I've tried to apply what I've learned on this site to everyday interactions and it's worked really well so far. But one setback is that I don't feel as powerful around friends and acquaintances as I do with girls because I'm not directing sexual energy towards them or trying to lead them (too much). What's the best way?
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How to be cool around your friends?
- Thread starter TomGray
- Start date
Don't try to.
One mistake people make is trying to apply things they have learned in one area of life to another.
When friends try to treat me like a woman I see through it immediately and get annoyed.
I have also had friends who are learning sales who try out sales techniques in the friendship arena. Again, don't. Just annoying (eg I said on the phone to them "OK I've gotta get back to my work now" and they replied "Come on you can chat for another five minutes")
For me the whole point of a friendship is it is somewhere you can retreat to where you DON'T get all the usual bullshit.
If you have friends who like to push things a bit themselves there are some good articles on the site which would apply to them, like dealing with cock-blocks, dealing with social challenges and so on.
Was actually considering writing a post on the issue of dominance within friendships. There seems to be a bit of a contradiction between trying to be the alpha male of the group and being cool to your friends. The conclusion I have come to is that you become the alpha on your group by being the person within it who provides the most value. If you try to do it by "gaming" your friends it will just piss them off. Provide them with a lot of value though and they will happily follow you anywhere.
In fact I have had friends who I happily followed because of the huge value they provided me. Then the value ran out and they became resentful and tried to lead by manipulation/control instead and I quickly jettisoned.
One mistake people make is trying to apply things they have learned in one area of life to another.
When friends try to treat me like a woman I see through it immediately and get annoyed.
I have also had friends who are learning sales who try out sales techniques in the friendship arena. Again, don't. Just annoying (eg I said on the phone to them "OK I've gotta get back to my work now" and they replied "Come on you can chat for another five minutes")
For me the whole point of a friendship is it is somewhere you can retreat to where you DON'T get all the usual bullshit.
If you have friends who like to push things a bit themselves there are some good articles on the site which would apply to them, like dealing with cock-blocks, dealing with social challenges and so on.
Was actually considering writing a post on the issue of dominance within friendships. There seems to be a bit of a contradiction between trying to be the alpha male of the group and being cool to your friends. The conclusion I have come to is that you become the alpha on your group by being the person within it who provides the most value. If you try to do it by "gaming" your friends it will just piss them off. Provide them with a lot of value though and they will happily follow you anywhere.
In fact I have had friends who I happily followed because of the huge value they provided me. Then the value ran out and they became resentful and tried to lead by manipulation/control instead and I quickly jettisoned.