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- Aug 5, 2015
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Bboy,
Her looks as gauged by people in general doesn't mean anything unless you are pretty shallow and are worried about what others think. What is important is that she is sexually attractive to you. You want a woman that turns you on.
SGent
Her looks as gauged by people in general doesn't mean anything unless you are pretty shallow and are worried about what others think. What is important is that she is sexually attractive to you. You want a woman that turns you on.
SGent
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2015
- Messages
- 43
Considering your already in an relationship with the person I'm assuming you would of already factored that in.
In a relationship you still want to keep your fundamentals on point and be getting lots of pre selecting social proof like if you weren't in a relationship
I'm avoid relationships cause they have no significant value for me at this point in my life
But from what iv seen from my friends and others if you don't keep the things mentioned about up some girls may lose attraction or may get hit on by men who excel in these area's and might reevaluate if you are of her value.
If you mean how important are looks in establishing a relationship
The answer would be the same as before looks alone aren't enough to get you a relationship and get you sex usually if you are good looking you may get more pre selection and social proof which may lead to girls in your social circle trying to get you
Or when you initially meet a girl she may be instantly attracted to you but sealing the deal or intiating a relationship is irrelevant of looks
Good looks just give you more oppertunities (which at a low level would help a lot since you fuck up more but at a high level won't be as significant )
Hope this is what you where after
In a relationship you still want to keep your fundamentals on point and be getting lots of pre selecting social proof like if you weren't in a relationship
I'm avoid relationships cause they have no significant value for me at this point in my life
But from what iv seen from my friends and others if you don't keep the things mentioned about up some girls may lose attraction or may get hit on by men who excel in these area's and might reevaluate if you are of her value.
If you mean how important are looks in establishing a relationship
The answer would be the same as before looks alone aren't enough to get you a relationship and get you sex usually if you are good looking you may get more pre selection and social proof which may lead to girls in your social circle trying to get you
Or when you initially meet a girl she may be instantly attracted to you but sealing the deal or intiating a relationship is irrelevant of looks
Good looks just give you more oppertunities (which at a low level would help a lot since you fuck up more but at a high level won't be as significant )
Hope this is what you where after
A good way to figure out where you (or anyone) stand is this:
So you're in a relationship with this girl. Imagine now one day you both were at a bar and it lit ablaze!
You luckily got out alive with a broken arm. Her...well she's mortified... In the process of saving you, she got struck by a burning pillar and suffered severe burns. Her face looks like a corpse.
Will you two still remain together?
Lawliet
So you're in a relationship with this girl. Imagine now one day you both were at a bar and it lit ablaze!
You luckily got out alive with a broken arm. Her...well she's mortified... In the process of saving you, she got struck by a burning pillar and suffered severe burns. Her face looks like a corpse.
Will you two still remain together?
Lawliet
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
I probably should have given some more info:
I'm asking this as someone who is not in and has no promising LTR prospects atm. I'm merely asking this to decide how hard I should screen for her to be good looking. Basically rn, I'm asking myself if should I include all girls who I consider "cute" for potential LTRs (probably 20% American of girls my age), or should I only include the ones who I find very physically attractive (top 5-10% of the population).
Moreover, how much do they even matter once the relationship is more mature (after 6-12 months in)?
I'm asking this as someone who is not in and has no promising LTR prospects atm. I'm merely asking this to decide how hard I should screen for her to be good looking. Basically rn, I'm asking myself if should I include all girls who I consider "cute" for potential LTRs (probably 20% American of girls my age), or should I only include the ones who I find very physically attractive (top 5-10% of the population).
Moreover, how much do they even matter once the relationship is more mature (after 6-12 months in)?
It depends on what other characteristics your looking for and value eg personality, energy, conversation skills etc. If your after the hottest thing you can get then go for it but keep in mind her looks aren't going to be like that forever. Physical attraction has to be there at some point in being attracted for a relationship but it isn't the be and end all especially thinking ahead long term where if things get serious it's going to be other characteristics that help keep it going. Not knowing how old you are, you could go for girls a bit younger so you have them in more 'peak' years so to speak but eventually the aging process catches up.
-B
-B
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- Sep 14, 2013
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- 1,016
Bboy100 said:
I think looks don't matter that much in a LTR, but you still have to find her attractive. What really matters is your chemistry with her. Are you able to enjoy yourself when you spend time with her? Of course, it would be good if you find her very attractive and you have great chemistry with her, but IMO chemistry > looks.
Even if she's very attractive, you're gonna get used to her looks after a while, and then you're left with her personality and whatever other values she's bringing into a relationship. So sure screen for girls you find attractive, but looks shouldn't be the only factor you consider when you're thinking about getting into a LTR.
Note: don't use this as an excuse to not go for physically attractive women. I would say once you've reached a level and can attract the hot girls, then you can decide whether u want to settle with a girl who's cute and you've a great connection with. For now, try every type of girl until you have enough reference experience to know what you want in a LTR.
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2012
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Bboy100,
This post by Chase on a previous topic should help clarify some questions: Dating Someone Less Physically Attractive
- Franco
This post by Chase on a previous topic should help clarify some questions: Dating Someone Less Physically Attractive
- Franco
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Thanks for the feedback everyone! So based on the information here, it seems that a girl is physically attractive enough when:
1. I actually feel physically attraction for her.
2. I have no concern that I'm "settling" in terms of physical appearance. In other words, there is no voice in the back of my mind telling me that she's not good looking enough for me.
This seems right to me, and was the assumption I was going off of so far.
On a related note, the post Franco linked is deeply concerning to me. Mainly because there was a consensus that for the most part, even the higher level guys meet only one or two GF quality girls per year. This is very demoralizing and maybe even a little frightening to me, because this means that no matter how good I get at this, there's always a chance that I'll never actually be with one of these girls. Mainly because as we all know, this is a numbers game. And if I'm drawing from a pool of one or two...well obviously, the numbers aren't exactly in my favor. :/
1. I actually feel physically attraction for her.
2. I have no concern that I'm "settling" in terms of physical appearance. In other words, there is no voice in the back of my mind telling me that she's not good looking enough for me.
This seems right to me, and was the assumption I was going off of so far.
On a related note, the post Franco linked is deeply concerning to me. Mainly because there was a consensus that for the most part, even the higher level guys meet only one or two GF quality girls per year. This is very demoralizing and maybe even a little frightening to me, because this means that no matter how good I get at this, there's always a chance that I'll never actually be with one of these girls. Mainly because as we all know, this is a numbers game. And if I'm drawing from a pool of one or two...well obviously, the numbers aren't exactly in my favor. :/
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2013
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- 467
Bboy100 said:
You can greatly speed up the process by putting yourself in environments where girlfriend quality girls are abundant. I'll use myself as an example. A girl's attractiveness has to really blow my socks off to be considered as a girlfriend prospect. You know the feeling, where you HAVE to approach her or you'll be beating yourself up about it forever. Problem is, my daily routine doesn't have me encountering girls like that on a regular basis. If I had to guess, it's probably less then a handful a month. At this rate, if I were to keep doing the same thing, it would most likely take me a LONG to find a girl that ticks all the boxes. So what do you do?
You must frequent locations with LOTS of the kind of girls you want and start playing the numbers game. I know in my city that the trendy stunners are abundant downtown since there's so much foot traffic. As much as it annoys to be to go out of my way and take a 40 minute train ride to "sarge" downtown, I know it must be done. Another option is to get a job or move to the location where there are lots of the kind of girls you like. That way you don't have to go out of your way to encounter these girls.
There's no way around it, if you want to catch big fish, you have to fish in waters where lots of the big fish hang out.
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BBoy,
If I remember right you are in a smaller town going to college. Your options may be limited there but look around. There are usually places where the adults past college age frequent. Try to stores, library, churches, restaurants and bars (small town bars can be scary) in town. Try some of the local civic organizations.
But you may have to do what ProblemSolving said and wait until you graduate. Shoot for a big city to work in. Here is ASKMEN.com top ten list for hot women. http://www.askmen.com/top_10/travel_top ... p_ten.html. I have send other post on this subject. While you are in college try to get a summer internship in one of these cities.
Right now my best advice is to work on getting yourself out of the I need a GF mode. Figure you are in a situation that is not conducive to getting a girlfriend so enjoy your circumstances as they are.
On a side note since I don't know where you are if you are in the Montreal region there is a small city Trois-Rivières a short distance east of Montreal. It is a college town with a large portion of friendly hot French Canadian girls. The party atmosphere is awesome. The main street in town closes to auto traffic on the weekend and the strip becomes a big party. The last time I was there was during the week in the fall and it was still a blast. The ratio of hot girls to average girls was hard to believe.
SGent
If I remember right you are in a smaller town going to college. Your options may be limited there but look around. There are usually places where the adults past college age frequent. Try to stores, library, churches, restaurants and bars (small town bars can be scary) in town. Try some of the local civic organizations.
But you may have to do what ProblemSolving said and wait until you graduate. Shoot for a big city to work in. Here is ASKMEN.com top ten list for hot women. http://www.askmen.com/top_10/travel_top ... p_ten.html. I have send other post on this subject. While you are in college try to get a summer internship in one of these cities.
Right now my best advice is to work on getting yourself out of the I need a GF mode. Figure you are in a situation that is not conducive to getting a girlfriend so enjoy your circumstances as they are.
On a side note since I don't know where you are if you are in the Montreal region there is a small city Trois-Rivières a short distance east of Montreal. It is a college town with a large portion of friendly hot French Canadian girls. The party atmosphere is awesome. The main street in town closes to auto traffic on the weekend and the strip becomes a big party. The last time I was there was during the week in the fall and it was still a blast. The ratio of hot girls to average girls was hard to believe.
SGent