together though. It is like I can make friends and get their numbers but I cannot get them to go places with me or even hang out with me.

 

[fsc]

From what I see, a lot of connections are formed during freshman year--during the new student orientation, their first year living in the dorms, and classes. Afterwards it seems like people generally stick with the same group of people, more or less, because that's what is most comfortable for a lot of people. Almost all new additions are from subsequent classes, clubs, extended social circle, and parties.

So I'd say your best bet would be to sit in courses that has a lot of hot girls, join clubs, visit your local bars, and provide value to the friends you make so that they feel like inviting you to parties. Furthermore, depending on how your campis is set up, you can try cold approaching in dining halls and stidy lounges.

Good luck

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Yes, I had to change schools so that means I didn't meet these people during my freshman year and it is killing me socially. The few times I have gone out to bars I have always gone out alone. Due to PUA I am more social than your average person but it has not helped me at all. Most of the times I find that I might meet a group of people and it may even seem like we are friends at first but I am never really a part of their group. It has become frustrating and what is worse is that it seems like once you are out of college, people have already made their life long friends and social groups and already settled down as well. I not only lacked the opportunities but due to strict foreign parents I had them taken away from me, this type of stuff really screws with my head sometimes.

 

[fsc]

Hmm, what is your mentality when you go out?

Is your mentality something like "This kinda sucks that I am going out alone right now. Why did I have to change schools man? This fucking sucks. The girls might think I'm a socially retarded loner. Fuck. I hope there's a cool group that I can appear to be a part of..."
Or is it more along the lines of "I am a motherfucking beast. I am Altair. I have accomplished this and that because I am a motherfucking beast. Let's see if there's a girl tonight who will respond well to my beastness. If not, fuck it. I'll focus on making friends then, and I'll try again another day. I am the most badass group here, a group of one. All these mofos wanna join MY group because I am a motherfucking beast."

If your mindset is similar to the latter, then I honestly believe that you're simply in a bad "dip" in your social life right now. I was a virgin until I was 19.5, and I am a transfer student who started his junior year of university at the age of 22 in 2012. I had my first sex with a girl outside of my social circle in 2013, 4 months after discovering GC. I had no close friends for a full year after transferring. I joined a frat, which has definitely helped, so you can try looking into that. I made my first group of close friends (they do not attend my university) in the fall of 2013. I was definitely in the second mindset. At like 3 in the morning, I went to the gas station alone like a motherfucking beast because I was hungry like a beast. I ran into these 4 guys there, who were also hungry, and I realized gas station snacks wouldn't suffice. We chatted for a bit, non-deep dive banter. Actually, I made fun of one of them because he had his button-up shirt buttoned all the way up. I told him he looked like a little kid. After bantering, I suggested eating at Denny's down the street because it's open 24 hours. They followed. We ate. I deep dived them at Denny's and found out the guy I made fun of and another guy in the group were rappers. They're just starting out, but they've actually produced 3 quite good singles so far. Even then, my mentality wasn't like "OMG these guys are awesome. What do I have to do to become a part of the crew?" Nope. I stayed a motherfucking beast. I kept being a deep diving conversationalist, discussed women (kinda showed value as a seducer), and invited them to my frat's parties. Since then, those guys and I have become real close friends. We made it a tradition to go to Denny's after my frat's parties, three of those guys and I frequently go day gaming together, and I help one of them with gaming--specifically texting. I met another dude just about 3 weeks ago. He was an incoming transfer to my university, and he posted on the school's transfers' Facebook group looking to make friends and for things to do because he just moved from out of state. I invited him out to go day gaming with the "Denny's group" and me, he actually turned out to be pretty good at it, and now he is part of the group and one of my closest friends.

My mentality was "I am a motherfucking beast. Let me get to know these guys. Let me take these guys under my wing--not as an asshole who thinks he's superior but as a true leader who builds them up. Let's see what I can learn from them. Let's see what I can offer, so that they may become motherfucking beasts like me." On a side note, I said "motherfucking beast" a lot in my reply which turned out to be a small autobiographical essay, and it may have come across as douchey, but I'm in no way douchey. I try to be like the "true gentleman" that Chase talked about in one of his articles. I just used "motherfucking beast" a lot because I felt like it.

If your mindset is similar to the first, then try to adopt more into the second example.

So anyway, stay optimistic, and be a motherfucking beast.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I have always wanted to join a fraternity, it has been a deep desire of mines but the circumstances do not permit it. My school is very big on Greek Life and takes it way more seriously than other universities do. I am also far along in college (heading into my last year or so, maybe less) so at this point I doubt they would even let me. All along in life I just wanted to be a part of something, to feel like I am a part of a cool group of people but I never got that chance. I was homeschooled and had strict foreign parents who allowed me little to no chance of a social interaction and I never really learned much about girls. Now at almost 21 I feel like I have so much ground to make up that I am just fucked and by the time I get it together, it will be too late.

TBH, I feel really depressed over it right now, almost hopeless...

 

[fsc]

You can start off by joining clubs, other groups/organizations, intramural sports teams, meetup.com groups, etc. Don't worry about your age. I'm a 24 year old in a frat full of 18-20 year olds. I rushed when I was 22. The cool people won't care.

Focus more on having fun. Don't get locked in the mindset of "I really want to be a part of a group. How can I become a part of this group?" Don't give a shit about what people think and just have fun. I'm not saying be a jolly jester full of jokes--I am saying relax and enjoy yourself and the moment. Be a conversationalist, be charming, and make others feel good.

I got my first real girlfriend at age 19, and lost my virginity half a year later. I had no idea what to do with girls at that point. I got her because I had a feeling she liked me, and I just grabbed my balls and expressed how I felt. Age 23 was when I discovered GC and started breaking out of my shell. I LITERALLY could NOT talk to girls before that point. I joined my frat to break out of my shell, but even then I couldn't. I actually avoided a number of parties and sorority events because I had no idea what to do with women. It has been almost a year since I found this site, and things are a little different now =]

You're not hopeless brah. We just started late. You'll do fine as long as you put the effort and time into it. If you're near Los Angeles, we'll hang out.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

How are you able to join a fraternity at your age? I am 21 and I feel that it is too late simply because I am almost done with college. I also know that it means a lot on a college campus where social proof seems to be everything. At this point I am like "what do I do?", I seem to be having no success at all and keep running into brick walls.

 

[fsc]

How are you able to join a fraternity at your age?

I am a motherfucking beast.

I am 21 and I feel that it is too late simply because I am almost done with college.

I am 24, and I have 4 quarters left. Do I feel like it's too late? No. Four of my closest friends who are great with women are 22-24 years old with one or two years left as undergrads. Do they think it's too late for them? No.

I also know that it means a lot on a college campus where social proof seems to be everything. At this point I am like "what do I do?", I seem to be having no success at all and keep running into brick walls.

It means a lot, but it's not everything. FYI, I'm in an engineering fraternity at a university that has a really stereotypical, superficial, high-school-like greek life. So I clearly and severely damaged my social proof. Do I feel blocked by a brick wall? No.

It seems to me like 95% of those brick walls are created by you. "I needed to start young", "it's too late", "I grew up with no social interaction", "I never really learned much about girls", "it is too late simply because I am almost done with college". I grew up with little social interaction, and no one ever taught me what to do with girls until I found this site at age 23.5, like I mentioned earlier. FYI, I plan on gaming college girls even after I'm done with school, and plenty of others start late. The biggest reason why you're having no success is your negative mentality. YOU are making things seem worse than it really is, and you're causing your own failure.

Learn to be positive. Learn to laugh and have fun. Learn how to be NOT serious. Dance in the middle of the street and put a traffic cone on your head in front of a crowded In N Out (watch out for cops though because you prolly could get arrested--the cop who stopped me happened to be chill). Also keep in mind that it takes time. Picking up girls isn't easy. I didn't really do anything last week, but for the two weeks before that, I probably day gamed and bar gamed for about 40 hours. All I got were like 15 numbers, 2 dates, and a kiss. I for sure could've had a LR or two, but I'm a bit too stubborn and I refuse to lower my standards--I always go for the hot girls. It takes time and a shitload of failures before you get anywhere. Expect a lot more failures if you're stubborn like me and aim for a smaller subset of girls. Expect ONLY failures if you don't change your mindset.