How do you handle a girl yelling at you in public in front of people?

[jesslee09]

I noticed that when girls are lower smv, they aren't afraid of yelling at me in front of people. This includes co-workers, classmates, or random people. For example, I just started a new job and one of the girls started yelling at me for doing something wrong even though I was never taught the right way in front of customers. This led to them laughing a little bit.

How can I handle this when a girl yells at me? I become flustered and dont know what to do.

 

[readjusting]

Work I have no idea ... never been yelled at work by a girl before.

Class and in public though ... I used to have at least a girl yelled at me once a month ... before I found the cure:
1) You have to look high value
2 (optional) You only zone in high value girls

Part 1 - You have to look high value:
- Dress slightly better than people around you. If you are in class and everyone wears jeans, wearing pants. If everyone around you wears sneakers ... wears shoes.
- Social proof: Talking with teachers, other classmates, mall staffs (who also have to talk with you to try samples - make their life easy)
- Etc. There are many articles on this site to help you looking high value

Consequently, never hit on girls when you are looking low value.

Part 2 -You only zone in high value girls
- Don’t approach girls who is too ugly
- Don’t approach girls who looks young and their parents are around
- (Maybe) don’t approach girls who is ugly. Though I found out if I handle Part 1 then they were chill

 

[Fuck This]

Look at them dead in the eyes and say " I don't appreciate your tone of voice. If you would like to correct me please do so in a more respectful and constructive manner. Lets take this somewhere more private. "

If she continues, then walk away to somewhere private and if it is a work situation then decide if you are going to get someone higher up to back you or take an ass chewing.

My point being it is the way the message is delivered that you have issues with.

 

[YS.]

Hey champ,

I had this happen once. It was crazy. I invited it and allowed it. Probably you did the same.

I think there are 2 ways of going about it.

1) Don't be affected. Don't show fear. Hold the frame and own the frame. (I don't appreciate you doing that. Kinda verbals)
2) Be affected. You probably will show fear and reactivity. If so, go crazy, be loud. Make a scene. Have a good justification when everything is said and done. (I'm a grown man. She can't yell at me like that. I just reciprocated, etc.) Fight back in some way, don't go physical (ofc, lol) but explode in other ways.

If you are emotionally effected and do nothing, it's like showing a blood pack to a shark. She will get encouraged and continue doing it. Probably there was some point you showed to her it was OK for her to do so, with your vibe and energy; or maybe you showed it within the same interaction by your micro reactions.

I remember with my situation; I was really apologetic and fearful/defensive. Trying to minimize it only prolonged it. (She was a jealous, conversative girl I went on a date with, then saw me getting a -rather smooth if I may say- daygame number the same place I met her. ROFL. She confronted me and I was shitting myself. Couldn't own it at all. I remember, first she was normal, then I shelled up, she upped her verbals, I didn't do anything, shelled up more, like giving her a micro permission, and then she started screaming because from my behaviour she assumed it was OK if she did and I wouldn't do anything. BTW, this all happened in like 10-15 seconds.)

Probably you had a similar 10-20 seconds where you showed her it was OK for her to do it. Or maybe from your general vibe and demeanor, she got that you're not someone who would push back or hurt her. You have to be ready to cause a scene and defend your story. If so, %99 you won't end up in that situation because you won't give her those micro permissions.

No fight itself just "happens", people always gauge and calibrate before, if not for nothing else, just for self preservation reasons. Many fist fights require a back and forth escalation process where both parties need to get "amped up" you can't just read a book and then start fighting. It doesn't work like that.

 

[trashKENNUT]

I noticed that when girls are lower smv, they aren't afraid of yelling at me in front of people. This includes co-workers, classmates, or random people.

Why are they yelling? I know that they are not yelling as in loudly but just enough to make a scene.

Girls like this want 3 things.

Settling/Figuring the hierarchy which every girl does by any means necessary. Or she likes you but there's the tribe variable conflict

Or she is a complete fucking idiot. (She doesn't sees you as "value" even in the basic respect)

#genderequality (this hashtag is for the society that likes to take things out of context. Must handle the "trashy" comments no matter which gender you are)

 

[JRob]

I agree with @YS. I don't know about professionally, but personally I can attest to the fact that if you condone it, it continues or escalates. In my private life, I can remove myself from the situation. Professional life might be different. Still at the end of the day ask "is this worth it and is there an alternative?"