How to Avoid Being Awkward During Early Stage of Conversation

[Badabang]

It bothers me that after my opener, usually direct or indirect, even when if she responds well to it, it usually falls flat very fast because I don't really know what to say and an awkward vibe takes over. It sucks because once the ball is rollin I have absolutely no problems. How am I suppose to talk to her straight up after my opener? Should I keep it to banter for 5-8 minutes and then try to move her? If so, how should I banter in this context (I don't imagine myself bantering the same way with that new girl than with my boys for example)? Should I already try to deep dive? If possible do you have some sort of stages of conversation ? for example:
1-Opener
2-Banter 4-5 minutes
3-Move and deep dive
Etc

Please help me, I'm really clueless

 

[ray_zorse]

See this post that I wrote to Altair the other day. I have also written a fair bit about using cold reads to get things moving, and posted MANY complete example conversations, but unfortunately having written 1000+ posts and the search feature on these boards not allowing you to search for common words such as "cold" or "read" it is rather hard to find them later -- but there is gold if you have the patience to fossick for it. Otherwise check the articles on cold reading and deep diving on the main site and/or stickied LRs in the FRs section, they're very good. As to banter, I'm personally not a huge fan of it, I might crack a joke in the beginning (e.g. she's looking at batteries in the supermarket, I ask if she needs them for her vibrator), but I seem to recall Chase saying you only need one or two lines of banter and then you can switch to cold reads, asking about her, and relating. This is what works for me, except to say that in some environments (nightgame) and with some girls, the banter flows more naturally, in that case roll with it, but I wouldn't force it, you don't want to project the entertainer vibe unless you're genuinely in the moment and having fun with it, otherwise it looks tryhard. On the other hand, if you want to improve your banter, set yourself the goal of saying one funny thing or sexual joke within the first minute of convo, when I've done this I've had a lot more fun, even if I didn't actually get any numbers or dates that night, hahaha.
Ray

 

[Badabang]

Thanks Ray, I'll check those out and what is the Spellbinding Series? It's quite expensive

 

[ray_zorse]

It's a series of about 10~15 short video clips where Chase speaks to the camera and explains each time a different aspect of conversation, such as deep diving, relating, baiting, sexual frames etc. I found it useful and inexpensive, but having said that, it's definitely pitched at a beginner level, once you understand the techniques you'll find yourself using some of them a lot and some hardly at all, it depends on your unique style. It's also difficult to just watch the videos and then go out and apply all the techniques together, you have to do A LOT of approaching and focus on incorporating them into your game one at a time, this takes effort, so the extent you do it will depend on how much value you see in each technique and what you perceive to be the holes in your game at any given time. Anyway, it's helpful.
Ray

 

[onlyshallow]

Damn you sure know a lot about the reports Ray! Which ones should I look at if I'm interested in doing indirect direct game like Chase explains in one of his articles (something along the lines of letting your banana hang instead of hiding it or shoving it into the girl's face)

 

[ray_zorse]

Yes, well I read the core articles when I was starting out, and the ebook and bought the conversation series, but actually I do not like to overload myself with too much information, the dance-floor game series is a good example, I particularly like dance-floor game but I have a fairly solid process... and I know what the holes are in that process, generally that I'm having too much fun and not thinking about the pull and it gets late and I have gathered shitloads of preselection but haven't pulled... but I also know what to do about these holes... so basically I don't see a lot of value in reading the dance-floor game series and maybe confusing myself with a shitload of conflicting viewpoints... at the same time I consciously know that I SHOULD read it, but I'm afraid of finding some critical piece of information about something I'm doing completely wrong and having to change my whole game plan from the ground up... so in a sense I'm protecting my ego... but I've put off reading that series until I have time later on.

Anyway, that's why I'm not too familiar with indirect-direct, I've seen some examples of guys using what they describe as indirect-direct in FRs/journals and to be honest I haven't been too impressed, but that might be because they're not using indirect-direct properly. I like opening direct, I like opening indirect, not really sure what is indirect-direct and how it is beneficial? Because of this I pulled up this article for you, I'll read it later though.

Ray

 

[onlyshallow]

Yea I feel you, I always feel a bit overwhelmed by the number of articles on here too, but I just try to look at it as performing an art rather than a recipe or science. Kinda helps on that matter because it allows you to feel okay about throwing out some stuff that only confused you more. However, if you haven't tried indirect direct GAME (not to be confused with opener), I HIGHLY recommend it to you, was a big game-changer for me. But then again, it's an art so do what feels right to you. Here's the article : https://www.girlschase.com/content/easy- ... ect-direct