- Joined
- Nov 12, 2024
- Messages
- 91
I think I need to learn the art of lingering-or if it's not an art then the willingness
I went swing dancing tonight. When I got there it was all lock step neurotypical vibe. They were actually doing a line dance, and it was very Minnesota spunk. I didn't enjoy it but then it thinned out and I saw a friend and he said hi and asked me how I was doing, and said I'm good shit and I felt better and I danced with one person and then one other (judiciously choosing so as to not energy drain myself) and then it being after 12:00 I went home to leave on a high note
But then i paused. I was thinking on the whole way back I should circle back and at home I decided to. I thought they were open till 2:00 but I guess it's only till 1 so it was over but it really got me thinking.
My thoughts are that this is a missing piece.. a huge and actually critical missing piece.. and one that don't even think twice about it but I don't know I welcome your guys weight in
I'm not saying I have game and I'm not saying they're not other huge structural problems but if you do have good game and if there are no structural problems then you still can only harvest when it's harvest season
Is this something people implicitly know?
The one time I stayed till the end, all the friends and everyone were talking and it was so down to earth, but before that it was all performative mask bullshit and I think that turns me off as a neurodivergent.
I think based on what gpg says especially when people aren't drinking they're all in mask mode performing bs social rituals, denying desire, being loud etc. and it exhausts me and also doesn't facilitate connection but they other people implicitly know to wait till the end where reality happens and The masks fall.. and that's their hidden strategy or secret after all their social performance rituals. For me if this is true I never realized it and therefore only ever got the shit phase which is also likely more off-putting and offensive to me especially in Minnesota. I was always willing to be direct or transparent from the get go it didn't make sense to me why other people can be the same why they needed to wait until they were too tired to keep up their masks.
I also have a memory of leaving a party early, and at the places next party, one of these two girls was angry or annoyed at me where formerly she was very warm. I left early at the first (or really Midway) but these two girls (who were the only two I was attracted to or had a chance with at this degenerate party (lol) were busy doing their thing with othere and I didn't find them accessible
So does this matter? Is this something people implicitly know, because I don't think the game / pick up community talks about these basic things that much.
If its important as a principle, then this could be it's seriousness: a person couldn't theory have the best social dynamics the best read on things be the best highest value man but if he's not around during the harvest season the last hour of a 5-hour whatever he's not going to get shit and he's also going to be bitter and confused and resentful in life and that's why though other principles help you grow and win at life, there may be certain ones you can't do without. You may have done four hours of positive work but failed to stay for the last two and get none of the benefit and this could happen repeatedly
In any case I definitely need to develop the art of lingering and simply the willingness.
That's part of what made me do well in the church scene I now think. There were other factors but that has to be a big one. I'm thinking that most of the art of lingering is just two things. First it's the willingness and second it's not letting familiarity breed contempt. After that I think things may just naturally happen if they're meant to happen. Note this is completely the opposite of hustle culture or efficiency culture
I went swing dancing tonight. When I got there it was all lock step neurotypical vibe. They were actually doing a line dance, and it was very Minnesota spunk. I didn't enjoy it but then it thinned out and I saw a friend and he said hi and asked me how I was doing, and said I'm good shit and I felt better and I danced with one person and then one other (judiciously choosing so as to not energy drain myself) and then it being after 12:00 I went home to leave on a high note
But then i paused. I was thinking on the whole way back I should circle back and at home I decided to. I thought they were open till 2:00 but I guess it's only till 1 so it was over but it really got me thinking.
My thoughts are that this is a missing piece.. a huge and actually critical missing piece.. and one that don't even think twice about it but I don't know I welcome your guys weight in
I'm not saying I have game and I'm not saying they're not other huge structural problems but if you do have good game and if there are no structural problems then you still can only harvest when it's harvest season
Is this something people implicitly know?
The one time I stayed till the end, all the friends and everyone were talking and it was so down to earth, but before that it was all performative mask bullshit and I think that turns me off as a neurodivergent.
I think based on what gpg says especially when people aren't drinking they're all in mask mode performing bs social rituals, denying desire, being loud etc. and it exhausts me and also doesn't facilitate connection but they other people implicitly know to wait till the end where reality happens and The masks fall.. and that's their hidden strategy or secret after all their social performance rituals. For me if this is true I never realized it and therefore only ever got the shit phase which is also likely more off-putting and offensive to me especially in Minnesota. I was always willing to be direct or transparent from the get go it didn't make sense to me why other people can be the same why they needed to wait until they were too tired to keep up their masks.
I also have a memory of leaving a party early, and at the places next party, one of these two girls was angry or annoyed at me where formerly she was very warm. I left early at the first (or really Midway) but these two girls (who were the only two I was attracted to or had a chance with at this degenerate party (lol) were busy doing their thing with othere and I didn't find them accessible
So does this matter? Is this something people implicitly know, because I don't think the game / pick up community talks about these basic things that much.
If its important as a principle, then this could be it's seriousness: a person couldn't theory have the best social dynamics the best read on things be the best highest value man but if he's not around during the harvest season the last hour of a 5-hour whatever he's not going to get shit and he's also going to be bitter and confused and resentful in life and that's why though other principles help you grow and win at life, there may be certain ones you can't do without. You may have done four hours of positive work but failed to stay for the last two and get none of the benefit and this could happen repeatedly
In any case I definitely need to develop the art of lingering and simply the willingness.
That's part of what made me do well in the church scene I now think. There were other factors but that has to be a big one. I'm thinking that most of the art of lingering is just two things. First it's the willingness and second it's not letting familiarity breed contempt. After that I think things may just naturally happen if they're meant to happen. Note this is completely the opposite of hustle culture or efficiency culture
