How do you text the ball back into your court?

[Hue]

I just went on a coffee date with this very attractive girl. Brought her back to my house, we made out and she was feeling up my dick, but she had work and eventually left before sex. Then she texted me 15 minutes after that mentioning something from the conversation earlier. I waited about an hour, and then responded. Since she texted me only moments after leaving my house, I assumed she was very excited. So, I send her:


Me: 1st text joking response to hers, irrelevant but positive. 2nd text: "But hey I really liked getting coffee.. wish we had more time. Care to keep the ball rolling sometime this weekend?"

Her: "Lol (in response to the first). Yeah I'll let you know when I'm free"



I'm fairly confident she'll actually end up texting / booty calling me during the weekend, but I dislike how she put this. Before she left my house we had a dialogue like,

Me: "Okay, maybe we can meet up some other time then ".

Her: "Yea, I'll text you" - not a fan of her texting me first, kind of my issue here

Me: "Alright, we might do something if you're lucky".

She thought this was funny and we made out a bit more, but still.


Thoughts on what to text her, if anything, to gain more control of meeting up with her?

- G.A.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

She plays around with your willie, but she has to go to work. A legitimate excuse to leave. But you got gamey on her, "maybe you'll see me if you're lucky." And this is OK if you keep up with that frame.

Right now, you're Mr. Coolio.

But then you text her this

"But hey I really liked getting coffee.. wish we had more time. Care to keep the ball rolling sometime this weekend?"

That's not gamey. That's romantic. It can work, if you were like that in person.

See the incongruence? Letting her text you isn't that big of a deal. But, if she was dismissive about it and gamey, then I would have ignored it (and maybe a sassy tone by her is what made you reel at the notion of her texting you first).

Find out your time windows earlier. Maybe should have played it more chill with her and then met up with her that night. If you know you don't have a lot of time, it's best to err on the side of too passive and then end the interaction yourself.

My MO these days for persistence is

1. if we really like each other, set up another date then and there

2. if it was meh or I messed up the escalation, let her text me first after our hangout

I've got like 12 part series on persistence in the works. Should clarify all this stuff.

But again, your problem is

Mr. Not Very Attainable and Playing Games -> Mr. Romantic Wants to See Me Again

Confusing to her.

Hector

 

[Hue]

Thanks for moving this to the General section.. still kind of new to the forum.

I had that thought, and you're right it doesn't coincide all that well. The vibe in person has been mostly sexual thus far and she's definitely attracted to me. I only deep dived a little, but a couple bits of our conversation have lightly suggested romance.

So you suggest I ditch that and focus more on being sexual moving forward? And despite my distaste with this, I leave it up to her to text me for the next few days?

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

I mean, yeah, she told you she'll text you

If she doesn't, she didn't want the D. After a no-show when the ball is in her court, you gotta wait a long time. Sometimes it takes weeks for her to get a round to you, maybe months.

HEctor

 

[Hue]

So, she never ended up texting me back to my surprise. I knew that she was still attracted, so this morning I sent her this:

"Hey K**, how goes it? Was just thinking how I haven't shot you a text in a long minute. Hope you've not been a *complete* loose cannon since our last rendevu" (* * is a sub for italics)

Two hours later she sent me this:

Her: "Hey Hueman ! Just been really busy with school. I was bothered with something you did or didn't do rather, the polite thing to do when you ask a girl out is pay for her meal. We had great conversation and we have a lot in common but sadly that small thing turned me off. (I laughed a bit after seeing this. Lol, I find this one of the stupidest social constructs)

Me: "Thanks for bringing that to my attention, but my philosophy with that is, on the first date.. I don't really know the person. And with coffee, you pay before the date even starts. Under that guise, what was I to do, reimburse you? (; haha"

I did my best to explain to honesty explain my actions while trying to make fun of the whole thing. Now, if she's sensitive enough, she could totally auto reject with this. I'm not that worried because this is weeks after we went on our date, and I really don't have much to lose here, other than another chance, and a small one at that, of getting that ass (that big, round, black ass of hers).

Fingers crossed.

 

[Hue]

The push and pull rages on. I'm deciding to call this girl Catfish because she's a struggler.

In response to my last text explaining my behavior the conversation continues with this:

Her: "Not at all, it's just something I admire"
Me: "Okay Catfish, maybe, if you behave I'll consider it next time . What's your schedule look like next week?"

This morning:

Her: "No thanks !" (woah there)
Me: "Really? I had a good place in mind for dinner after exams, you're welcome to come"
Her: "What place" (the catfish watches the worm on hook)
Me: "*Average-Nice Restaurant*, not as homey as *place I work*, but their margs & quesadillas are on point (a-okay hand emoji) are you busy next Thursday?
Her: "Love that place, I'll think about it cuz you started on a bad note" (catfish approaches hook)
Me: "Okey dokey, that's just how I do things.. ball's in your court Kim (;"

Tick-tock-tick aaand..

Her: "Guess I'll give you one more chance :/" (catfish bites the hook, not overly excited about how she agreed, but better than nothing. I'll text her back to set it up in a bit)

I see this going one of two ways

A. She'll actually just flake and was really that off-put by me not paying for her coffee

B. She's deliberately giving me mixed signals (although more negative than positive) and is down.

We'll find out I suppose...

Until next time,

Hueman