Ok so i pissed her off by telling her that she was being unattentive. Now she is gone all cold and silent on me. She said dont talk to me. I got a bit needy and she asked me to wait for her text and not to text her anymore and that her mood was bad. Its been a day and still she hasnt texted me? Now i know the standard procedure is to let her come to me and it usually works but this time it feels off. What is the usual time a girl can stay without contact when she is angry?
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pks391,
Need more details on this one. What caused you to tell her that she was being inattentive? Generally, this is something you should never have to be scolding a girl for -- if she's being inattentive, it means she's either upset about something and waiting for you to address it, or she's losing interest in you as a man. So scolding her for it is just going to make her really frustrated and annoyed because she already feels like you aren't doing what you need to be doing.
- Franco
Need more details on this one. What caused you to tell her that she was being inattentive? Generally, this is something you should never have to be scolding a girl for -- if she's being inattentive, it means she's either upset about something and waiting for you to address it, or she's losing interest in you as a man. So scolding her for it is just going to make her really frustrated and annoyed because she already feels like you aren't doing what you need to be doing.
- Franco
Franco,Franco said:
We were texting and talking over chat on WhatsApp and we were having a really close chat and suddenly one of her guy friends comes online and starts texting her. She told me not to mind and to continue talking to her. So i did exactly that, i did not mind. But as we were talking some intimate things, I asked her if she was thinking about me and missing me the night before to which she replied i dont want to answer your question. Then I told her i was missing her last night and she just replied with an ok. Then i told her not to reply like that, she already knows i dont like it, she simply said fine just continue talking to me. (She was chatting with us both at that time.) So i just said that does that nice guy need your full attention? She got angry and told me that you know i am not interested in him yet you make me angry by saying such things. If you think he is my priority then fine. Then she said i dont want to talk to you as for now i am not in the mood to talk, ill talk to you later. I then replied that i dont mind if she talks to him and not to misunderstand what i said. She said she was not angry and she also said am i telling you anything? She said i dont wanna talk because im not in the mood and i cant help it. ill ttyl. i acted a bit needy by saying that will you text today?? because tomorrow you will be busy and she said I dont wanna talk, im telling you the last time. I responded by telling her to stop with the threats and i dont like it. She said fine. I then told her ill text her later to which she responded "Wait for my text" i said okay and ended it. Its been a day and a half and she has not replied although she keeps coming online. I know i have made some serious mistakes here but her mood swung really badly here. We were having an intimate chat and suddenly her mood swung so bad.
Now I think the best solution here is to leave her alone and wait but i still think there's something. How long do you think she will be mad at me before she texts me again? She also has another complaint that whenever she talks to me she feels like I make it sound like its only her that wants me and not the other way around. Kinda like an extreme chase frame. She even told me this by saying why is it always me that wants you?
P.S. its been awhile since we chatted, her emotions were extreme for me before but now she has cooled off a bit. She still is attracted and still misses me.
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pks391,
All of this is not good on your end. This is very needy and, for lack of a better word, "feminine" behavior from you. These are things you would expect a girlfriend to maybe do to you, but instead you're doing them to her. It's possible that she really cares about you, but all of this "do you miss me?" and asking about other guys needs to end immediately. Probing her about it is only going to make her do it more.
Also, never ask about when your girlfriend is going to text you. That's also needy behavior. She'll text you when she wants to text you, and you'll text her when you need to text her.
I'll assume things are still fine since you stated they were at the end of your post, but all of this behavior needs to stop immediately or you're going to push her away, and in this type of scenario, I doubt she would want you back. So make sure to double check all of your actions and stop yourself before you do things that request validation from her. You are not a girl -- that is her job. Assume the man role and keep yourself busy with your own work unless she has a problem she wants to bring up to you. Otherwise, don't seek attention/validation.
- Franco
All of this is not good on your end. This is very needy and, for lack of a better word, "feminine" behavior from you. These are things you would expect a girlfriend to maybe do to you, but instead you're doing them to her. It's possible that she really cares about you, but all of this "do you miss me?" and asking about other guys needs to end immediately. Probing her about it is only going to make her do it more.
Also, never ask about when your girlfriend is going to text you. That's also needy behavior. She'll text you when she wants to text you, and you'll text her when you need to text her.
I'll assume things are still fine since you stated they were at the end of your post, but all of this behavior needs to stop immediately or you're going to push her away, and in this type of scenario, I doubt she would want you back. So make sure to double check all of your actions and stop yourself before you do things that request validation from her. You are not a girl -- that is her job. Assume the man role and keep yourself busy with your own work unless she has a problem she wants to bring up to you. Otherwise, don't seek attention/validation.
- Franco
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pks391,
It needs to become less bothersome. I'll go 3 or 4 days without talking to my girlfriend sometimes, so you need to become less dependent on hearing from her than you've been up until now.
I would probably just wait however long it takes for her to contact you. She's not really doing anything wrong here, so you need to give her time to cool off and feel like she wants to talk to you again. And then when she does, you need to cut out all of the needy behavior from your interactions. She needs to see the change in you before it's too late.
- Franco
It needs to become less bothersome. I'll go 3 or 4 days without talking to my girlfriend sometimes, so you need to become less dependent on hearing from her than you've been up until now.
I would probably just wait however long it takes for her to contact you. She's not really doing anything wrong here, so you need to give her time to cool off and feel like she wants to talk to you again. And then when she does, you need to cut out all of the needy behavior from your interactions. She needs to see the change in you before it's too late.
- Franco