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How much should one accept to go further?

Man-O

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
182
Had some experiences that made me wonder how far I should've gone vs what I did. I know it's kind of subjective and so far I've followed the rule of; "do what one with abundance would do" but recently I'm questioning that as it may limit my learning curve.

Ex: Day3 with hb5.5
1. Got her number on bar. She was kind of hard to get to talk, including her girl friend.
2. We meet up on a longer date. Bar -> Walk -> bar to play backgammon. Kissing hand holding (not doing this again) -> We set up a baking date by her place a day where her room mate isn't home.
3. By her place. She's tired and very boring. Tells me she hasn't bought ingredients for cake and she hasn't much prepped. We end up watching Friends and I try to escalate after 10-15 mins on the couch. She isn't keen on it and moves my hand away and she doesn't invest rly, just liking the hand holding and kisses etc..
I stop for 5-10 mins and try again and do it more. She moves my hand away but I keep on and then she goes to toilet. She comes back and I'm kind of bored alrdy and try again, this time she moves my hand away as I fundle her curves etc. I try a third time and this time she says stop. Then we watched tennis (wtf?!) and I got rly rly bored and started thinking of when I should leave, which I did 20 mins later.

Question: I've told myself she isn't worth the time, not hot enough compared to the fun-factor, so nexting her but would that be wrong, thinking of learning curve? There are other examples where I am getting kind of bored and rly losing my mood and I end up with same dilemma.

Trying to plough through too much dirt might as well ruin one's pace and/or ego without knowing, if you pick up everything as a challenge imo, but maybe I'm wrong?
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,637
Man-O,

Question: I've told myself she isn't worth the time, not hot enough compared to the fun-factor, so nexting her but would that be wrong, thinking of learning curve? There are other examples where I am getting kind of bored and rly losing my mood and I end up with same dilemma.

Trying to plough through too much dirt might as well ruin one's pace and/or ego without knowing, if you pick up everything as a challenge imo, but maybe I'm wrong?

You just need to gauge where you're at right now versus the actual value of continuing to pursue this situation. If you're a guy who has trouble approaching women, and this is just one girl from the very few approaches you have made, you'd actually be better off just dropping her and going back to approaching more women so you can get comfortable with that.

It's understandable that a lot of guys want to practice all the material as soon as possible (meaning trying to get all the way to sex with the first few girls you approach that agree to go on dates with you), but you're probably still better suited to improving some of the first skills (approaching, conversation, number-taking, etc.) before you start pushing hard on the latter ones.

So with that being said, if you've been approaching lots of girls and getting lots of dates but haven't been getting as much sexual experience as you'd like, then maybe it's worth investing more time in an average girl to try to learn how to get to that last step and get the lay. Then once you're comfortable with getting girls to have sex with you, you can start experimenting with more attractive women (and more experienced women) who will shit test you more and expect you to move more smoothly and faster.

Take it all in baby steps. Ask yourself honestly, "do I feel comfortable with this doing X yet?" If the answer is "no," then you should probably focus on getting better at X before you try to move on to Y and Z.

- Franco
 

Man-O

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
182
I'd wish you could put it up like that. Approach, talk and sex in how one should learn seduction, like the old mystery method but fact is women are different (which makes pu so fun). Some will be hard with the talk bit, some with approach bit and others with the sex bit, while others you can skip almost all steps. However I would agree some of these steps tend to have more sticking points than others in most cases but I wouldn't say they're THAT connected.

I suppose in the last scenarios it's me having trouble maintaining my own vibe when I'm at a different venue than a club/bar/café with a girl who's either not talkative or talks about things I rly don't care about, meaning I get bored. And I need to keep myself and preferably them entertained as well. Nexting one of them was simply me trying to run away from a challenge.

Thx for help :)
 
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