How do most guys get laid and who's fucking all the hot chicks?

[Orgasmatron]

Hey dudes,

So, 99%+ of guys are not PUAs.
They aren't cold approaching girls during the day, and they aren't doing things like getting frame conrol, developing emotional stimulation, getting compliance, moving her, escalating, all that stuff.

I was out this evening in the city centre in Edinburgh, just walking about observing, seeing what the deal is on a Saturday night now that things here have opened up a bit and are getting someway towards normal again. There were shitloads of hot chicks wandering about, and loads of drunk idiot guys, with likely zero game. But some of those hot chicks are going home with drunken idiot guys at the end of the night. Aren't they?

Is it just that these guys are literally getting lucky and due to the law of averages if they go out enough times and talk to enough drunk girls in bars and clubs they will eventually get laid? It's pure volume, talk to 100 drunk girls, get laid once?

And are they just not banging the hot ones, just the average girls, or as low as their standards will go? (pretty low maybe given the level of alcohol that's getting put away). I went home at midnight so I didn't stay out til 2am to see that aftermath.

So who's banging all the hot chicks, because they're getting laid, but who by?
Just the dudes that aren't scared to talk to them? Basically, confident guys?
And surely those guys are doing all things thet you shouldn't do like putting her on a pedestel and kissing her ass.

I'm just wondering because I only ever got anywhere with any girls before through knowing them via social circle or work, which is basically the same thing. I kindof already knew them or got set up by a friend.

I'm sure, with guys being guys, there is some exagerration going on, making out she was hotter than she really was, and making out their numbers are higher than they really are.

But I don't get how any of these guys are getting any, other than pure luck or settling for whatever they can get.

 

[trashKENNUT]

So who's banging all the hot chicks, because they're getting laid, but who by?
Just the dudes that aren't scared to talk to them? Basically, confident guys?

Exactly.
Recently on this earth, that we all are living in. there's a phenomenon that is sounded by political commentators.

Let's called it: 'The Appearance of Many'.

Where I might tweet the word 'PUA sucks'. David says 'PUA sucks' and tweets, and some others around the world tweets the same thing.

The algorithm then sweeps it across.

p.s: I have recognize it now that I am likely to be able to dismantle what is purposeful and what is not.

Just the dudes that aren't scared to talk to them? Basically, confident guys

There's 2 different things.
Confidence by Skill versus Confidence by Staging.

- Guys who already relaxed in social circles.
- Guys who already established in social circle.
- Guys who already established in events

They then just meet girls on this and their dating sales funnel extends to a friend of a friend and acquaintances and so on.

TLDR:
Guys who sleeps with this hot girls just so happens to established access to girls.

z@c+

 

[ulrich]

Social circle.

Yes, 99% of guys are not PUAs but also 80%-85% of PUAs are wannabes, son don’t think you need to be a PUA to get girls.

In fact, I would suggest you don’t compare yourself to PUAs rather to naturals… just “guys who do well with girls”

I’d guess 10-15% of guys out there are pretty good with girls.
Either they grew up witnessing healthy relationships in their family or had some kind of intuitive discovery early in their life.

There are many naturals who know what they’re doing… they usually have pretty big holes in their skills but they do just fine with a certain kind of girls that they like and is accessible to them.

As for nightlife, be skeptical of the flashing lights.
Most 10s you’ll find in a club are actually 7s… and out of that environment, they are just regular girls.
The same way that those drunk idiots at night could actually be just decent regular dudes at day.
Nightlife is deceiving and rigged against men.

In most environments, you will find that guys are usually higher value than girls… nightlife is one of the exceptions.

 

[Vision]

Hey dudes,

So, 99%+ of guys are not PUAs.
They aren't cold approaching girls during the day, and they aren't doing things like getting frame conrol, developing emotional stimulation, getting compliance, moving her, escalating, all that stuff.

I think this depends on where you live and the culture around you. There are some cultures, like Italian for instance, or I've heard that southerns in the USA are like this, where it's pretty normal for guys to approach.

Also, pickup was pretty popular for awhile. In 2012, I'd go to random places, like some remote town in Brazil, and I'd meet guys who would be like, "Have you heard of the Mystery Method"... and I'd be like, "wtf?"

Not to say those guys are approaching or anything but maybe they do sometimes.

Some people do a lot of this stuff naturally. That's where we got most of it from, modeling people who were doing things that worked.

I have no idea what the percentages are of people who do what though. And I know that's not the point of this post.

I was out this evening in the city centre in Edinburgh, just walking about observing, seeing what the deal is on a Saturday night now that things here have opened up a bit and are getting someway towards normal again. There were shitloads of hot chicks wandering about, and loads of drunk idiot guys, with likely zero game. But some of those hot chicks are going home with drunken idiot guys at the end of the night. Aren't they?

Or drunk, smart guys... or sober smart guys, or not going out and meeting guys through their social circle or through apps or whatever.

When I was in college, I was a part of a marketing organization that did research into student success after college (or University, as I think they call it here).

We found that around 67% of people who graduated from college found their first job through someone they know... they weren't going job hunting and putting in applications and resumes, they made a connection in the college and then were given the job they got through that connection.

My guess would be that it's similar with romantic relationships. Someone knows someone and they get introduced, they bang a bunch, there's pressure on the guy to have something real with her, one of the two feels like they got a good deal and the other feels reluctant but they do it anyway, because they see the dating landscape as a nightmare.

Only 27% of young adults claim that they've ever used a dating app before. So the overwhelming majority of men and women aren't getting on those apps or using them.

They've actually done studies on how often men approach women and under what conditions. They found, oddly enough, that almost the same percentage of men as the percentage above (around 65-67%) will only approach a woman if he gets a CLEAR indication that the approach is going to go well.

So women, often, are actually the initiators of the approach... men look for women who are interested, a woman gives him a clear signal, he goes over and talks to her. That's what the research had found.

Also, there are a lot of women who aren't dating at all and just work or live their lives and avoid the dating scene completely or they're in relationships or whatever.

Is it just that these guys are literally getting lucky and due to the law of averages if they go out enough times and talk to enough drunk girls in bars and clubs they will eventually get laid? It's pure volume, talk to 100 drunk girls, get laid once?

I think less people are running around fucking each other than you probably would imagine. My guess is that a lot of these girls have men they view as safe, guys they've hooked up with before that they go back to time and time again, and they aren't hooking up with lots of dudes randomly at bars and clubs.

I'm sure there's a percentage of women who do this. But for most women, that gets super old, super fast. They feel like they aren't getting that much out of it, etc.

The current average recorded number of sexual partners that women under 40 say they've had is around 4 or 5 (according to the CDC), which is questionable as to whether it's true or not.

But assuming you believe it, people aren't fucking as much as you would think... my guess would be that people going to bars are fucking more than people who don't.

And are they just not banging the hot ones, just the average girls, or as low as their standards will go? (pretty low maybe given the level of alcohol that's getting put away). I went home at midnight so I didn't stay out til 2am to see that aftermath.

So who's banging all the hot chicks, because they're getting laid, but who by?

Probably previous partners that they've had... some guy they've been hooking up with for awhile... someone they know.

And like Uriel said, a lot of women are not what you think they look like.

I used to be a manager at a Penthouse strip club. And I often didn't even recognize the women who worked when they showed up, before they got their makeup on... it was a crazy transformation.

And then, even more so, when you count bars and clubs at night, weird lights, what do these girls actually look like? How are they hiding things?

You don't know until you undress them, put them in real light, and sometimes see them with their makeup off.

Just the dudes that aren't scared to talk to them? Basically, confident guys?

Not likely, not if you're talking about bars and clubs.

And surely those guys are doing all things thet you shouldn't do like putting her on a pedestel and kissing her ass.

Many of them definitely are... or paying for them or whatever.

I'm just wondering because I only ever got anywhere with any girls before through knowing them via social circle or work, which is basically the same thing. I kindof already knew them or got set up by a friend.

Right...

I'm sure, with guys being guys, there is some exagerration going on, making out she was hotter than she really was, and making out their numbers are higher than they really are.

EVERYTHING is exaggerated! Dudes are rubbing girls titties and saying they got laid.

They're kissing a girl and saying they got laid.

They're going home, crying, and wacking off to gay, midget clown porn, and saying they got laid.

Shit dudes lie about is pretty funny.

But I don't get how any of these guys are getting any, other than pure luck or settling for whatever they can get.

I used to be in the military and my unit of guys that I was with would get laid ALL the time. It was basically a platoon full of players.

Most of them would bang whatever they could, whenever they could and we'd even joke about it later...

"Haha, did you see that girl Eddie went home with yesterday, she looked like medusa!"

"I'm banging chainsaw mouth again tonight"

I think most guys who are naturals, have a big variety of different girls they hook up with.

There was this guy here that I met over the summer... he was definitely a natural.

Some of the girls he was banging were ridiculously hot. But he was banging one or two new girls a week... and some of them, I wouldn't touch with your dick... and some of them could easily be models. Most of the girls are early to mid 20's and the guy is in his mid-40's.

I've hung out with a lot of naturals... and that's what most of them do... they bang a variety of different women.

 

[Will_V]

Hey dudes,

So, 99%+ of guys are not PUAs.
They aren't cold approaching girls during the day, and they aren't doing things like getting frame conrol, developing emotional stimulation, getting compliance, moving her, escalating, all that stuff.

I was out this evening in the city centre in Edinburgh, just walking about observing, seeing what the deal is on a Saturday night now that things here have opened up a bit and are getting someway towards normal again. There were shitloads of hot chicks wandering about, and loads of drunk idiot guys, with likely zero game. But some of those hot chicks are going home with drunken idiot guys at the end of the night. Aren't they?

Is it just that these guys are literally getting lucky and due to the law of averages if they go out enough times and talk to enough drunk girls in bars and clubs they will eventually get laid? It's pure volume, talk to 100 drunk girls, get laid once?

And are they just not banging the hot ones, just the average girls, or as low as their standards will go? (pretty low maybe given the level of alcohol that's getting put away). I went home at midnight so I didn't stay out til 2am to see that aftermath.

So who's banging all the hot chicks, because they're getting laid, but who by?
Just the dudes that aren't scared to talk to them? Basically, confident guys?
And surely those guys are doing all things thet you shouldn't do like putting her on a pedestel and kissing her ass.

I'm just wondering because I only ever got anywhere with any girls before through knowing them via social circle or work, which is basically the same thing. I kindof already knew them or got set up by a friend.

I'm sure, with guys being guys, there is some exagerration going on, making out she was hotter than she really was, and making out their numbers are higher than they really are.

But I don't get how any of these guys are getting any, other than pure luck or settling for whatever they can get.

It's a good question, but let me ask you, what kind of guys do you see these girls with in the regular daytime? Besides these girls can look way different without makeup, as Uriel said.

Honestly, I think 90% of guys who go out clubbing never get laid or rarely. They go because of their mates, and they go because they want to approximate themselves to guys who actually do get laid, while in the process not comparing favorably. When I see guys hitting on girls in clubs, usually with high-energy and poor technique with a sort of 'bro' mentality, she's rarely giving him any real interest even though she might feel relatively comfortable. University pub crawls and student bars are a bit different, things are a bit looser there and you'll see a lot more 'seductions' based on nothing but energy but still it's pretty much the same.

You might say these girls might have boyfriends that are higher quality but that when they are single sometimes the more average dudes get lucky - anything is possible but how many of these girls go out alone? And if she's not alone, what is her circle going to think of her banging some average dude while drunk?

This is pretty much conjecture, but I do think that in social circles there is a type of thing where a girl and a guy in the circle have a fuckbuddy relationship - so they might often go out together as 'friends' in the same group and then end up 'staying over'. After all, a girl has to get laid and if she can wrangle this kind of casual relationship with a guy that is respected in her circle it might work. She can have the club fun, and get laid at the end of the night without the usual concerns. But I imagine it's still complicated.

Overall, it seems to me that the reality of clubbing is that there is a lot less casual sex going on, on average, than one might think, and a lot more 'sex with friends'. At least compared to the stereotype of what goes on in clubs. That's why girls on holiday are way more open in any setting.

I might be wrong, I haven't done a hell of a lot of club game in my life so these are just my hypotheses.

 

[Orgasmatron]

Exactly.
Recently on this earth, that we all are living in. there's a phenomenon that is sounded by political commentators.

Let's called it: 'The Appearance of Many'.

Where I might tweet the word 'PUA sucks'. David says 'PUA sucks' and tweets, and some others around the world tweets the same thing.

The algorithm then sweeps it across.

p.s: I have recognize it now that I am likely to be able to dismantle what is purposeful and what is not.



There's 2 different things.
Confidence by Skill versus Confidence by Staging.

- Guys who already relaxed in social circles.
- Guys who already established in social circle.
- Guys who already established in events

They then just meet girls on this and their dating sales funnel extends to a friend of a friend and acquaintances and so on.

TLDR:
Guys who sleeps with this hot girls just so happens to established access to girls.

z@c+

Thanks.

Sounds like what you're saying is its guys who are already either in their social circle or are well known in the club.

Cheers

 

[Orgasmatron]

Social circle.

Yes, 99% of guys are not PUAs but also 80%-85% of PUAs are wannabes, son don’t think you need to be a PUA to get girls.

In fact, I would suggest you don’t compare yourself to PUAs rather to naturals… just “guys who do well with girls”

I’d guess 10-15% of guys out there are pretty good with girls.
Either they grew up witnessing healthy relationships in their family or had some kind of intuitive discovery early in their life.

There are many naturals who know what they’re doing… they usually have pretty big holes in their skills but they do just fine with a certain kind of girls that they like and is accessible to them.

As for nightlife, be skeptical of the flashing lights.
Most 10s you’ll find in a club are actually 7s… and out of that environment, they are just regular girls.
The same way that those drunk idiots at night could actually be just decent regular dudes at day.
Nightlife is deceiving and rigged against men.

In most environments, you will find that guys are usually higher value than girls… nightlife is one of the exceptions.

Thanks.

That makes sense, it's weird going out sober when everyone else seems to wasted, so I wondered who was doing well out of the night life thing. I can't be bothered with the club's, not my scene at all, but I like hitting the bars for a bit.

Ha ha, oh yeah I know those girls look very different in the cold light if day. I've seen them doing the walk of shame on a Sunday morning still in their club gear from the night before.

That's interesting what you say about guys being the higher value in most environments. Night life I guess is the stereotypical place to meet girls so makes sense they would have the upper hand there.

Cheers

 

[Orgasmatron]

Hey ude, thanks

I think this depends on where you live and the culture around you. There are some cultures, like Italian for instance, or I've heard that southerns in the USA are like this, where it's pretty normal for guys to approach.

Also, pickup was pretty popular for awhile. In 2012, I'd go to random places, like some remote town in Brazil, and I'd meet guys who would be like, "Have you heard of the Mystery Method"... and I'd be like, "wtf?"

Not to say those guys are approaching or anything but maybe they do sometimes.

Some people do a lot of this stuff naturally. That's where we got most of it from, modeling people who were doing things that worked.

I have no idea what the percentages are of people who do what though. And I know that's not the point of this post.

I don't think it is common at all here in Scotland or the rest of the UK (maybe London is different, but hey, London's weird), we are far too reserved and hung up about what other people think about us. Get people drunk though and it's a different matter. Some people seem to think it's strange that I even say hello to strangers as I walk past or ask the girl in the shop if it's been busyt today. We seem to be terrified of speaking to people we don't know here.

Or drunk, smart guys... or sober smart guys, or not going out and meeting guys through their social circle or through apps or whatever.

When I was in college, I was a part of a marketing organization that did research into student success after college (or University, as I think they call it here).

We found that around 67% of people who graduated from college found their first job through someone they know... they weren't going job hunting and putting in applications and resumes, they made a connection in the college and then were given the job they got through that connection.

Wow, that's really interesting. Who you know is huge for getting jobs.

My guess would be that it's similar with romantic relationships. Someone knows someone and they get introduced, they bang a bunch, there's pressure on the guy to have something real with her, one of the two feels like they got a good deal and the other feels reluctant but they do it anyway, because they see the dating landscape as a nightmare.

Yes, this is pretty much how I ended up being married!

They've actually done studies on how often men approach women and under what conditions. They found, oddly enough, that almost the same percentage of men as the percentage above (around 65-67%) will only approach a woman if he gets a CLEAR indication that the approach is going to go well.

So women, often, are actually the initiators of the approach... men look for women who are interested, a woman gives him a clear signal, he goes over and talks to her. That's what the research had found.

Also, there are a lot of women who aren't dating at all and just work or live their lives and avoid the dating scene completely or they're in relationships or whatever.

We're so afraid of rejection, we need to know it's in the bag before we even talk to her.
You wonder how many IOIs are being given off that never even get picked up on, most probably.

I think less people are running around fucking each other than you probably would imagine. My guess is that a lot of these girls have men they view as safe, guys they've hooked up with before that they go back to time and time again, and they aren't hooking up with lots of dudes randomly at bars and clubs.

I'm sure there's a percentage of women who do this. But for most women, that gets super old, super fast. They feel like they aren't getting that much out of it, etc.

The current average recorded number of sexual partners that women under 40 say they've had is around 4 or 5 (according to the CDC), which is questionable as to whether it's true or not.

But assuming you believe it, people aren't fucking as much as you would think... my guess would be that people going to bars are fucking more than people who don't.



Probably previous partners that they've had... some guy they've been hooking up with for awhile... someone they know.

That makes sense, if you got a good thing going that works for you, why look anywhere else.

I used to be a manager at a Penthouse strip club. And I often didn't even recognize the women who worked when they showed up, before they got their makeup on... it was a crazy transformation.

And then, even more so, when you count bars and clubs at night, weird lights, what do these girls actually look like? How are they hiding things?

You don't know until you undress them, put them in real light, and sometimes see them with their makeup off.

Totally man, they are masters of disguise!

EVERYTHING is exaggerated! Dudes are rubbing girls titties and saying they got laid.

They're kissing a girl and saying they got laid.

They're going home, crying, and wacking off to gay, midget clown porn, and saying they got laid.

Shit dudes lie about is pretty funny.

It's funny. At school and college/uni you just knew that what guys were saying was total bullshit, but nobody wanted to say anything because they were worried that they'd get called out on all their bullshit made-up stories too!

Yes, there were 3 of them, all 19-year-old bikini models, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, they couldn't get enough of my 8-inch cock and we fucked 5 times! lol

I used to be in the military and my unit of guys that I was with would get laid ALL the time. It was basically a platoon full of players.

Most of them would bang whatever they could, whenever they could and we'd even joke about it later...

"Haha, did you see that girl Eddie went home with yesterday, she looked like medusa!"

"I'm banging chainsaw mouth again tonight"

I think most guys who are naturals, have a big variety of different girls they hook up with.

There was this guy here that I met over the summer... he was definitely a natural.

Some of the girls he was banging were ridiculously hot. But he was banging one or two new girls a week... and some of them, I wouldn't touch with your dick... and some of them could easily be models. Most of the girls are early to mid 20's and the guy is in his mid-40's.

I've hung out with a lot of naturals... and that's what most of them do... they bang a variety of different women.

Wow, I don't like the sound of Medusa or Chainsaw Mouth!

I've heard that about naturals, they just go after anyone and everyone.

Cool
Cheers man

 

[Orgasmatron]

It's a good question, but let me ask you, what kind of guys do you see these girls with in the regular daytime? Besides these girls can look way different without makeup, as Uriel said.

Absolutely, good point.

I know. It's confirmation bias to see the 1 hot girl with 'guy that's not like me' and you then ignore the other hot girls who are with 'guy who is like me'.

Honestly, I think 90% of guys who go out clubbing never get laid or rarely. They go because of their mates, and they go because they want to approximate themselves to guys who actually do get laid, while in the process not comparing favorably. When I see guys hitting on girls in clubs, usually with high-energy and poor technique with a sort of 'bro' mentality, she's rarely giving him any real interest even though she might feel relatively comfortable. University pub crawls and student bars are a bit different, things are a bit looser there and you'll see a lot more 'seductions' based on nothing but energy but still it's pretty much the same.

Definitely seen that a lot in the past. I'll impress her with my bravado.

It's something I'll watch out for too, just out of interest. Could be funny.

You might say these girls might have boyfriends that are higher quality but that when they are single sometimes the more average dudes get lucky - anything is possible but how many of these girls go out alone? And if she's not alone, what is her circle going to think of her banging some average dude while drunk?

This is pretty much conjecture, but I do think that in social circles there is a type of thing where a girl and a guy in the circle have a fuckbuddy relationship - so they might often go out together as 'friends' in the same group and then end up 'staying over'. After all, a girl has to get laid and if she can wrangle this kind of casual relationship with a guy that is respected in her circle it might work. She can have the club fun, and get laid at the end of the night without the usual concerns. But I imagine it's still complicated.

Makes sense.

Overall, it seems to me that the reality of clubbing is that there is a lot less casual sex going on, on average, than one might think, and a lot more 'sex with friends'. At least compared to the stereotype of what goes on in clubs. That's why girls on holiday are way more open in any setting.

I might be wrong, I haven't done a hell of a lot of club game in my life so these are just my hypotheses.

I have pretty much no social circle atm, as I just moved to Edinburgh recently, I'm working on it though, making friends with cool neighbour girl and her bf, and trying to get some nights out sorted with dudes at work, they have gfs, and they'll have friends, so there's that. It's a slow process though, especially at the moment.

We get lots of tourists in Edinburgh, so I'm hoping that's an avenue I can exploit.

I'm not going to do clubs, I don't like them, and it sounds like a waste of time too. Plus, I have a job, and I can't stay out til 5am at the weekend and expect that Monday morning won't be an even bigger nightmare than usual.

Bars, cool, I'll be doing that.

Sounds like day game is where it's at. So, I'd better go out now while I've still got the weather for it.

Cheers dude!

 

[trashKENNUT]

Sounds like what you're saying is its guys who are already either in their social circle or are well known in the club.

I don't want to be a downer

Because that's the socially accepted answer.
But I simplified it too much, maybe.
Okay, how do I say this.

Do you guys ever have had girls interested in you and suddenly show interest in you?

Well I'm pretty sure most guys do
It's not accidental. It's where you move around.

That is the secret.
Where you move around is where chicks will find you. And if you are higher in status, you will get more attention, and that leads to talk to then date/sex.

This has many factors and value assessment keeps moving.

Anyway,

If you hangout around redpill people, you will tend to seek redpill people, topics. If you hangout around pickup artist and dating advice seekers, you will tend to defend your position and claim that bias is very obvious in the commentary here as well.

Yes, there's naturals.
Yes, there's pickup artist.
There's people who are good.

It's just not as many as we might think.

SIdenote:

- The Island Syndrome
(Chase old notes on doctors banging nurses)

- Appearance versus Actual Skill

- Skill versus Social Arena
(Places where she ALREADY SEES you)

z@c+

 

[Will_V]

Absolutely, good point.

I know. It's confirmation bias to see the 1 hot girl with 'guy that's not like me' and you then ignore the other hot girls who are with 'guy who is like me'.



Definitely seen that a lot in the past. I'll impress her with my bravado.

It's something I'll watch out for too, just out of interest. Could be funny.



Makes sense.



I have pretty much no social circle atm, as I just moved to Edinburgh recently, I'm working on it though, making friends with cool neighbour girl and her bf, and trying to get some nights out sorted with dudes at work, they have gfs, and they'll have friends, so there's that. It's a slow process though, especially at the moment.

We get lots of tourists in Edinburgh, so I'm hoping that's an avenue I can exploit.

I'm not going to do clubs, I don't like them, and it sounds like a waste of time too. Plus, I have a job, and I can't stay out til 5am at the weekend and expect that Monday morning won't be an even bigger nightmare than usual.

Bars, cool, I'll be doing that.

Sounds like day game is where it's at. So, I'd better go out now while I've still got the weather for it.

Cheers dude!

To be clear, I'm not saying social circle is where it's at. I don't think the guys who get laid that way, and who aren't already top-tier guys, are doing it on their terms.

I am saying that when you see loads of drunk guys pouring into a club, the idea that they're all going in there with a substantial chance of getting laid is an illusion. The same way guys orbit girls forever without getting anything in return, they'll hang out at clubs, doing crazy 'bro' stuff, throwing down drinks and staring at girls, forever, without getting laid. And this seems to go even for guys who are otherwise socially capable. I believe in both cases it's a lack of any real intent or plan of action, but an attempt to gain what they want by some kind of osmosis, which rarely works, because they are too self conscious and out of touch to actually formulate their desires in a realistic way.

But for seducers generally, night game is king. Even though I haven't done tons of it, I do believe it when they say it's easier than daygame. Certainly my seductions there were faster and easier when I was in the right mood. But I am a romantic guy, I like the thrill of taking a woman out of her day to day routine without any fanfare or alcohol needed.

I would definitely suggest going out to bars and clubs if you have the chance, it's going to be a way easier environment to get familiarity with girls in a much more sexual environment, where you can do more bold stuff and develop faster with less negative feedback.

 

[Orgasmatron]

I don't want to be a downer

Because that's the socially accepted answer.
But I simplified it too much, maybe.
Okay, how do I say this.

Do you guys ever have had girls interested in you and suddenly show interest in you?

Well I'm pretty sure most guys do
It's not accidental. It's where you move around.

That is the secret.
Where you move around is where chicks will find you. And if you are higher in status, you will get more attention, and that leads to talk to then date/sex.

This has many factors and value assessment keeps moving.

Anyway,

If you hangout around redpill people, you will tend to seek redpill people, topics. If you hangout around pickup artist and dating advice seekers, you will tend to defend your position and claim that bias is very obvious in the commentary here as well.

Yes, there's naturals.
Yes, there's pickup artist.
There's people who are good.

It's just not as many as we might think.

SIdenote:

- The Island Syndrome
(Chase old notes on doctors banging nurses)

- Appearance versus Actual Skill

- Skill versus Social Arena
(Places where she ALREADY SEES you)

z@c+

Im sorry dude, but I don't really understand what you mean.

 

[Orgasmatron]

To be clear, I'm not saying social circle is where it's at. I don't think the guys who get laid that way, and who aren't already top-tier guys, are doing it on their terms.

I am saying that when you see loads of drunk guys pouring into a club, the idea that they're all going in there with a substantial chance of getting laid is an illusion. The same way guys orbit girls forever without getting anything in return, they'll hang out at clubs, doing crazy 'bro' stuff, throwing down drinks and staring at girls, forever, without getting laid. And this seems to go even for guys who are otherwise socially capable. I believe in both cases it's a lack of any real intent or plan of action, but an attempt to gain what they want by some kind of osmosis, which rarely works, because they are too self conscious and out of touch to actually formulate their desires in a realistic way.

But for seducers generally, night game is king. Even though I haven't done tons of it, I do believe it when they say it's easier than daygame. Certainly my seductions there were faster and easier when I was in the right mood. But I am a romantic guy, I like the thrill of taking a woman out of her day to day routine without any fanfare or alcohol needed.

I would definitely suggest going out to bars and clubs if you have the chance, it's going to be a way easier environment to get familiarity with girls in a much more sexual environment, where you can do more bold stuff and develop faster with less negative feedback.

Yeah I get that most guys relying on social circle are not directing things and are probably playing the long game where they hope that eventually she'll like them.

Re guys pouring into a club. That's what I figured because that's what I would have done before, just hung around hopefully and then go home alone. There was no plan if action or idea about what to do. Do I figure that's standard dude practice.

It's certainly easier to start a conversation in a bar. A few weeks ago I was out and it's easy to say stuff like "whats that drink you've got, that looks interesting" which led to " where your accent from" and your into a conversation. It's a social environment so that makes it easier.

I'm out this afternoon and I was yesterday too and the approach anxiety is killing me. That combined with trying to look for girls on their own is making for a very frustrating weekend.

But I prefer the whole day game idea though, I think I'm okay once I get talking to some, I've got good social skills, but it's getting my foot in the door that I find difficult, so I can't get any practice with anything else. It's fucking annoying tbh, I know I just need to do it.

And then for night game I don't really know anyone to go out with, so I've got to do that on my own, so that's a whole new level of super awkwardness.

I realise I'm just complaining about being a pussy but that's where I'm at right now.

This shit isn't easy is it?

I hope you guys are having a better day than me. Lol.

Cheers

 

[Will_V]

Yeah I get that most guys relying on social circle are not directing things and are probably playing the long game where they hope that eventually she'll like them.

Re guys pouring into a club. That's what I figured because that's what I would have done before, just hung around hopefully and then go home alone. There was no plan if action or idea about what to do. Do I figure that's standard dude practice.

It's certainly easier to start a conversation in a bar. A few weeks ago I was out and it's easy to say stuff like "whats that drink you've got, that looks interesting" which led to " where your accent from" and your into a conversation. It's a social environment so that makes it easier.

I'm out this afternoon and I was yesterday too and the approach anxiety is killing me. That combined with trying to look for girls on their own is making for a very frustrating weekend.

But I prefer the whole day game idea though, I think I'm okay once I get talking to some, I've got good social skills, but it's getting my foot in the door that I find difficult, so I can't get any practice with anything else. It's fucking annoying tbh, I know I just need to do it.

And then for night game I don't really know anyone to go out with, so I've got to do that on my own, so that's a whole new level of super awkwardness.

I realise I'm just complaining about being a pussy but that's where I'm at right now.

This shit isn't easy is it?

I hope you guys are having a better day than me. Lol.

Cheers

Nah daygame is definitely not easy. It requires far better than average social skills, and a hell of a lot of self-confidence because it's way harder to deal with a rejection from a sober woman in a 'normal' social context than some tipsy party girl in the middle of the dance floor.

One thing Chase mentioned recently in one if his articles on cold approach is how it's important to focus on basic social skills before trying to be seductive. When you think about it, if a girl is going to reject you for just being a nice guy and talking to her, she won't be going home with you. And if you can't be a nice guy that women generally react well to, the chances of pulling off a seduction are minimal.

This is one of the issues I've got with spam approaching, because it often hides the fact that the guy doesn't even have the skills to be an acceptable 'nice guy' to a woman let alone the kind of guy she wants to get to know intimately. So rather than working on himself step by step he just creates a sort of shield around rejection and ploughs in until something sticks, meanwhile doing a lot of damage to his ego and nerves.

I would suggest every now and then to go out and just have as many relaxed, 'nice' conversations as possible with women, not trying to seduce at all but just trying to be a guy that 'makes her feel good', getting to know what they expect from a guy in that situation, building up your mental model of women a bit. That really helps AA in my experience. Then simply allow yourself to think of her in a more sexual way during these conversations without getting reactive, and then find some ways to express it a little bit, seeing how she reacts and calibrating.

Nobody ever got skilled at a difficult thing without focusing on one step at a time, especially in a situation like daygame where, as you mentioned, things can end quickly with little or no feedback.

 

[ulrich]

This shit isn't easy is it?

The start is hard but once you get some momentum it starts turning easier.

 

[Orgasmatron]

Nah daygame is definitely not easy. It requires far better than average social skills, and a hell of a lot of self-confidence because it's way harder to deal with a rejection from a sober woman in a 'normal' social context than some tipsy party girl in the middle of the dance floor.

One thing Chase mentioned recently in one if his articles on cold approach is how it's important to focus on basic social skills before trying to be seductive. When you think about it, if a girl is going to reject you for just being a nice guy and talking to her, she won't be going home with you. And if you can't be a nice guy that women generally react well to, the chances of pulling off a seduction are minimal.

This is one of the issues I've got with spam approaching, because it often hides the fact that the guy doesn't even have the skills to be an acceptable 'nice guy' to a woman let alone the kind of guy she wants to get to know intimately. So rather than working on himself step by step he just creates a sort of shield around rejection and ploughs in until something sticks, meanwhile doing a lot of damage to his ego and nerves.

I would suggest every now and then to go out and just have as many relaxed, 'nice' conversations as possible with women, not trying to seduce at all but just trying to be a guy that 'makes her feel good', getting to know what they expect from a guy in that situation, building up your mental model of women a bit. That really helps AA in my experience. Then simply allow yourself to think of her in a more sexual way during these conversations without getting reactive, and then find some ways to express it a little bit, seeing how she reacts and calibrating.

Nobody ever got skilled at a difficult thing without focusing on one step at a time, especially in a situation like daygame where, as you mentioned, things can end quickly with little or no feedback.

Thanks man that's really helpful.

I'll read the article and the series. It should give me an idea of where I'm really at social skills wise.

I have good interactions with people in general, I usually chat with people at the counter in shops and ask them how their day is going, I say stuff to random strangers and it goes well, I'm trying to get to know my neighbours, but put a cute girl in front of me and all of a sudden saying hello becomes difficult. Once I've got past that, as a social interaction anyway, it generally goes well, they seem to be enjoying chatting to me, there are smiles and laughs. But there's usually a bf (probably bs half the time) or no response to texts. I've got an idea about what the problem is and I'm working on that, but I just need to get over that initial approach. I know it's just a matter of doing it and getting over it, but it is annoying.

I'm not into spamming. I don't see the point. If I'm not into her then I don't care so it's a waste of time for both of us.

Thanks for the 'just have a normal conversation' tip. I'm probably just making the whole thing a big deal in my head so doing that will help get that sorted.


Yeah, I've realised you need to take it one step at a time, get good at thing 1 then move onto thing 2.

Thanks dude, that's all really helpful

 

[Orgasmatron]

The start is hard but once you get some momentum it starts turning easier.

Thanks glad to hear it will get better if I just stick at it and focus on getting better.

I've definitely lost my momentum from being away for a few weeks doing other stuff. I think that's my problem this weekend.

Cheers

 

[Beck Bass]

They aren't cold approaching girls during the day, and they aren't doing things like getting frame conrol, developing emotional stimulation, getting compliance, moving her, escalating, all that stuff.

They might not know technically what they are doing, in PUA terms, but they are doing it, if they are getting laid regularly, trust me. They probably have their own way of thinking about it, like they 90% are conscious of what they are doing and that it works. I have a friend that is a "natural" that has some reasonable success with girls, and he never read anything about PUA as far as I know (his English is not that great and he's a bit of a lazy bum, I must say, at least for those things, learning new stuff), but he talks about girls in similar ways to guys here in the forums, he just doesn't use the PUA terms or analyzes things in the same way. In fact it's interesting because sometimes the read he has on some situations is quite different from mine, sometimes thinking too much like a "PUA" blindsights you from the "normal people's view" (assuming girls are more on that side of things, this can be a bit of a problem).

 

[Beck Bass]

they'll hang out at clubs, doing crazy 'bro' stuff, throwing down drinks and staring at girls, forever, without getting laid. And this seems to go even for guys who are otherwise socially capable. I believe in both cases it's a lack of any real intent or plan of action, but an attempt to gain what they want by some kind of osmosis, which rarely works, because they are too self conscious and out of touch to actually formulate their desires in a realistic way.

I myself deff have been victim of this, specially when hanging out with friends and back when my logistics were shit, having a game plan was hard, and without having a clear objective and process to get there, you end up just spinning on your heels...
There are girls on night time that are very horny and looking for sex, and it will probably be more common than during the day and easier to approach, but without experience to identify those girls and pull the trigger quickly, you're left with the rest of the girls... Which, honestly, are just looking to party or look cool or whatever the fuck, and often will be on groups, which is just more headache to deal with (during the day I believe it's way more likely to find attractive girls alone going about their day). That said, night is great for learning basic socializing and making some friends, people will be more social, with "dutch courage" and without thinking much about their daily worries.

 

[Will_V]

I myself deff have been victim of this, specially when hanging out with friends and back when my logistics were shit, having a game plan was hard, and without having a clear objective and process to get there, you end up just spinning on your heels...
There are girls on night time that are very horny and looking for sex, and it will probably be more common than during the day and easier to approach, but without experience to identify those girls and pull the trigger quickly, you're left with the rest of the girls... Which, honestly, are just looking to party or look cool or whatever the fuck, and often will be on groups, which is just more headache to deal with (during the day I believe it's way more likely to find attractive girls alone going about their day). That said, night is great for learning basic socializing and making some friends, people will be more social, with "dutch courage" and without thinking much about their daily worries.

Yeah if someone is starting out it's probably a good idea to go around escalating on and kissing horny girls in the club, it makes you feel way more comfortable being sexual in the daytime (even if it's not great game).

Overall it's just way easier to try things out at the club imo, you can get pretty bold and use a lot of touch and proximity in a way you just can't in the day.