She's with another man, dating him. He's reasonably as attractive and dominant as me, infact he's a main rival of mine in our hedge-fund. I know this is oneitis but she's really so rare of a woman. How do I get her from him? Is there any way I can steal her?
Hi Ian,
Is she some kind of a price that you want to win? Does she have a lot of value that you want to gain by being with her?
You may be perhaps putting her on a pedestal, as she has high price in your eyes... She has high value for you, which also means that you are lowering your own value in the whole relationship equation...
But as you may (or should) know, placing women on a pedestal doesn't work. Women don't want to be on a pedestal, every man who puts women on a pedestal is perceived as weak man.... Women despise weak men, they don't respect them, they dont like them... You should also know that women are looking for high value man, meaning that she should be Low value in your eyes... You should be the price to win, not her...
The only way you can "win" her is to increase your value in her eyes. Women compare different men to each other, and they usually decide for higher value man, especially if the value difference is big...
It's pretty much the same like any other market, if somebody offers you beat up and used Honda for 20K or fully loaded new Mercedes for 23K, most will go for the Mercedes without much hesitation...
So how to increase your Value? On multiple levels (described here many times), for instance having options with different women, being social, having good fundamentals, working on masculinity, leading, not being needy and so forth...
Is she some kind of a price that you want to win? Does she have a lot of value that you want to gain by being with her?
You may be perhaps putting her on a pedestal, as she has high price in your eyes... She has high value for you, which also means that you are lowering your own value in the whole relationship equation...
But as you may (or should) know, placing women on a pedestal doesn't work. Women don't want to be on a pedestal, every man who puts women on a pedestal is perceived as weak man.... Women despise weak men, they don't respect them, they dont like them... You should also know that women are looking for high value man, meaning that she should be Low value in your eyes... You should be the price to win, not her...
The only way you can "win" her is to increase your value in her eyes. Women compare different men to each other, and they usually decide for higher value man, especially if the value difference is big...
It's pretty much the same like any other market, if somebody offers you beat up and used Honda for 20K or fully loaded new Mercedes for 23K, most will go for the Mercedes without much hesitation...
So how to increase your Value? On multiple levels (described here many times), for instance having options with different women, being social, having good fundamentals, working on masculinity, leading, not being needy and so forth...
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- Mar 1, 2013
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Ian Russo said:
Can you realistically think that highly of a woman you haven't been inside, yet? Not really. As you said, you know it's oneitis and instead of confronting that problem (why have oneitis in the first place?) you're focused on proving to yourself that the oneitis is justified.
Anyway, to sleep with a girl who already has a man you simply need to be better than that man in some way or offer her something that is substantially valuable enough (to her) that she isn't getting from the other man. Now, since you said you and this man are on pretty equal ground (best case) then the chances that she leaves her man for another man of relatively equal value is pretty low. That being said, you mentioned YOU see HIM as a rival but does he see YOU that way - to him and possibly to her, you may not be a rival.
So, in my opinion, you need to figure out what you can offer that's valuable enough to her that she'd consider leaving her man. Keep in mind that since you two (maybe three?) work at the same place/building there is a ton of potential reputation damage she could face if she was to leave her man for you - again, that would weigh into her decision. Anyway, think about it from her perspective and ask yourself if there's any reason she would leave her current man for you, taking into account potential/social/romantic value, etc.
Not saying it's impossible, by any means. I just think it is unlikely and I don't see what she would get out of the situation. It's one thing if you know this guy is giving her poor sex, is in an inferior position, and lacks the confidence to lead her in their relationship, etc. but from how you've made it sound you don't have much to offer her that he isn't already offering her. Just something for you to think about.
-Richard