How do I let a girl know exactly what I want that night

[randy__bobandy]

So this past weekend my apartment-mates and I had a party, and I slept with a girl who is sort of in my social circle. I'm not buddy buddy with her, but I know her well enough. This weekend, I'll be going to my friend's 21st birthday party at his apartment, which she will be attending.

How can I tell her that after the party, I want to take her back to my place? Is it better to say it early on (something like, "After the party dies down, why don't you come back to my place?"), making it painfully obvious what I want, or at the end, say "what do you say we head back to my place?"

Also, the night she was here, she left a bottle of vodka, asking me to hold onto it, and she really made no attempt to take it with her the morning after (I hate to jump to conclusions but was she giving the signal that she was expecting to come back?). Would it be good to say "Hey Julia, how about we head back to my place and pop open that vodka?"

 

[PinotNoir]

Since you've already slept with her (and if good sex), then I don't think this will be a problem.

I'd suggest saying it early on. Else, if she's a typical party-crazy girl, then she might start approaching a bunch of guys trying to make you jealous.

Maybe, when you first get there, try to get her alone. If you can't, just ask if you can talk to her in private for a few. Then when you're alone, give sexy, strong eye contact and pull out the bedroom voice. Brush her hair and/or touch her face and shoulders a bit and get pretty close and just say, "After the party dies down, how about we go back to my place and keep having fun, sounds good?" Don't kiss her, just keep the sexual tension really high. Or, if you can't help it, then give her a manhandle kiss and break away and then go back to being with your friends.

The only problem you'll run into is looking like you're trying to girlfriend her and trying to chase her, but since you've already had sex, I don't think this will be an issue really.

 

[randy__bobandy]

Since you've already slept with her (and if good sex), then I don't think this will be a problem.

I'd suggest saying it early on. Else, if she's a typical party-crazy girl, then she might start approaching a bunch of guys trying to make you jealous.

Maybe, when you first get there, try to get her alone. If you can't, just ask if you can talk to her in private for a few. Then when you're alone, give sexy, strong eye contact and pull out the bedroom voice. Brush her hair and/or touch her face and shoulders a bit and get pretty close and just say, "After the party dies down, how about we go back to my place and keep having fun, sounds good?" Don't kiss her, just keep the sexual tension really high. Or, if you can't help it, then give her a manhandle kiss and break away and then go back to being with your friends.

The only problem you'll run into is looking like you're trying to girlfriend her and trying to chase her, but since you've already had sex, I don't think this will be an issue really.

I didn't end up saying anything because I am a huge pussy. Any other ideas?

 

[PinotNoir]

I didn't end up saying anything because I am a huge pussy. Any other ideas?

Wait until the end of the night (when the party dies down) and just grab her hand and tell her that you need to show her something or talk to her privately. Then when you're alone together, escalate. There may be some LMR, but shouldn't be much since already had sex and the party has essentially died at this point.

Or, during the middle of night if she's looking around and acting very bored, go over there and do the same thing. "Hey, this party is getting kind of boring. Let's say we ditch this place."

The only problem with this "wait game" is that there's a whole list of crap that could happen between the beginning of the night and the end. She could meet another guy and end up going off with him, or she could be watching you during the night and think that you're not that great or whatever.

A party situation is not really the best, lots of variables and messy. If you just want to have straight sex with her, maybe you just need to meet her outside of the party.

 

[randy__bobandy]

A party situation is not really the best, lots of variables and messy. If you just want to have straight sex with her, maybe you just need to meet her outside of the party.

So just be like, "Hey Julia, let's grab coffee some time this week" ?

 

[PinotNoir]

Sure, or instead, just invite her to your place to eat and watch a movie. Or, have her come to your place, pack some food, walk to some park to eat, and then come back to your place for dessert.

The best option is to have her come to your place under the pretense to eat and watch a movie, then have sex with her, and then do eating/movie after sex, but I know how hard this can be if haven't done it so fast before.

If you don't have your own place and she does, then do a coffee place (like you said) near where she lives or eat a light snack near where she lives and then lead it back to her place to end the date after.