How do you personally practice game?

[Mr.Rob]

Do you know where your weak points are in your fundamentals, vibe, etc?

How do you personally target where your weakpoints are in your game/fundamentals?

When you go out to chat up women do you have a specific fundamental or goal in mind for the day or do you just go approach women and see what adventures you get into?

When I go out I usually have one area I want to focus on for the day (practice speaking more concise) and one mini goal for the day (get 3 girls to hook) along with my ultimate aim for the day (enjoy connecting with human beings) or something along those lines.

Do you go from 0-60 or do you usually try and talk with whomever crosses your path to get some social momentum first?

I usually have more fun overall when I get a little social momentum going so recently I usually try and strike up a conversation with whatever strangers happen to be nearby at the first place I visit. For me this is usually Walmart, target, or a random store. I going to try and make this a ritual to try and unlock my spontaneity and curiosity to approach people in general to get the ball rolling better and get me feeling more social. I think this helps but haven't found much of a connection yet since a lot of my best approaches have been with no social momentum at all whatsoever. I mostly do it to break the A.A. as much as possible.

Curious to your thoughts and answers.

-Rob

 

[Grand Pooba]

Do you know where your weak points are in your fundamentals, vibe, etc?

My weak points:
- Thinking quickly on my feet. <- HUGE. I've had so many interactions where I'll run a process, but forget a persistence step or some other step that might have netted something (i.e. she declines a phone number...I don't find out what she's doing later that day/night and try to set up an insta-date instead; or I'll forget a compliance test, or a sexual frame).
- Chase framing and sexual framing, holding and conveying a sexy vibe. Working on this. It's very unnatural for me.
- Maintaining posture/avoiding leaning in during an interaction.
- Voice. I tend to speak very softly, and sometimes I angle my head down. Working on deepening it with resonance
- Maintaining a sexy and confident vibe--I haven't mastered the X factor. I have trouble putting myself into this state. It's a work in progress.
- Being too nice. Most girls tell me I seem really nice. I don't think this is sexy.

When you go out to chat up women do you have a specific fundamental or goal in mind for the day or do you just go approach women and see what adventures you get into?

These days I'm just approaching with no goal. This is because I'm trying to focus more on fundamentals and mental issues, than actual technique, since fundamentals seem so crucial. So, I approach to work on my fundamentals, not to work on a specific process. I'm going to start targeting from now on.
I aim to chat at least 8 girls on an outing and go for a number close with all of them, and have a 1.5 hour time limit. Only 5 minutes allowed between sets.
I have to start doing more insta-date approaches and compliance tests; I usually go straight to phone number pull.

Do you go from 0-60 or do you usually try and talk with whomever crosses your path to get some social momentum first?

I have very mixed results:
I have VERY frequent days where I'll be on top of my game with the first one to three women I talk to, and will get their numbers or have an insta-date, only to find my game gets worse and worse the more I approach. By the time I'm on #6 or #7 I make more mistakes or it doesn't go like I want. In some ways this reflects a mental exhaustion--I get tired of saying the same things over and over and then skip steps, which isn't the right thing to do. This is most often the case with day-game for me.

Other days, I'll warm up and consider the first two to be throw-aways, and will get going by the fourth girl and continue to chat whomever I can and run with it. This is most often the case with night game/bar game.

I live on a train line an hour away from the city, and I'm making it more of a point to chat up at least one or two girls on the train to warm up. Mixed results here, only two phone numbers achieved (out of 10-15 attempts), but one of them seems pretty into me. I also travel frequently and make it a point to chat up girls on my trips/in the subway or metro.

 

[Franco]

Rob,

When you go out to chat up women do you have a specific fundamental or goal in mind for the day or do you just go approach women and see what adventures you get into?

My approach toward learning might have been a bit different from the majority of the way people are learning here, but I am also capable of retaining a lot of information shortly after reading it. I read 80% or more of Chase's articles before beginning to cold approach, so since I knew that all of the information was in the back of my mind, my goal every time I went out was to take a woman to bed with me. When that didn't happen, I would just think back on the interaction and analyze it to figure out which point in the interaction was the one that prevented that from happening. Sometimes my goal would just be to get some phone numbers to set up dates, and if at some point that failed, then I would look back on that entire interaction and attempt to pinpoint where things went awry. Although, sometimes you just have to accept that the girl just wasn't interested, but even that becomes more clear once you've had enough interactions.

So in my opinion, if you find yourself capable of retaining information very well, then I would just try to take women to bed following the advice that you've stored in your brain from this website. But every time you fail, when you get home for the night, you need to think back on the interaction and immediately try to figure out where things wrong before you forget about everything that had happened.

On the other hand, if you find yourself only able to maintain small amounts of information at a time, then it would be better to set smaller goals (such as get a phone number or move a girl) and continue to practice those until you feel comfortable executing them without much extra thought. From that point, you can keep creating other smaller goals until you are capable of bedding women fluidly without having to cram tons of information into your head!

Hope that helps!

- Franco

 

[Mr.Rob]

@Franco- I'm kind of jealous that you can just read and store information so quickly, not so much for seduction but because I could really use that skill in school! I'm guessing you were the guy that studied one hour before the test and aced the whole thing while everyone that studied for 10 hours over the past 3 days was frantically trying to recall everything they committed to memory.

I like your advice Franco but that sounds like what Chase was talking about in goals vs. aims post on the discussion boards a while back.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the way it seems to me if you were practicing in the way you suggest, you wouldn't be focusing on any specific fundamentals. You'd more or less be covering a broad range (eye contact, voice tone, nonverbals .. etc) but not honing any of them to the T since it's impossible to focus on perfecting 6+ fundamentals at one time. Though you would be constantly working towards your aim "get experience and get laid", which is ultimately why were all here, you would be missing out on making the small perfections to your fundamentals that make you overall more attractive.

Now I know your from California, and allegedly everyone in California that gets laid has solid fundamentals, so this may not have been such a big issue for you. But for the average Joe I think having a goal or two + an AIM for the outing would be the best way to learn. Just as Chase mentioned in the forum post.

Though I dig the advice on learning speeds. I think your just a memorizing extraordinaire to remember all the nooks and nuances of Chases articles before cold approaching for the first time.

By the way Franco, what were your activity levels like when you first got into cold approaching? Like how many nights did you go out a week/how many approaches per night? Just out of curiosity since it sounds like you really stuck your nose into the grindstone and started plowing away getting experience when you first started.

Cheers,

-Rob

 

[Marty]

Rob:

I want to pick up on this particular aspect of your question, if I may:

Do you go from 0-60 or do you usually try and talk with whomever crosses your path to get some social momentum first?

I spent a long time struggling to understand why almost everyone on the forum recommended "shooting off a few blanks" first, when I never seemed to need that, and why so many others seemed to be doing multiple approaches within quite a short space of time, when I was quite unable to achieve that.

But the other day I read Chase's new article 3 Flavors of Sexy, and I realized I am always playing the game on "smooth" vibe (or attempting to), because I know no other way.

Reading in detail what he wrote (I am not going to reproduce it here unnecessarily), I immediately understood:

• Why my first approach of the day is quite often the most successful
• Why I can't get achieve the frequency of approaches that others are able to... for instance, if a second girl had witnessed my first approach it would destroy any sprezzatura, so I naturally never allow that to happen
• Why the girls who actually go on dates with me are always the high-value, very pretty ones with good careers
• Why at my current "clunky" phase of performance I am not achieving results beyond a certain sticking-point
• Why the "chatty" but less svelte women often give me numbers, but never follow through
• Why the very quiet and shy girls generally turn me down—politely
• Why the women I do take on dates give me such a tremendously hard time with screening and challenges, every date, without exception
• Why in the early days when I was still experimenting, if I occasionally approached medium- to low-value women, they looked at me as if I was quite insane (read: incongruent) and auto-rejected right off the bat

Quite a lot to take out from just one article. For me, it was one of his most useful yet.

Which "setting" do you think you play the game on, Rob?

-Marty

PS: here is a prima facie example of the "brooding, heartthrob" vibe that Chase also describes in that article. I can see how this might be very sexy for a woman.

 

[Richard]

Do you know where your weak points are in your fundamentals, vibe, etc?

What I'm about to say is a little controversial, and people may disagree, but whatever.

In my opinion, weaknesses don't exist, and everything in your life is an asset opposed to a liability.

Because everything has a yin and yang, you decide what something means to you

A man who, say, has no money for Christmas presents can frame the situation to ways:

As a negative: "Ohhh, I've got no money for presents for family, they're gonna hate me. It's so depressing not being able to buy things for them."

As a positive: "Ohh, I've got no money for presents! Terrific! That means I can use a little elbow grease and hand-make some gifts from the heart."

It's the same thing with your pick-up skills, everything you have is an asset to you. There is no vibe or skill or set of skills or whatever that is innately better than another, it's all up to you and how you use what's at your disposal.

-Richard

 

[Mr.Rob]

I like your perspective on the issue. And in fact that's what your saying is perspective. Though I'm afraid I lose you on a certain level.. perhaps I'm being overly logical but this is where I come to a dead rope (is that even a saying? lol.. sounds right) in your assessment.

So to me, based on your perspective Richard, if you just have poor fundamentals you reframe your weak points as follows. Let's say the man in question stutters when he talks, fails to look people in the eye when he talks to them, and slumps over at all times.
Then he would reframe that as
"Ohh I've got poor fundamentals, girls aren't going to respond too me. It's so depressing being unattractive."
vs.
"Ohh I've got poor fundamentals! Awesome! That means I have something to work on to occupy my time with and grow as a human being!"

But at the end of the day he still has places in his overall attractiveness that aren't strong (weak). Thus he needs to correct these things in order to become more attractive in my mind. But your saying he can get by with poor fundamentals.

I don't think I understand what your getting at though I like the thought of your theory. Quite positive as I'm always trying to change my thoughts to a more positive optimistic outlook by reframing situations.

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@ Marty-
Wasn't gonna leave you out bud.

I have to agree with you on that call about playing on smooth and those are interesting observations you made on your own game.
I've had a lot of times where my first approach of the day is the most successful as well without any warm-ups talking to anyone (my last LR for example and numerous FR's).

I saw a video on youtube the other day where this guy was claiming to be a PUA pro and recommends getting rejected 5-6 times to get warmed up before getting serious about your interactions. Though when he got rejected he would call out "that girl was such a bitch anyway who needs her!" to protect his ego.. nonetheless made me feel good about my own headspace.

I think I'm capable of operating on talking mode and do quite often but I get much better results playing on smooth as it fits my personality of Mr. Chill and cool sprezzatura man. Not that that's me but my ego try's to get me to believe it. I think I probably more accurately fit Mr. 0069 Try hard Bond and women just play along to not completely destroy my ego lol. Or at least somewhere in between.

I think that the best combination for doing lots of approaches is talkative sexy that transitions into smooth sexy at the proper time thus eliminating resistance.

Cool points gentlemen.

-Rob

 

[Richard]

Rob,

I appreciate your take on what I said as well, you've brought up an excellent point

Let's see if I can explain things without going overboard haha, I love this subject.

If you've got poor fundamentals, what's that a result of? Most likely a perception of himself, or others responses to him.

If he instead frames it as a positive, the shift in his perception of self causes a shift in others responses to himself.

Beliefs + Congruency = Success

Poor fundamentals effectively framed as strengths (beliefs) will then affect his body congruency. If he sees everything he has as a strength, others will too.

Think about what is most attractive in guys for women? Confidence, right? (and if confidence isn't highest it's certainly top 3). How is confidence displayed without words? Through fundamentals, right?

You know that a man with great posture can be assumed to be a confident man, right? Then it's also safe to assume that you know when a man who is confident in himself shows it in his posture, right? Right

So, what happens when a man frames weaknesses as strengths, and believes that they are truly strengths? What happens when a man confident in those new "strengths" goes out and meets new people? They also see those strengths because they'll show up in his posture, in his physiology.

NOW, that's not to say that a man with poor fundamentals shouldn't consciously work on fundamentals if they benefit him, I just wanted to show that consciously working on your fundamentals isn't the only way to make progress.

 

[PrettyDecent]

How do you personally target where your weakpoints are in your game/fundamentals?

I had a bit of a longer learning curve, so perhaps others in the same position will find this useful.

I run down the list of common sticky points, pinpoint which area I'm struggling most, read as many articles as possible on that subject (both on GC and other sources), and go out specifically to tackle the one or two sticky points. If I go out consistently for ~1.5/ 2 weeks, the sticky point will vanish.

When you go out to chat up women do you have a specific fundamental or goal in mind for the day or do you just go approach women and see what adventures you get into?

The times I made the most progress, I did the first (but usually led to the second). Deliberate practice is the only way to better yourself in a reasonable amount of time.

Do you go from 0-60 or do you usually try and talk with whomever crosses your path to get some social momentum first?

Depends how many times I've gone out that week.

~Nick