Socializing  How to ask someone out at work?

AdamC

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 21, 2024
Messages
53
Hey Guys,

So I'm curious of a clean way to ask someone out at work, without coming off "weird," or getting in trouble.
Of course, my work situation is a little different than many regular 9-5 positions...
And, I'm only on this project this week before moving on to something else, but I need to maintain a good reputation for future work with the Guy that hired me...

My main target, although there are a couple others, is an Art Department Girl who came to Set yesterday to drop-off/or pick-up some set decorations. She was wearing heels, and just naturally I noticed the heels and said "you're working production, and wearing heels? wow..." She works in the production office, not necessarily on set. Regardless she's basically a 10 - 5'9 Model type.

Our project ends Friday, and I might not see her again unless she drops something off - but I would reallly-really Hate to miss-out on an approach and info/meet-up ask if there is a clean way to do it, because she is soo fine, and realistically (because of population) we'd probably not cross paths again in "the wild."

However, the challenges are that I'm in an industry that is heavy into the #Metoo thing, and PC Culture. It is a heavy Beta-Male Industry, and most of the guys she works with do recognize she is fine, but do the best friend, kiss her ass kinda thing.

She is in Art Department. Now, my side gig outside of what I am doing on this project is Fine Art Photography, which is kinda related to Art Department... I don't know if I can use that as a hook, or a reason to ask for a meet-up outside of work.

BUT... That is why I am asking you Guys here for any thoughts, recommendations, on how to make this challenging connection happen.
And I know there's a smooth way to do it...

Thanks
 

POB

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
1,041
Use what you have in common as an excuse to grab her number, proceed to seed a date via text.
On top of all the big problems that we know can come from dating a co-worker, this is a hornets nest (by your own analisys)...is it really worth it?
 

AdamC

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 21, 2024
Messages
53
Ahha, proceed to set a date via text using what we have in common.VS meet up offer then number. I can do this...
Thanks POB

Yes, hornets nest.
However I only have 3 days left on this gig, and probably won't see any of these females again after that. Would hate to pass up possible social opportunities.
Project ends on the 24th, too...
I'll figure it out.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,294
As much as i am against this you are leaving sp i would gauge by getting reactions flirting...

I only have 3 days you guys are going to miss me, my last day make sure you guys don't cry too much is going to be ok i still have social media and or phone...

Safe way is to exchange with couple of people all in front of each other so is subtle...

Usually a lot of co workers have wasap groups
 

AdamC

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 21, 2024
Messages
53
Good stuff...

So, with my main target - I asked her yesterday if she was creative in any way other than "being able to draw stick figures." She said - "ohh that's good, I've got some homework now..."

See, because she works in visual effects, but manages all the creatives. Whereas my other gig is art photography and she really liked it.

So how would I beat propose a "meet up" using her "creative homework," and my art photography as a justification for exchanging info???

Especially when actually today is the last day id see her (specifically)

Looking forward to your thoughts...
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,294
When people work together there is usually some rapport and some subttle vibing...

No offense but I can tell this has no happen with Target... So you are going to come out of the blue "i have a dick" low odds..

But just soft close we should keep in touch to collaborate in whatever you do? See how body language and she reacts then exchange info... If positive reaction...

The reason why community oppose to this, is that most guys good with women dpnt need to do co workers and usually people that do coworkers lower skills easier to fuck it up .. only reason I am brothering with you cause You are leaving
....
 

AdamC

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 21, 2024
Messages
53
I appreciate and agree with you!

However with this target VFX girl (outside of being Hott) I actually am interested in more of what she does and how it can relate to my side art stuff...

And our industry is weird. When production is up and running, we work 12+ hour shifts, sometimes 6days/week until the movie is finished.
So, not a lot of normal down time.

I just started learning Daygame in August.

And you meet people/ girls you'd really never meet in a regular 9-5...

So what would my pitch be to the vfx girl?
 

AdamC

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 21, 2024
Messages
53
Hey Skills, or any other experienced someone...

So I got the VFX girls number.
She gladly gave it.
We didn't get a chance to talk schedule other than she saying - im busy but just text me...

So like like the articles say, I want to move fast.
And get her out on a meet up
But, hard schedule close doesn't work
What is suggested here?
 

Rakehell

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
685
Hey Skills, or any other experienced someone...

So I got the VFX girls number.
She gladly gave it.
We didn't get a chance to talk schedule other than she saying - im busy but just text me...

So like like the articles say, I want to move fast.
And get her out on a meet up
But, hard schedule close doesn't work
What is suggested here?
Don’t overcomplicate it. Banter a little over text, use the momentum from the banter to segway toward a meetup. Somewhere lowkey.

Don’t over extend with the banter, before you press send ask yourself how it’d look as a screenshot to someone that you know. And how she’s likely to respond.

No need to get too fancy over text, do your best to build the vibe up and use how she’s responding as a guage as when or not to close for a meet up.

In her head you should seem like a cool guy who she’s open to meeting up with, without having expectations for how things go down herself.

Then when you’re face to face you can ramp the “seduction” up and adjust to the context when it comes to sexualizing and escalating things.
 
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