How to Ask Men Their Names Without " Weirdness or Labels "?

[Troy]

In different parts of society I think people find out each others names differently. I can usually relate well to persons of the upper class when asking their names.

However when I meet guys in the hood and ghetto it's more difficult. I have asked guys their names and gotten weird looks, I'd ask in a bit more raw toughish tone but it still seems I'm not doing it the way they see as gangster like .

Mid Conversation

Me: ( tell joke)

Guy: ( laughs )

Me: What's your name?

Guy: Don't worry about that ( starts looking at me like I am a gay )

Me: OK ( I keep quiet after this)

This is just a base example. If I used this with a upper class rich guy he would have been pleasant . So can someone who grew up in the ghetto or somewhere that men have to be gangster like explain how to ask men their names ? I know I know kind of a silly question.... Maybe obvious answer to you ,but not to me.

Troy

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

I have some experience with this, having moved from a rough neighborhood/low class area to an extremely high class and ritzy one. It can come down to your tone of voice and demeanor when you're asking; are they black men dressed in a hip hop style? Maneuver your style of speaking to be a bit like them (not as much to become a poser, but instead of saying "Hey bro how's it going", say "Wassup my dude, what's good?". I know it sounds a bit silly but I have plenty of anecdotal evidence that it works, with guys from rougher parts of the city it also pays off to show your dominance (to not be seen as a mark), but also enough chill/submissiveness to not be seen as a threat.

So the way I would handle this convo is: phrasing that as more like "What's your name bruh, what's your name homie?", or building more of a common connection first; (if you're at a bar/club and he's working game, talk about that first). It's the same as when I try to number close a girl too early, I haven't built enough rapport.

 

[Lotus]

Asking for someone else's name is kind of awkward. I tend to introduce myself first and most of the time they follow suit.

I can't put my finger on why right now.... but it just feels socially improper to ask for a name rather then offer up your own IMO

-Lotus

 

[Troy]

Happy New Year Lotus and trackrunner,

My apologies on taking so long to get back to your humble advice. Christmas was such a busy time for me. I did take the advice into mind and I've applied it. I tried telling guys my name first but most didn't remember and didn't tell me their name.

Also there is a weird feeling about just telling them my name from out of nowhere. In mid conversation when the vibe is nice I say " I'm Troy ". And then I'd gulp. I don't know if the other guy thinks its weird but doing it like that makes me feel weird. Am I to ignore this feeling?

Trackrunner, I did what you suggested and I had longer conversations before asking for a name. Eventually when the guys were comfortable they sometimes ask my name. Mostly though, they heard someone else call my name and followed from there.

There are other little things I need to sort out such as learning overall how to joke and talk to ghetto guys. Their humor I find is somewhat offensive to each other but they all laugh together. They tell more stories and ask very few questions. But can anyone give me more pointers on how to talk to these types of guys.

Thanks

Troy

 

[Smurf]

That's odd. I've never really had trouble with this. No matter when I ask for a name I never get something like that. When are you asking for a name? Can you give some more information on that?

Jake.

 

[Troy]

That's odd. I've never really had trouble with this. No matter when I ask for a name I never get something like that. When are you asking for a name? Can you give some more information on that?

Jake.

Yes certainly. Before I made this post, I always asked for a person's name early into the conversation. It depends on how I was feeling. I always look at the vibe of the guys around me and do my best to imitate them. It usually makes me feel like a phony. Heck even if I drink and loosen up a bit I'm still stuck in my head feeling like a phony for attempting to act, walk, and talk like them.

Before I continue, note, I don't have to deal with this when I'm around guys I knew a long time and I'm comfortable around. Also I get along pretty well with the quieter, or high class, or reserved calm guys.

The struggle is to relate to guys in the hood/ghetto who are all loud and joke cracking none stop men who want to drink and smoke regularly.

So you may question, why if I get along with other guys, why would I want to put myself around these guys? Well I find they are the ones that make up the majority of male population when I attend parties. They are the dancers who all the girls want to grind with, they joke a lot and know how to bring lots of energy. I also happen to work around them.