How to act from now on?

[Romy]

Hey guys, here's the situation:

I was out with a couple of friends a few weeks back, it was Saturday night and we met two girls. They both spent that Saturday and the next with us socializing. The last Saturday, we were kind of drunk and played good ol' Truth or Dare. Keep in mind that I noticed one of them eyeing me, glancing back at me whenever she could. And it was the better looking one, she really is beautiful. Since we're not exactly begginers with girls in general, my friends picked up pretty quick what they had to do in that game. I always wanted a dare so I made out with her, sucked her lips, licked her neck and whatnot, those were all dares and she was pretty compliant. She got questions like whom would she rather kiss or go out with from us bunch, and she always picked me.

Anyway, the night ended, I got the number and set up the date. The date was really cool, I took her to a coffee shop and strategically sat next to her so I could implement physical escalation. After that I took her for a walk down a beautiful street so I could "accidentally" bump into her and all those things. Needless to say, she's worth my time.

At the end of the date when I wanted to kiss her, I jokingly said "I wonder if I need a dare to kiss you now..." with a sly grin on my face. I leaned in but she smiled and said "Some other time", while turning only her cheek for me to kiss her. I was kind of disappointed because I expected a kiss no problem. I texted her after that that I had a good time and that I'd like a second date with her. Her reply was this:

I had a great time too We'll come up with something.

I was really disappointed with this reply because it's a diplomatic, reserved, vague answer. It sounds worse in my language, believe me. It could've been "Yes", "Sure", "Of course", whichever positive response that signals her interest. She's neutral. She could mean she wants it, but she could also mean she doesn't want it. So my question now is how should I act now? The date was literally yesterday. She's busy for the rest of the week because her brother is getting married. My gut and pride tell me to wait for her contact but my friends say that I should contact her on Monday-Tuesday, after the wedding to set up another date.

She's either playing a game of who's chasing whom or she's politely blowing me off. I hate not knowing which one it is. What should I do? Thanks.

 

[Lotus]

Why didn't you bring her home the night of truth or dare?

Sounds to me like you moved too slow and she knew she had you....so she got bored.

The first night you met the girls and nothing happened. The second night you managed to get extremely turned on under the pretense of a game, but missed your window. She still liked you enough to meet up for a third time and you tried to kiss her under the same pretense from the last time you met up, and it failed.

You moved further away from bedding her. Time to move on.

Lotus

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Romy,

Have you ever seen Saturday Night Fever with John Travolta. There is a scene where he is trying to get in this gal pants. She is giving him alot of shit. She says we have to part ways here. He says "Can I walk you home?'" She says walks off. Whining he says "Come on I can walk you." She says " You could have if you didn't ask." He got shit tested and failed.

At the end of the date when I wanted to kiss her, I jokingly said "I wonder if I need a dare to kiss you now..." with a sly grin on my face.

You made the same mistake as John. You lost your manly frame when you asked.

Sounds to me like you moved too slow and she knew she had you....so she got bored.

The first night you met the girls and nothing happened. The second night you managed to get extremely turned on under the pretense of a game, but missed your window. She still liked you enough to meet up for a third time and you tried to kiss her under the same pretense from the last time you met up, and it failed.
Lotus

To expound on what Lotus said - It doesn't sound like you did any sexual framing during the date. The physical escalation combined with sexual innuendos really moves her along. If you do just physical contact especially if is not sexual you will come across as playing around which is something kids do. You need to make sure she knows the physical contact is meant to be sexual particularly after you have already made out with her. If you don't continue to progress you can end up in the friend zone. Putting you hand on her back and holding her arm at the elbow are dominating and sexual. If you don't get resistance to this then rubbing her back and putting your hand on her inner thigh are the next progression. Of course this is all in hindsight.

This all takes practice and work to become good at it. Keep up a positive attitude and look forward to the next ladies.

BDSC

 

[Troy]

She liked you a lot in my opinion. Why didn't you attempt to get more than a kiss? You should have went for the lay.

I texted her after that that I had a good time and that I'd like a second date with her. Her reply was this:

I had a great time too We'll come up with something.

Eliminate the word " date " when talking to girls. It's a bit old fashioned to blurt out when you want a so called "date". Start using words like " chill out ", " shoot the breeze ", " take a walk ". Those statements are more casual and make girls more likely to say yes.

Big Daddy and Lotus gave solid advice so I won't repeat . All I'll leave it at is you missed the escalation window when you had the chance. Next time just kiss her instead of " asking " if it's " OK ". If she really likes you it will be more than " OK " and she's love your confidence and manly frame .

Troy

 

[Romy]

Thanks for the advice, guys, but there is a reason why I didn't try and get a lay with her that night. I obviously didn't give a deatiled enough description. The gist of it, she's not that kind of a girl. In fact, many girls aren't like that here, specially the ones looking for boyfriends. They're more conservative and want things to progress slowly, just as Chase describes in his articles. While we're at it, I also want a girlfriend and if I fucked a girl the same o second night I met her, she wouldn't qualify.

And she sort of qualified for the girlfriend/boyfriend/relationship role through the game and talking with her some more. Since sex is here sort of a taboo compared to US, for example, I honestly don't think that's the case. BigDaddySc, I also thought that it was a mistake. I didn't have a problem with just going for it, but I thought it could be more casual and not so stressed out if Is aid that. As far as sexual innuendos go, I think I was playing it "safe" since I didn't think she'd respond positively with such aggresive attitude. I touched her enough to make comfort. I guess I was wrong. Judging from your replies, I guess I won't be contacting her again, unless she contacts me with an above-frienbd interest level.

 

[ray_zorse]

Yahh blah blah blah, pedestalization! If she fucks me on the first night she's a slut! Well you didn't try so for all you know she may be a major slut, haha! If so, good for her. But seriously Troy and others are on the money, missed window/failed shit test/whatever, my own 2c is it's like a nightclub makeout, if you make out with her before getting her to the seduction location it won't work (usually) b/c the tension is gone, she knows what's going to happen and you're no challenge anymore. So where you fucked up was probably during the game, if you had kept your dares a bit more general and spread them round to the other girls and if you kissed your girl broke it off straightaway leaving her wanting more, and as others said, pulled her home the same night, you would've been in better shape. But hey, what are you complaining about, you got a makeout and lots of validation and reference points. Great going!! There are also tons more girls out there who like you. Go get em
Ray