How Should I Move This Forward

[Gonzaleth]

My best friend introduced me to his colleague recently. He asked whether I was interested in knowing a new girl and I said, "Sure!" His colleague was fine as well so we exchanged numbers (we didn't get to meet in person yet).

First day I texted her trying to build rapport and she was warm to me. I texted her on the second day trying to arrange a meet but she said she needs to "check her schedule" and she will get back to me.

Today is the third day and I am giving her some radio silence.

How should I move things forward? I find texting in this case to be like a landmine, without tonality of voice, body language and her not knowing my character, I am worried a simple text will get misinterpreted so usually I keep the texts simple and short.

I am thinking of dropping her a text tomorrow along this line (I think Chase has written something similar, but I cant seem to find it):

"Hi Melanie! How is your day going? You know, I am honestly pretty bad at this texting thing. I am sure you are busy and that is totally understandable. So this is what I am going to suggest: let me know when you are free and want to hang out so we can catch up then? I will leave the ball in your court then! "

And I am just going to leave it at that, no more texts from me. What do you guys think? Or should I try to build rapport for a few more days (though I feel totally handicapped using texts to build rapport, I am just terrible at it!)

 

[superomar]

Don't send that text tomorrow, bad idea, you don't want the ball in her court and you don't want to work on her terms. Try having either your friend casually get you two or three to meet up somewhere, or say something along the lines of "Hey Melanie, how about instead of being endless open books over texting, we get some lunch sometime this week or the next? We've got busy schedules but I quite enjoy meeting new people, so let me know your schedule and we'll work something out soon"

 

[Franco]

Gonzaleth,

First day I texted her trying to build rapport and she was warm to me. I texted her on the second day trying to arrange a meet but she said she needs to "check her schedule" and she will get back to me.

Today is the third day and I am giving her some radio silence.

I am thinking of dropping her a text tomorrow along this line (I think Chase has written something similar, but I cant seem to find it):

"Hi Melanie! How is your day going? You know, I am honestly pretty bad at this texting thing. I am sure you are busy and that is totally understandable. So this is what I am going to suggest: let me know when you are free and want to hang out so we can catch up then? I will leave the ball in your court then! "

Whoa, easy there, tiger! It's only been 24 hours since she last texted you, and she said she would get back to you. Give her time to get back to you! As a matter of fact, in a situation like this, I would give her at least a week to get back to you.

As far as the above text, I would only use something like that once she's cancelled and/or stopped texting you at least two (maybe three) times. Throwing her a text like that right now is going to make you seem very needy and will probably cause her to not want to see you.

So take it easy, and give her some time to respond. If she doesn't respond by early next week, I would hit her up again and ask her if she has some free time in her schedule that week. If she gives you the same run-around again next week, then using the text you mentioned above might be more appropriate.

Make sure you're showing her that you don't take it too seriously and that you'd like to meet up, but it's not something that's constantly on your mind.

- Franco