" How Naturals Meet Girls and Get Laid " Follow Up...

[Troy]

Now I know it's not OK to address posts to writers, but for this I feel it's important to make a exception ( though I'm not pressuring you Chase to comment) your choice.

The follow up is thus I think a lot of guys who still struggle with approaching lots of girls have the fear that they are doing far too MUCH work for the RESULTS they get. I see guys complain about doing 30 approaches in a night and only getting one dege dege number. No guy wants to go on 100 dates and still can't get a kiss. No guy wants to go out to work for 40 hours a week for 40 years and still can't afford a vacation ... Etcetera ( though some of these are rare it does affect many men ( and women) to some degree. Their are limits to how much even the strongest man can manage..

Every writer at girls chase emphasizes playing the numbers game and approaching lots of girls and talking to everyone.

Yet most guys get crippled with anxiety. I will be honest, I would not want to be the dude that approached 5000 girls before getting laid once. The numbers is too far apart....success vs. Expended energy+ failure. Results realistically IMO SHOULD be for every 10 approaches = a date/ number. I know there isn't one guy who would want their success to be waaaaaay less than their failures.

Sure there will always be far greater " rejections " than acceptance. It's normal. Even the greatest men on earth will end up socializing with roughly 10 women before sleeping with one. Some less, some more.

Failure is the greatest tool that makes YOU appreciate success. YOU :

Go to the gym and work out for 6 months before seeing those big muscles growing

Talk to 10 business prospects before finding one EXCELLENT business partner

Approach 10 girls before getting one date


Point I'm making is for the guys who are afraid of doing way too much work for very little returns, what is the best advice you can give to them? To deal with the impatience and the feeling to get results NOW instead of WAY in the FUTURE. For guys that want to see rapid success, what is the best advice you could give them to get it faster without so much " pain "? TBH Ive seen men who are not in a position to be successful with women because their lives suck so much in EVERY WAY. They don't have money, looks, game, good luck, hobbies, a job , they have awful fundamentals. Pretend you met such a guy in Shambles what would you tell him to improve before he talks to EVEN ONE GIRL? ( PS. I have never been in this situation).

I am asking this on behalf of what I see a lot of guys asking subconsciously in their posts ( and some of mine)

Troy

 

[Drck]

There are couple of shortcuts, I'll try to summarize them. It is difficult though because those shortcuts reflect sort of specific personalities which guys who have difficulties with girls usually don't have. Duh. So they sort of have to fake it, but the problem with fake is - that it is a fake...

* Confidence. It's a must, the more you are sure of yourself the better you will do. Trust yourself, believe that you can do it...

* Develop sort of dominance. YOU make the decisions, YOU make the choices. Lots of guys leave it up to the girl, they let her decide, they give her too many choices... They are simply giving away male power, they are showing weakness...

* Have balls. The bigger balls you have to say and do something, the easier it is. Girls like guys with balls (hope that this one doesn't have to be explained any further, LOL)

* Get rid of your friends. Beta friends that is, at least for a while. They have the same mindset like you, they can't get girls either. By being around their mindset you are sabotaging your own progress. Get used to being alone. Approach girls alone. You are are on your own, stop begging for approval of your friends...

* Rejections. Get over yourself, rejections hurt, they suck, and there is nothing you can do about it. Just take it, get over your ego and stop avoiding it. She has the right not to like you, the same way you don't like bunch of other people out here...

* Determination to have sex. Lots of guys go out and they just fool around. They are - as correctly mentioned above - collecting reactions, not results. Ok, reactions are good, they sort of raise your confidence, but you still have to have the determination to push things forward. You have guys that get the girl home, kiss her and get her half naked, and then they give up. They are still seducing her, she is laying in front of them naked and they a re still thinking what else is there to do... They'd rather do 50 other things than have sex because they are not ready to have sex...

* Get rid of useless thinking. Stop that flood of 10,000 seductions ideas, 500 different games and styles, 5,000 different approaches and 100 different sexy smiles. It is all useless. You are who you are. Don't try to be someone else, don't try to be that mysterious Alpha male, don't try to be efficient and experienced seducer if you are not. Keep it simple for yourself - you see a girl, go talk to her, just the way you are. If you are shy and inexperienced, who cares?

* Don't try to impress her with anything. Many guys here get trapped in the idea that they have to be or become sort of masters of seduction, that they have to know everything about seduction... They work on seduction so hard that they sort of trying to impress her with the whole seduction: "Look, I am such a great and smooth guy, you should like me". Just stop it, you are already a great guy without any seduction skills. They build high wall for themselves and then they can't climb over it because in their mind they messed up this or that, they didn't do things as they were supposed to according to experienced guys and so on. It's all useless. I mean, eventually it is good for progress and efficiency, but you can get laid without it. Remember, if the girl likes you she will easily forgive you many mistakes. And if she doesn't like you enough, well, maybe it doesn't worth it to keep working so hard on yourself at first place... Stop impressing her...

* Stop trying so hard. You talk to a girl, it's fun and that's it. If she is open, see how far you can push it. If she is not open, get a number and walk away. Try two days later, maybe she changed her mind...

* Lift weights, exercise. No, you don't have to do it at all to get laid, but it will overall give you huge boost. You are not only lifting weights, you are developing many attractive characteristics that you can use in different areas of your life.

* Be moderate. Be moderate with the above. You don't have to be confident or dominant 100% at the time, you don't have to be a champion in powerlifting, that's a wrong perception. You don't have to break your back with seduction to get laid. Just do something. Learn one or two things, and go apply. Learn another thing, and apply again. It might take you 3 years even with intensive work to become good, that's just reality. It might take you 7 years to be better than good. But you can get laid tomorrow without any skills...

* Have open mind. Stop focusing so much on yourself, stop analyzing your life and everything what ever went wrong, or what should be done better next time. Get out of the box called "My Life" and focus on the girl. What is she saying? How is she feeling? How does she talk to you, is she showing some attraction? Who is she as a person? Is she open for some fun at all, or is she totally closed off? Does she have sparks in her eyes when she is talking to you? Is she shy to talk to you? What does your heart say about her? You would be surprised, by observing girls you can learn a lot about seduction. You would be very surprised, lots of "open" girls are hinting many clues about possibility of having sex with you even within the first couple of minutes they meet you, no seduction is needed, all you have to do is invite her to your place in some indirect way...

* Don't get frustrated. Just keep trying, don't beat yourself up because you can't get laid. Remember, with girls many times doing LESS is actually much better than doing more....

 

[Skid]

Some really great stuff here. Especially for those who have a really long learning curve. Drck's post is actually a goldmine imo :

All the stuff that I had to learn and progress myself as a person is pretty much listed here all of it pretty much all learned through cold approach - scarily enough it is also almost in perfect chronological order of how I learned it still sorta learning the last 3 I would say. There are two halves to this journey : the skill set and then the guy it turns you into on the inside.

Skid

 

[Lotus]

There's a big part of the article it seems you may have missed, naturals don't treat approaches like approaches because they talk to everyone and anyone. They are social people all the time.

Dudes, old women, unattractive women, old men,etc.

When they run into a cute girl she's just another person he talked to during the day so there is no anxiety and no pressure.

You mentioned going on thousands of approaches and how it would become stressful, I agree it would. Turn it into fun, bring value to people's lives.

-Lotus

 

[Troy]

There's a big part of the article it seems you may have missed, naturals don't treat approaches like approaches because they talk to everyone and anyone. They are social people all the time.

Dudes, old women, unattractive women, old men,etc.

When they run into a cute girl she's just another person he talked to during the day so there is no anxiety and no pressure.

You mentioned going on thousands of approaches and how it would become stressful, I agree it would. Turn it into fun, bring value to people's lives.

-Lotus

Oh yeah ur right.. However I chose not to add that point into this post. I wanted to look specifically at the way MOST GUYS think about it, not the way I think about it.

In fact, Ive long stopped " approaching " there is a bit of pua stigma to that word . I'll only say approach because everyone will understand. These days I just integrate talking to girls in my lifestyle. It's way more fun getting my finances , my body, my hobbies and everything else done while talking to people ,not just girls. Back when I used to " go out specifically to meet girls " I always had this weird feeling.

All I did to change that was STOP looking at talking to girls being ANY different than talking to PEOPLE, after all she is just a human being , a person. Girls deserve to be taken off that little " approach pedestal

I appreciate the input Lotus, hope this clears everything up a bit. Thanks

Troy

 

[Ree]

Sure there will always be far greater " rejections " than acceptance. It's normal. Even the greatest men on earth will end up socializing with roughly 10 women before sleeping with one. Some less, some more.


Troy[/b]

Hey,nice post
This part is what im interseted about,what are the numbers for the greatest seducers....especially in daygame,how many approaches to lay ratio
....or even dates to lay ratio

 

[Richard]

Sure there will always be far greater " rejections " than acceptance. It's normal. Even the greatest men on earth will end up socializing with roughly 10 women before sleeping with one. Some less, some more.


Troy[/b]

Hey,nice post
This part is what im interseted about,what are the numbers for the greatest seducers....especially in daygame,how many approaches to lay ratio
....or even dates to lay ratio

Ree,

Here's a rough average.

Of 10 women, roughly 2-3 will blow you off immediately, of the remaining 7-8, about 2 will go nowhere, of the remaining 5-6; usually 2-3 will meet qualifications and you'll grab their numbers.

Of 10 numbers you get, roughly 2-3 will go nowhere, of the remaining 7-8 another 2-3 will be bad dates, of the remaining 4-6, you will usually lay about 2-3.

1 number: 3-4 girls
1 date: 3-4 numbers
1 lay: 2-3 dates

Obviously, these stats have change over time and if you compile a ratio it's 1 lay between every 12 and 48 girls. When I was starting out (and like most guys) your ratio was towards the latter, as you progress with women it moves towards the former. As it stands right now, I get laid on average from about 15-20 approaches.

-Richard

 

[Eternity]

So Chase, are there many naturals pulling with the mysterious, brooding vibe or are they rare? Approaching and making conversation but not too much and flipping the script where the girl is qualifying herself rather soon and he's in control. Basically, being social only with women he wants but not with everyone. A on/off switch one might say... Is someone like this the exception to the rule?

 

[Estate]

I don't know where this idea came from but it crops up a lot the last few months.

The myth or the natural or the frat boy... who is seemingly swimming in vag.

Let's be honest. It doesn't exist. The guys that you'd cll naturals, I don't think any of you see what goes on behind the scenes.

If a guy does have access to a lot of women who want him. Then he has some status, he's good looking, he networks, people know him, he has lots of friends and aquantances.

It's still a numbers game but these guys rely less on total cold approach because they won't need it as much.

A lot of guys here are starting from scratch. No status. No social circle. No skills. So yeah, it'll seemingly take a LOT of cold approach to reap rewards. Both in sorting out their issues and then actually meeting quality girls.

There's no secret lairs of naturals meeting and sleeping with women every single day at the drop of a hat.

There's no secret lairs of hot girls that us normal guys don't know about like some secret society.

Can we debunk those myths right now?

Richards stats are pretty good for a guy who's pretty solid like him. The ratio is obviously wider for someone totally starting from scratch but if guys can't make 10 approaches to get 2 solid numbers because it's "too much work", then what can we tell you? This won't work for you. Let alone making more approaches if you're starting out.

If you want a shortcut then the only thing is stop making so many spam approaches and make quality ones.

There's how a night at the bar will go for me:
There's a 10 in the corner. I'll have to cut through her friends to get to her and they've already shooed away 5 guys. They all look a bit sad and boring.

Next there's an 8/9. She's smiling. She's looking my way. She's talking to lots of people. She will be open to my approach and it will be an easy conversation to start.

Should I spam approach 20 of the girls like the 10 for 30 second interactions? Or should I go directly to the girls who's showing signs she's open to meet people, and spend a good amount of time having fun with her before getting a solid number now that we have a connection?

It's obvious right!?!? But guys, look for the girls who are looking for you. Getting a number (or whatever) is a walk in the park then.

If you actually make 5000 approaches in all sorts of situations and don't get laid. There's something seriously wrong. Naturals don't bed 10s every night. If you want numbers, you have to broaden your scope of who your open to. I feel all you guys want is a solid 10 on your first approach ever or else you won't make ANY approaches.

It IS a numbers game. For everyone. If you won't even make the first of those 5000 because it sounds too difficult. What can we tell you really? None of this will work for you.

 

[Drck]

Good topic, lots of great answers, so I'm gonna add another paragraph. Or two, lol.

There are also different kinds of naturals. Let's divide them into two kinds, extroverts and introverts.

Extroverts, as Estate correctly pointed out, have status, are good looking, have good network of people, can make friends fairly easily and so forth. Extroverts are simply outgoing, friendly and social guys. A guy like this shares a lot, he spreads around lots of good energy which is attractive to other people, especially girls. I know guys like this since middle school, that's simply their personality, that's how they naturally behave. Mostly they didn't learn it, the are just a result of the environment they grew up in. They have natural vibes, they can easily connect to any person, and they can use this experience to create a food connection to girls...

Introverts, which I believe is most of us here, obviously have much harder time. We don't connect to people easily, we don't have large social support, we are not so friendly, perhaps we can't connect so easily to other people, thus we have to learn all these skills. Nevertheless, I believe there are also lots of naturals among introverts. I would describe guy like this as strong- silent type, perhaps a loner but not in a weird way. I've know couple of guys like this, and I could easily assign myself to this group.

I'm in no way natural as described above (extroverts), however I believe that I can generate quite a good attraction and behave naturally. I've learned lots of social skills, but they simply don't vibe with me, so I prefer to keep "silent". I get headaches when I'm in a group and have to listen to that nonsense, it's all too superficial to me, I don't gain anything from groups, it's a waste of time... Thus I don't really need a huge social circle at all. Would it help? Definitely. But at the same time it is not needed, as I do much better one on one...

Although I didn't exactly grew up as a natural and studied PUA/Seduction quite extensively, I believe that I was able to nail down the important factors for natural introverts.

As already described above - Confidence is a sign that you feel good about yourself. That's very important, you have to feel good, feel confident in what you say or do, that's your vibes.

Dominance/leading and having balls (to say or do unusual stuff) gives you the right edge, it gives you the "strength". A loner who is rather too weak and not leading can be easily perceived as weirdo. You don't want that.

Independence, self sufficiency - simply being able to think on your own regardless of what your friends or the girls that you like think.

Rejections - as introverts we don't usually create many connections to people, it is too difficult. Not only we have to understand them, but they also have to understand us, our mindset. Which may not be so easy as we are usually not a part if the main stream, we do things in our way... However, once we do develop good connections (to that special girl) these connections tent to get stronger. Many times we can't just dump the girl and find another one as suggested, it is not so easy. You can sleep with 10 different girls but you are still thinking about the "special one". She is special in your mind because you developed deep connection to her. I literally had a pretty girl with amazing body sucking my dick, but I had to push her away as I kept thinking about the "special one"... Thus we have to learn about rejections, how to deal with the pain, because if you are not ready the pain can easily paralyze you for a long time...

Determination to have sex. It probably sounds silly, but this is actually quite a big one, at this time I even believe that this one is #1. It is all you need (simply keep pushing forward no matter what, of course in the limits of law and with her consent, you don't want to be stupid there). You wouldn't believe how powerful this one is, it cuts down all the nonsense and beating around bushes, and as long as you are not too straightforward you'll be doing quite well...

Perhaps last one can be summarized to Fuck It. Stop trying too hard, stop impressing, stop working on seduction so hard, stop doing so much, stop influencing the outcome with her, stop beating yourself down if you can't get laid.... Let her invest too, let her work on it... Just "be there", have the desire to have sex, yet at the same time don't push too hard...

So this type of guy doesn't really need to behave like the classical natural extrovert to get girls. As a natural introvert, you can also be quite successful, even without great social circle and all the other goodies that come with extroverts...

 

[Ree]

@ree

Don't think of the stats Ree. Everyone is different and a lot of uncontrollable factors are in play. A model lookin guy with a little game could have a crazy high percentage of approaches to lays. An ugly guy with awesome game and experience may have a TERRIBLE ratio but still be able to pull equally hot girls nearly as often. Do whatever it takes to get what you want and for everyone that will look different. An old guy may have to approach more 20 yr old girls to get laid than a 20 yr old guy, but may still get laid a lot more. Good doesn't mean you have the best ratio it just means you've hit your goals and found the path YOU needed to get there.

Honestly, the greatest seducers never even have to approach. Their ratio is at infinity because they've laid hundreds and approached 0. Think athletes, and movie stars. The best cold approach seducers probably are extremely good looking, extremely rich. However, there are also seducers who are meh looking and nearly homeless who can pull a new girl a few times a week but they may have approached hundreds and hundreds of times that week. Not so hard to do in a huge
Radeng

Hey Radeng
Long time not heard from u,
Hope yuv been good,and i hope many many legs have spread in ur wake since we last talked.....hehehe
U r right......i now see that approach to lay ratio will differ with different seducers based on many factors ,some abitrary.....however
...the date to lay ratio.....shudnt that be constant....i mean...once u get a girl to a date....iregardles of how many approaches u took to get that date,converting a date to a lay,that shud be kind of constant Among seducers of a a certain skill level?

 

[Ree]

Sure there will always be far greater " rejections " than acceptance. It's normal. Even the greatest men on earth will end up socializing with roughly 10 women before sleeping with one. Some less, some more.


Troy[/b]

Hey,nice post
This part is what im interseted about,what are the numbers for the greatest seducers....especially in daygame,how many approaches to lay ratio
....or even dates to lay ratio

Ree,

Here's a rough average.

Of 10 women, roughly 2-3 will blow you off immediately, of the remaining 7-8, about 2 will go nowhere, of the remaining 5-6; usually 2-3 will meet qualifications and you'll grab their numbers.

Of 10 numbers you get, roughly 2-3 will go nowhere, of the remaining 7-8 another 2-3 will be bad dates, of the remaining 4-6, you will usually lay about 2-3.

1 number: 3-4 girls
1 date: 3-4 numbers
1 lay: 2-3 dates

Obviously, these stats have change over time and if you compile a ratio it's 1 lay between every 12 and 48 girls. When I was starting out (and like most guys) your ratio was towards the latter, as you progress with women it moves towards the former. As it stands right now, I get laid on average from about 15-20 approaches.

-Richard

Hey,yeah...nice info
Thanx....i have some more questions,but i dont want to hijack this topic....heheh,il aim at u from a new topic,or a field report