How do you talk on dates, when you feel burned out mentally?

[persona]

So I've realized that this is an issue I have. I'm a naturally introverted guy so I have those days where sometimes I just don't feel like talking to people, and I just gotta be alone to unwind. The problem is those days don't always coincide well with events that are happening, or if I have a date planned. So it happens that I might go on a date with a girl on one day and it will go spectacularly. Then a few days later we'll have a follow-up that goes horribly because my brain hasn't exactly recovered from the last outing. What happens is usually conversation gets stiff and jolted and from there everything becomes an uphill battle to win her over again.

Does anyone have any techniques or experiences similar on how to overcome this?

 

[Howell]

I interpret this in myself primarily as the result of me not moving things fast enough. The reason things aren't as exciting on a second date for you or her is that it's a second date and things have still been primarily cerebral, when you both probably want more than just good conversation, right?

And if it really is that your brain needs more time to recover, having an escalation process already in place can take off a lot of the pressure and stress -- less mental heavylifting for you this way.

Feeling you need to win her over is also a problem. You want it to be the other way around -- you want her feeling that way, not you.

Moving faster, more boldly, and with a clearer process will probably be a major part of your solution.

Howell

 

[persona]

Thanks for the advice Howell, I'll try to move faster from now on. But I feel like its not the lack of excitement that gets me, its more the fact that I'm feeling kinda burnt out. Rather than boredom, the only thing on my mind is "I'm feeling so tired I just wanna head home and rest".

 

[PinotNoir]

You can actually use this to your advantage to make her talk more. Since you'll be drained, you'll naturally want her to do most of the talking.

Days like this, I usually get all of my energy right when I see her and we smile at each other. It's kind of like a natural instinct that kicks in. But the more and more dates you go on, the more you'll become numb to this effect.

Here are some general things you can try:

1) Listen to inspirational music or watch some inspirational YouTube videos or read a good GC article.

2) Watch a bit of porn before going out (just to arouse your attention, not to get you so hot and bothered that you have to spank it).

3) Take a nap or something else relaxing to recharge and unwind.

4) Tell her you're feeling a bit drained and ask if she'd just come over to your place instead and make dinner together and watch a movie. Or, even reschedule. Weak men are generally too afraid to do either of these, so by just telling her up front that you're drained from work and either suggesting something more chill or rescheduling, she's going to perceive you as a guy with abundance.

If you don't have abundance in your life, then I definitely suggest 1, 2, or 3. Fortune favors the bold. Be a risk taker. Get some tenacity and grit in your life. Pull it from the inside and become a rock in stormy seas.

 

[persona]

That's actually...really smart. I've never really thought of it that way before, but I'll definitely give it a shot. Thanks!