How do you get 'RESPECT' when you are afraid most of the times?

[Duke22]

Yeah, I'm always scared, afraid.....I don't know of what. Maybe social phobia or something.

I don't get treated with respect, people take me lightly, especially family. And this is annoying me. Ordering me around, don't listen to what I'm trying to say even when it's right.

If I'm correct, I think it's because while growing up, I had my family leading things on their term, things go their way.....never mine. But you see, I'm not that 8 year old kid anymore. I've just turned 23.

So, ho do you set boundaries or whatever that's necessary to get your Respect. The moment you can feel from comfortable from the inside that yes.... I'm a respected person now. I have right to do things on my term, my way. That I want to lead my life where I want it to be.

Any advice is good advice

-Duke

 

[NealIRC]

No, you're not afraid. You just don't have anything to say.

There's a difference between being shy, and not having anything to say.

Okay, so you see a girl at the beach tanning in bikinis, and you don't have anything to say, so you think you're shy.

Let's say a mom with kids sees a hot guy at the playground. She don't have anything to say to him. If I walked up to her and say "see that hot guy over there, I'll pay you $20 to go flirt with him, strike up a convo with him" she be nervous to.

But if she saw someone touch her kids, she all of a sudden no longer shy, because, she has something to say now.

 

[Michal]

Duke,

Everyone has their metrics to give out respect. And you need to meet those to get respect from them. To feel respected, well... most of the people in your life should respect you, obviously. For example my parents treated me as a kid until I finished university and got a job. A friend of mine started to respect me more when I beat him in a chess game. In group of friends, respect migh come from how funny you are, how good your comebacks are, or how buff you are because they are into fitness.

Generally, I noticed that people will respect you when you are really good at something that they themselves want to be good at or you have a high level of expertise and knowledge in a field that interests them (or can help them - at which point, it is a value). People respect those who are valueable to them.

Earn double the money your parents make, I am sure they will respect you, because they goal is most likely to provide and in this day and age, it means earning money.
Go from skinny to buff and your friends should respect you more because guys know how much work and dedication it takes.
Etc.

 

[lostnumber]

You need to be more confident. You know the best way to be more confident? Find people who are confident and act that way, whether you feel it or not.

Everyone knows that the way you feel affects the way you act. What many dont realize is that this is actually a two way street. They've done studies proving for example, that adopting power poses prior to an interview (stretching your body out to take up a lot of space, exposing your chest/ neck etc) cause people to perform demonstrably better in interviews than people who spent the pre-interview period adopting low power positions such as crossing their arms over their chest or curling the body up.

Do all of the stuff Michal is telling you to up your value, absolutely. Very important to your long term health and well being. But also realize that you don't need to be a millionaire actor with a big cock to act like one. And no one who meets you for the first time will know anything about the size of your bank account, or how much tail you get. They will judge you based on how you carry yourself, which is absolutely something you can work on and improve