randy__bobandy said:
...I can't be driven entirely by the journey. It's like playing for a sports team that always loses. Sure, it's not about whether you win or lose, its trying hard and having fun, but a victory here and there always boosts your morale.
Hello there Randy. I was thinking about this the other day, if not many days, and I often think back to my childhood, when I had extreme anxiety. I had extreme, extreme anxiety, my mother told me not to talk to strangers, etc, but she also taught me to have fun, and enjoy myself. TBH, I can't remembr what she said, or if she said anything at all about being outgoing, but I remember what I did. I would make a complete and utter goof of myself, and would not have a care in the world if the others kids liked or didn't like me. I did this as a sort of defense mechanism for myself to break the tension of being so nervous, I don't understand why I did this myself. In the end, I always made friends.
The thing with being a grown up though, is that you can't really be a goof anymore. The thing that I take away though, is that you can't let the small picture of the current reality fool you and discourage you into thinking it's a dead end. I'm not sure if I'm saying this right though...
Yesterday I was thinking about the real dynamics, with all the different people in my school. Last school year there were 8700 people in all 3 campuses, my campus being the largest one by a good percentage, plus it was conjoined with the provincial university, and the majority of the student services are also there. This year, there were WAY more people, it's ridiculous. So I decided to do a little math. Let's keep the old number (even tough it's much higher this year, plus there's a university beside us) and cut it in half to consider the amount of people that I have the chance to run into:
8700 * 0.5 = 4350 (A very conservative number of how many people I may even run into on campus, If I go and talk to them all)
Then I simply take this number and multiple by 1% ! Why 1%? It's very safe, and it's very conservative in the amount of meaningful relationship that will muster in the first round of meeting every person I possibly can:
4350 * 0.01 = 43.5 = 43
That's 43 people. Not a lot compared to 8700, but so what? Those are 43 meaningful relationships! Once you meet everyone, get out there, and have connections, you've also built skill, and are very familiar. Not only that, but other people will see this, and the tables will turn. It will be then, YOUR turn to say, hmm, should I give you another chance to be with me, or friends with me, considering you didn't want anything to do with me the first around?
Hopefully I've made things clearer. It's not that big a deal, most people won't have anything interesting going on in their life, but if you go out there and actively go for what you want, people will see this and in the end, will flock to you.
When the times are tough, realize that it's not your lose, it's their.
