How much fun do you have with other guy friends?

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

I'm trying to find out if I'm just boring or it's another issue. Around girls, I can be playful and flirty, which makes our interactions fun. But recently I just took some time off to go meet a long time buddy of mine in Europe. We traveled around Spain and etc. It was just two buddies catching up.

We walked around all day, took some pictures, and talked about the old times.

But on our third day, we kind of ran out of things to talk about. I liked taking pictures visiting touristy areas but he seemed jut out of it. By the last day, he was like nice seeing you dude and left.

I invited him out recently to a party I'll be having later but didn't get any response.

It was a great buddy of mine, but I almost have this insecurity that he came to see me from miles away and us chilling was boring as hell.

What can I do to make interesting times with close guy friends?

 

[D_Smooth1900]

Take him out to a bar have a few drinks hit on a few girls teach him some game you picked up, or the strip club. At least my go to spots after I catch up with my buddies. Hope this helps

 

[amani73]

I've never asked myself this question.

 

[dark hawk]

@DaVinciMatrixStyle Hey man, what you have asked is a very pertinent question.

In your case, I don't think you were at complete fault when your friend left the third day. For any interaction it takes two to tango maybe he just agreed to the trip since you guys were close before and didn't want to seem rude.

Close friends are those people with whom you can just be yourself....they will be comfortable with silence and your behavior. Basically someone who accepts you for who you are.

If you need to change who you are with that person...maybe they are not as close to you as you expected.

Keep talking to more people and you will find your tribe. Where you will feel comfortable.
Here is a post by chase on how to to talk to guys whom you meet for the first time
another post by Chase which you can check out

Can others also weigh in on this?
I haven't been able to completely resolve this issue.
Cheers

 

[trashKENNUT]

What can I do to make interesting times with close guy friends?

Different value systems. Different phase of life. Lastly, guys not talking to each other is "hanging out". Guys talking with no responses is "hanging out". Guys talking in 'statements' is how guys talk.

Especially high level guys. High level guys talk in 'statements'. If they talk about gays are weird, or poor people are lazy. It's not that they judge you or attacking you.

They are mentally coming from a higher place. Thus it looks condescending. The voice can appear condescending.

Anyway,
I'm sure that you lean more feminine when you are having conversations. I definitely lean more feminine when having conversations.

But most guys are not wired like that.

They don't build conversations, unless it's related to where
1)where they want to go (purpose/king/male)
2)passion (Feeeeel)


Understand this and you see males behave like girls. Which is kinda funny. Don't tell them that I say that.

z@c+

 

[Starboy]

I'm at a place right now where i'm not very motivated to hang out with other men. I've developed and built so many friendships with men and i've gotten along with a lot of acquaintances from work and school etc that it no longer interests me to go seek them out to "hang".

I still have some good close friends and one of them will hit me up from time to time and we'll meet up to go shoot the shit. However I won't be too enthusiastic about it before hand and i'll do it more out of obligation to preserve our friendship. He is a natural is a fun guy to be around and one of the few pure masculine friends I have if not the only one which is the only reason why I consider him over my other average friends.

But right now my priority is improving with women and spending more time with them in a non platonic way. I don't really care for settling with friendships with women either especially if they're attractive. Girls that I know from social circles that i'm not dating or fucking I really don't give a shit about preserving our friendship and pinging them. Doesn't matter to me one way or another what she thinks of me or if she likes me as a person.

I don't know if this is a toxic mindset or not,but I just know I have to get better with women and improve my dating life. I've neglected this part of my life for too long that everyone who's not involved in that I just put them in the backburner or just leave behind.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

What can I do to make interesting times with close guy friends?

Take him on a night out and be such a good wing man that you get him laid.

I'm only half joking hahahah. Being serious it's normal for people to not talk full stop if they're together long enough.

Especially if they're the introverted type and need to "recharge". Also remember girls are much better at conversation than guys are.

But yeah... Help guys get laid to keep them as your friends, can think of at least 3 friends of mine that this applies too. Failing that talk about what they're into e.g. sports, girls and video games usually.

Yawn it's why I keep a close circle and don't bother with having that many guy friends. Rather have a girl rotation and a circle I dip in and out of.

 

[Lover]

Most guys love conversations about knowledge, wit and girls.

On knowledge: you don't have to know every little detail about everything. But if you have some baseline knowledge of something, there's a chance you may be able to contribute to a particular topic. Or you can start a conversation about something you just tried and share it with a friend.

Like the other day, I overheard two guys eating lunch talk about Bitcoin. I just happened to buy some Bitcoin for myself a couple of days before for the first time. I had read interesting stories about homeless people becoming rich from buying 10$ in Bitcoin when it had zero value and sell it when the value increased. And suddenly we had something to talk about.

Sports are an interesting subject. Guys love soccer/football, MMA and boxing in particular. IMHO, there is really no value to gain from talking about sports unless you bet. But a lot of guys love to follow these things to the T, pick their favorite teams/athletes and spend time watching matches.

There are a variety of things you can talk to guys about. I noticed that some of my new friends literally talk about everything they know something about when you're getting to know them. And eventually you figure out what kind of things you have in common with the other person. Other guys just let the conversation happen naturally. But you have to have some baseline knowledge before you can even engage in such conversations.

On girls: well... who don't love a good story about something baaad you and/or your girl did. Just think about who you tell these things to, and how much you share.

On wit: this is basically having a sense of humor and knowing what is acceptable to laugh at and what is not. With guys, however, you can often say absurd shit and they'll love you even more. From what I have seen, the guys with the most unfiltered or childish humor are the most likeable without being too much clown-ish, but I may suffer from a observational bias. This is pretty much trial and error to figure out what works.

 

[Skills]

Unfortunately, this happens, you just grew apart as friends (different goals and priorities and different friendship dynamics)

You need to compartilize the friendships...

Biz friendships for guys that you do biz with and co workers...

martial arts friends, self explanatory

Gym friends etc...

pu friendships guys you discuss pu and the theoretical aspects of it... (this is usually virtual/forums)

wings guys that you go out with and match your chemistry and style (this is extremely difficult to find and to reach a sync level and sustain it...), my current wing now is the weirdest shit ever, a good seducer, that is married, rich and successful, does not cheat, but turn women on and leave them hanging (i hate this cause it makes me lose many girls in 2 sets, specially, and he tells them he is married and does not take the number, major cockblock), but i totally enjoy his company, he is fun to be with and enjoyable (though pretty much the one of the worst for me if my goal is pick up lol)


Your friends fall into a category of a friend that i have just like him, i see him once a year usually for christmas and around many people, we catch up, but we grew apart he is now married with kids a family man (is bizard this guy introduce me to dance floor stuff)... 3 days with anybody i don't care who it is you will run out of things to say and get sick of each other.... You have too many high speciation's on the friendship...

 

[Derek da man]

@DaVinciMatrixStyle original post:

Personally I only try to maintain male friendships with males who I work with or do business with.

I much prefer and enjoy the company of women, particularly 1 to 1, so I'm nearly always out in their comapnay, or go out alone and meet female friends when out. That's not to say I'm not friendly and pleasant to guys I know and meet as they provide social proof and introductions but I don't really try and maintain the friendships by meeting up etc unless it's a social group.

Like you I find interaction with other guys quite challenging, this may be because I'm naturally quite introverted and have had to work hard on my social skills and confidence to be able to have good interactions with women which I now really enjoy, where as I don't get the same buzz from guy conversations.

 

[Yaxir]

Take him on a night out and be such a good wing man that you get him laid.

Especially if they're the introverted type and need to "recharge". Also remember girls are much better at conversation than guys are.

But yeah... Help guys get laid to keep them as your friends, can think of at least 3 friends of mine that this applies too. Failing that talk about what they're into e.g. sports, girls and video games usually.

This is great advice