How do you keep your cool when a girl rocks your world.

[IrishConrad]

I suck at keeping my cool.

I went out Friday night, I was with one friend and after a couple drinks we decided to hit this little polish bar down the road. With my fundamentalists on track, I strolled up to the bar, saw the room, and starting chatting with the bar tenders. I ordered a couple drinks and a some waters and paid little notice to the hot little piece behind me dancing. She already had the full attention of 3-4 guys.

I waited patiently and when the song ended she turned towards the bar. within 2-3 min she had my number and asked for a drink of my water. I finished my drink and said, "ill let you get back to your friends"...at this point they were eyeing me and her friend came over and whispered something in her ear.

I turned slowly and walked out of the bar. Within minutes I felt a buzz in my pocket and it was the girl I had just met. She said..."come get me"

So I did, I met her halfway, we got a gyro, laughed, kissed, and got a cab to my house.

What followed was the best sex I've had in a long time. She would ride me and then go down on me, once I made her come she wanted anal. It was a great night.

This was Friday night....on Saturday, my exhausted self stayed home and I passed out on my couch. I woke up to a next the next morning at 1 am asking where I was.....

I was pumped to get this text the next morning and replied, "wishing I was having lazy morning sex and breakfast with you".......no response from her.

So last night I still had not heard a word from her and I asked...

"where you in my neighborhood last night".

her: "No sir"

30 min go by...

me: "take a break from watching Hannah Montana so I can tell you what I'd do when we are together again. "

Her: LOL....I'm not watching Hanna Montana

Me: I send her a classy but dirty picture of a guy going down on a girl in thigh highs...It's hot, but toned down from what we were saying to each other 2 nights ago...

I still have not heard from her....

So to recap...We had a great night, she was talkative the next day and even blew me up again the next night.....and then goes stranger mode.

This girl might not be relationship material but I cannot get her off my mind. I had one of the most productive Sundays I've ever had because that was without a doubt the kind of sex I needed.

How do I keep my cool, at least between my own ears and get her back in bed?

 

[Ross]

Hey IrishConrad,

Unfortunately there's no real "technique" to keeping your cool in such a situation. From everything that I've gathered, you were chasing her. The ideal that you want to strive towards is being the person in her current position, and having her be in your current situation.

And to salvage this relationship? I'd say that is going to be hard. You are going to have to change A LOT of things in order to get this relationship into your control. Becoming a seduction master overnight isn't an easy task, especially when you are in the stance of being emotionally attached as it stands, which I have very little idea of how to get rid of other than letting it run its course These sorts of things used to happen to me quite often when I was first evoking the feelings that you no doubt face right now. I would get these crazy texts from girls and just be at a loss of what to do. So I would just ignore them. The texts would slow down.. And eventually they turned sour. And then indifferent. And then they'd stop.

So, the answer to "how to keep your cool" in future situations is to be the one in control, with her more invested, and with her chasing you because you are an extremely high value man. Don't end up in this situation in the first place. Turn your focus on learning, and while I know right now all you want is to feel her, your emotions will run there course and you just need to keep reminding yourself to stay on track and FORCE yourself to go out and meet women. Meeting new women is the best way that I know of to get over one woman.

Good luck.

 

[IrishConrad]

Thank you sir.

I went back on readying Chase's ]Keeping Your Cool: Don't Chase Women as well as Dating Narcissistic and Egotistical Women.

I ca relate when Chase calls dating these kind of women the "extreme sport of dating".

Recap from Chases blog post.

Narcissism: What've We Got?

"On the plus side, dating a narcissist means you get:

Someone who's a bit more attractive than the average
Someone who's a bit more intelligent than the average
Someone who's more dominant and a stronger leader
Someone with a higher degree of charisma and personal appeal
Someone who thinks highly of herself and is normally positive
On the minus side, you also get:

Someone prone to scheming and manipulation
Someone who believes she's smarter, prettier, and more special than she is
Someone who isn't all that interested in emotional intimacy
Someone who's a lot more likely to have an affair or be uncommitted
Someone liable to snap your head off in a rage when and if you insult her
Anybody feel like heli-skiing?"

I'm playing with fire here. On one side of the coin I love the passion and craziness. On the other I know she has an ego to protect and will most likely have go into auto-rejection on her very own with the thought of her chasing me....that is just my theory.

I guess to dive a little deeper on this, do Narcissistic women chase? If they do it is only a slight cover up to make sure they can get you chasing....I know they are much more likely to go into auto-rejection if you appear aloof and try and turn the page so I'm playing with fire once again.

Here is what I know I can't do....Chase her.
I 'll lay it out like it is. We had Sex on A Friday night, with this girl was not just sex for me, it was an experience...an escape from all the bullshit. When she went on her way the next morning I went on to have one of the most productive two days I've had in a long time. I had a great workout on Sunday, went to work with more energy and focus on Monday, and could have sworn my voice was deeper....One night with this girl and it was like I had taken a mini-vacation.

Needless to say I want that again. I've been eating very well lately and workouts are going well so naturally my sex drive is through the roof and my thoughts go straight to this girl. I've been trying cut back on masturbating/porn to 1-2 times a week so I can focus on meeting new girls and sex but Its like the more I try and stop thinking about this girl, the more I feel like I have to go release and go wank off.

I haven't had this crazy animal desire with the last 3-4 girls I've slept with so maybe it is a numbers thing. I'm addicted to one girl and fantasizing about our next rendezvous way too much. On the same token, there is the added thrill of having this girl chase me....but spending an equal amount of time trying to figure out how to make that happen is draining to the mojo.

If anyone had succeeded in getting a narcissistic wild woman to chase I am all ears.

Turn your focus on learning, and while I know right now all you want is to feel her, your emotions will run there course and you just need to keep reminding yourself to stay on track and FORCE yourself to go out and meet women. Meeting new women is the best way that I know of to get over one woman.

Thanks again. Field reports coming in soon. We have a lot of summer fun left.

 

[Franco]

IC,

I'm totally not a fan of narcissistic women, but I can probably offer my input here:

I guess to dive a little deeper on this, do Narcissistic women chase?

I'm not sure if this is the correct question to be asking. I think the question is more: "if narcissistic women chase, then why do they chase?" And the problem with trying to get a narcissistic women to chase you is that she's not looking to get you. She's looking to get the validation of having you chase her.

So it's a lose-lose situation for the guy: if you chase her, she gets exactly what she wants from you and then moves on to the next guy since the "high" is gone for her. However, if you don't chase her, then she isn't getting that validation that she craves, and instead of making herself look like a woman who chases men (and taking a blow to her ego), she'll simply move on to the next guy that she can get that validation from. I believe this is why Chase says that most of these women have very short-term relationships. In short, they have a very strong abundance mentality and know that they are capable of getting men to chase them. If men don't chase, then they cut ties quickly. If men DO chase, then they feel like they got what they want and move on to the next guy anyway.

In my opinion, these women are best for one-night stands. You get what you want, and she (briefly) gets what she wants. You might want to look into a different category of woman for something more long-term.

Just my thoughts and opinions here!

- Franco

 

[IrishConrad]

IC,

I believe this is why Chase says that most of these women have very short-term relationships. In short, they have a very strong abundance mentality and know that they are capable of getting men to chase them. If men don't chase, then they cut ties quickly. If men DO chase, then they feel like they got what they want and move on to the next guy anyway.

In my opinion, these women are best for one-night stands. You get what you want, and she (briefly) gets what she wants. You might want to look into a different category of woman for something more long-term.

Just my thoughts and opinions here!

- Franco

Well Said Franco.

I would not be so hung up on this girl if my abundance mentality was just a notch or two higher. I am a little stuck at getting to that point at the moment and hence the reasoning for wanting this one that much more.

I know exactly where her ego took a hit. We had sex Friday, she sent me a late night text the very next night and I didn't answer. It was like she went into her own auto-rejection because I was sleeping on my couch and didn't answer.

In my opinion, these women are best for one-night stands. You get what you want, and she (briefly) gets what she wants.

I agree. It's just been some time since I had a one nighter that was that good and had a girl talk that dirty.

It seems pretty clear now that I need to see it as she see's it and that I got what I wanted, she is not long term-relationship worthy(reminds me of my ex that I have posted on her about) and I can move on meeting more women.

I see positive that can come out of dating a narcissistic woman. As Chase says: "If you want greatness, date a narcissist. She will demand it from you, and settle for nothing less. So long as you're kicking butt on your endeavors, you'll have a passionate girlfriend who appreciates you quite a bit, but if you ever start to slip, she'll first call you on it, and then, if it goes on too long, she'll get out.
Personally, I love having a girl with some ego - they make you into a dominant man like nothing else will, because you get no break from it - the moment you let your guard down, you're getting hit. You're forced to not just act it, but BE it."

But i also believe there is some truth in the saying, behind every great man is great woman. We all slip....we will have our down times. I know I need a caring, understanding girl as well. But to a point. I also want one who will call me out if it's something I need to be called out on.

Thank you gentleman.

 

[ProblemSolving]

Hey Irish!

As everybody already pointed out, you're dealing with a VERY "experienced" girl here. As such, nothing scares her off faster than a guy getting emotional after a passionate night. Your text about, "wishing I was having lazy morning sex and breakfast with you" pretty much sealed your fate. That's the type of thing my girlfriend would text - it communicates neediness.

Sending her a sexual picture doesn't help either. It kills the mystery and anticipation of meeting you again.

You'll get far better results from these types of girls by sending something like, "Why don't you get your sexy ass over here? you little slut "

 

[IrishConrad]

Hey Irish!

As everybody already pointed out, you're dealing with a VERY "experienced" girl here. As such, nothing scares her off faster than a guy getting emotional after a passionate night. Your text about, "wishing I was having lazy morning sex and breakfast with you" pretty much sealed your fate. That's the type of thing my girlfriend would text - it communicates neediness.
"

I was going for more along the lines of validating her sending me a late night text and me not responding. I should have kept it naughty and short.

My best bet...probably not talk to her/open up the lines of communication in awhile?