Hi all,
I've been seeing this woman for a little over four months now. She's a freshman, and I'm a junior in college (well as of last semester). We dated, had the relationship talk about a month in, I wanted something serious, she wanted something casual. I decided to stick with it, and now it's sort of naturally progressed to something serious, although we haven't officially titled ourselves bf/gf. But it doesn't really matter to me cause I think the actions are more important than us just saying that. Anyways that is a little background.
I've been her first relationship, she had made out with a few guys before, but I'm the first real thing that she's had. Over the semester, we made out a lot, and progressively got to more and more sexual things. It was slow but consistent. I made a vast majority of the moves in terms of having us try more and more sexual things. Time to time, she would ask me to do something, but overall I've been the one making the major moves. So she had gotten to a point where she was considering having sex with me, mostly out of just curiosity though, not seriously though.
Now last week, she is in Boston, and I am in Florida. Sometime early in the week, we're chatting whilst I'm hanging out with friends. Typically we'll send each other pictures of ourselves, so we did that. Won't bore you with the details but she was chatting with her friend about sex, and specifically talking about me and her friend's bf. Next morning, she said that she would love to have sex, but it isn't worth the risk. We then had a side conversation about birth control, at the end she said she was too nervous to ask for them. The next day she is with more friends, and they talk about more sex things. She even said that she was going to give me oral the next time we meet. She later told me that she had been imagining me fucking her. We even started sending nude photos of each other. She also started to seriously consider getting pills, and at one point asked me how my pull out game was. So basically she had been getting progressively more and more excited about sex. I even texted her a long, sex story describing me having sex with her, foreplay on all. Throughout she commented how hot it was.
Alright, that's all the relevant background info. So I get back into Boston this past Sunday, and she tells me that she is not going on the pill. Ask why, she said because of adverse long term side effects that she had talked about with her sister. So of course I was like "Shit, it's slipping away". She said that she wants to have sex with me, but doesn't think she should. I talk her up a lot about birth control pills and alternative birth control methods. Eventually I got her to say the real reason she doesn't want to is not because of possible pregnancy and what not, but because she just doesn't any regrets, and that she got caught up in the desire cause of her friends and me. This was all after she talked with her sister.
Sorry for the long post, but I felt that was all detail I needed to include. So the dilemma I have now is, do I push hard to have sex with her. Part of me wants to, because she clearly wants to have sex. I have in the past exposed her to the wonders of sexual experiences, and would love to show her the wonders of sex itself, and release her from her socially constrained cage of being seen as the "nice, innocent" girl. Believe me she has had that feeling in the past, at the start of the relationship, she could barely do any sort of PDA because she feared that people would assume we're having sex. However, a part of me still feels kind of iffy about pushing hard on it, as it is her virginity, and I wouldn't want to her to heavily regret it later. Guess I feel this way cause my ex told me that she cried after the first time she had sex, and I wouldn't want to make anyone cry from losing their virginity. So what should I do then? Be the man to lead her to her primitive desire, risking her regretting afterwards? Or wait, as I have been in the relationship, for her to be more comfortable? And if the answer is yes, I should try persistently to have sex with her, how should I go about doing that? Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you very much!
I've been seeing this woman for a little over four months now. She's a freshman, and I'm a junior in college (well as of last semester). We dated, had the relationship talk about a month in, I wanted something serious, she wanted something casual. I decided to stick with it, and now it's sort of naturally progressed to something serious, although we haven't officially titled ourselves bf/gf. But it doesn't really matter to me cause I think the actions are more important than us just saying that. Anyways that is a little background.
I've been her first relationship, she had made out with a few guys before, but I'm the first real thing that she's had. Over the semester, we made out a lot, and progressively got to more and more sexual things. It was slow but consistent. I made a vast majority of the moves in terms of having us try more and more sexual things. Time to time, she would ask me to do something, but overall I've been the one making the major moves. So she had gotten to a point where she was considering having sex with me, mostly out of just curiosity though, not seriously though.
Now last week, she is in Boston, and I am in Florida. Sometime early in the week, we're chatting whilst I'm hanging out with friends. Typically we'll send each other pictures of ourselves, so we did that. Won't bore you with the details but she was chatting with her friend about sex, and specifically talking about me and her friend's bf. Next morning, she said that she would love to have sex, but it isn't worth the risk. We then had a side conversation about birth control, at the end she said she was too nervous to ask for them. The next day she is with more friends, and they talk about more sex things. She even said that she was going to give me oral the next time we meet. She later told me that she had been imagining me fucking her. We even started sending nude photos of each other. She also started to seriously consider getting pills, and at one point asked me how my pull out game was. So basically she had been getting progressively more and more excited about sex. I even texted her a long, sex story describing me having sex with her, foreplay on all. Throughout she commented how hot it was.
Alright, that's all the relevant background info. So I get back into Boston this past Sunday, and she tells me that she is not going on the pill. Ask why, she said because of adverse long term side effects that she had talked about with her sister. So of course I was like "Shit, it's slipping away". She said that she wants to have sex with me, but doesn't think she should. I talk her up a lot about birth control pills and alternative birth control methods. Eventually I got her to say the real reason she doesn't want to is not because of possible pregnancy and what not, but because she just doesn't any regrets, and that she got caught up in the desire cause of her friends and me. This was all after she talked with her sister.
Sorry for the long post, but I felt that was all detail I needed to include. So the dilemma I have now is, do I push hard to have sex with her. Part of me wants to, because she clearly wants to have sex. I have in the past exposed her to the wonders of sexual experiences, and would love to show her the wonders of sex itself, and release her from her socially constrained cage of being seen as the "nice, innocent" girl. Believe me she has had that feeling in the past, at the start of the relationship, she could barely do any sort of PDA because she feared that people would assume we're having sex. However, a part of me still feels kind of iffy about pushing hard on it, as it is her virginity, and I wouldn't want to her to heavily regret it later. Guess I feel this way cause my ex told me that she cried after the first time she had sex, and I wouldn't want to make anyone cry from losing their virginity. So what should I do then? Be the man to lead her to her primitive desire, risking her regretting afterwards? Or wait, as I have been in the relationship, for her to be more comfortable? And if the answer is yes, I should try persistently to have sex with her, how should I go about doing that? Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you very much!
