How do you keep up the assumption of abundance if it keeps not matching up with your experience?

[Archivar]

I know, showing women that I don't need them makes them more attracted to me.
Yet thinking that I don't have to accept certain behaviour and that I was able to switch to another woman in an instant, while that turns out to not be true at all, kills the assumption of abundance a little bit every time.
In general, keeping up a good mood when nothing seems to work...how do you pull that off?

 

[StrayDog]

At the very least there is an abundance of woman to approach right? Therefore an abundance of potential. That's a good place to start. But also, there is an abundance of compelling experiences in life to engage with. An advance if cool projects to work on. An abundance of simple joys and pleasures to revel in. What is the benefit of putting women at the center of all those things? Sure women can be a great joy but they are just one of the myriad other things. Build abudance in any way you can and build up from there. Loop small yet positive interactions with woman into the tapestry of an abundant life and build from there.

 

[Archivar]

There is no abundance of suitable woman to approach. Most are old, too young, or just not there when I am there.
I know, I sound like a downer, yet this is my experience. I am living in a million citizens city.

I do not experience an abundance of compelling experiences in life to engage with, can you elaborate?
I wouldn't know about a cool project to work on.

Yes, there are many little joys like a cup of tea, nothing that floats my happiness boat in a big way though, nothing that refills my reservoir of joy.

And I do need to refill that reservoir for it to be depleted by women and life; women are no source of joy, I see women as a source of new ideas. Even though, they are normally more into my ideas and hang on my every word than sharing about themselves.

This is the thing, I don't know how to build abundance when it's not there.

How do you have a guaranteed positive experience with women you don't know?

 

[topcat]

This is the thing, I don't know how to build abundance when it's not there.

you don’t. it’s a chicken or the egg situation, where you don’t have abundance until you’ve had enough girls and had enough experiences (then abundance gets you more girls and better experiences..).

A beginner shouldn’t worry about having abundance because he doesn’t even know what it feels like.

You just approach and fail and sometimes win until eventually you wake up one day and abundance is in bed with you. You’ll wonder where she came from and how she got there, but you’ll be amused as fuck and happy she is there.

Worry about stacking reference experiences. Abundance will find you when you’ve earned her…

 

[topcat]

a caveat - abundance is always there, it just changes in quality.

a beginner has abundance in action “if it doesn’t work with this one i can suck it up and approach another”.

When he starts to get dates it’s the same of increased quality “if this date leads nowhere there’ll be another date soon”.

Start getting laid - “if she won’t put out, there’ll be another one eventually. Just requires a bit of work..” and ad infinitum.

At some point it’ll be “this girl is hot, but my sex game wasn’t all that today, i wonder if she’ll come back for a number two? ah well if she doesn’t another will be here shortly and i’ll definitely do better with her”.

Deliberate action creates abundance.

 

[Archivar]

By sucking it up, you get depressed sooner or later.

 

[topcat]

By sucking it up, you get depressed sooner or later.

speak for yourself..

 

[Archivar]

speak for yourself..

I speak for you aswell. Your hostility speaks volumes.

 

[StrayDog]

There is no abundance of suitable woman to approach. Most are old, too young, or just not there when I am there.
I know, I sound like a downer, yet this is my experience. I am living in a million citizens city.

I do not experience an abundance of compelling experiences in life to engage with, can you elaborate?
I wouldn't know about a cool project to work on.

Yes, there are many little joys like a cup of tea, nothing that floats my happiness boat in a big way though, nothing that refills my reservoir of joy.

And I do need to refill that reservoir for it to be depleted by women and life; women are no source of joy, I see women as a source of new ideas. Even though, they are normally more into my ideas and hang on my every word than sharing about themselves.

This is the thing, I don't know how to build abundance when it's not there.

How do you have a guaranteed positive experience with women you don't know?

Abundance is often about seeing opportunity where you would not have previously thought it was there. Abundance of women to date starts with abundance of female energy in our lives. Just because a woman is not the age you feel you would prefer does not mean you cannot approach her and talk to her. Doing this with no agenda gives you the opportunity to learn what it takes to build connections with woman from scratch. These connections can take many forms and lead to tons of different opportunities. Maybe she is too young for your preference but you hit it off on a number of things. Well maybe as you stay connected she introduces you to an older friend or relative of hers. Or maybe you find yourself surprised at just how much you two connect despite the age difference. Abundance needs an element of flexibility in our approach to life. We have to have room to be surprised. To be willing to persue opportunities that we wouldn't always think are opportunities. We can train ourselves to see opportunities everywhere. Those often lead to more opportunities and a momentum gets going. Monetum is key. It builds and builds on itself. With each new approach, and new connection made we can learn more and more about how woman relate. What makes them tick. Turns them on. Turns them off. When te momentum really gets rolling, new female connections leads to dates, sex, relationships. You are living in a city with a million people. There is an abundance of women to approach. I have lived in a city with significantly smaller population and had no trouble finding women to approach and talk to.

Here is the thing though. As men we cannot expect women to defacto be compelled to connect with with us in any form. We have to develope a life, a mind, and perspective that is compelling. We have to learn how to share that with women in ways that are compelling to them. Otherwise they will see no reason to want to connect. Period. The same notion of abundance of opportunities applies towards a'll aspects of life. You mentioned tea being a simple joy. Well there is an opportunity there. Lear deeply about tea. Do 7 day Japanese tea ceremony. Start a tea club. Do a tea room tour. Connect with other tea lovers. Learn to articulate just what it is that compelled you about tea and follow it as deeply as you possibly can. When we decide to plumb the depths of things we are offered with an abundance of opportunity. Heck, might meet your wife over a shared passion for tea. For me it has always been important to challenge my self. To set goals and get out of my comfort zone. Life hasn't always been about what brings joy. But what brings depth. What brings perspective. Sitting one of those Japanese tea ceremonies is not easy. They are long and slow and require extreme focus and intention. My guess is there would be a great opportunity to gain new perspective. To cultivate a rich and deep experience that helps define ones sense of self. Now I am not saying you have to follow tea. Simply that mindset and approach can be an avenue towards abundance. It can be a compelling and rich aspect of ourselves that we bring to the table when interacting with women. And so abundance in one aspect of our lives can lead to abundance in the next.

-Stray Dog