How to break things off formally with a girl who's screwing other guys?

[beginner112]

Hey guys, was wondering how I could break it off with a girl I know has been screwing other dudes. We've met a few months ago and recently I've found she's been screwing other guys, I've basically completely disappeared for the past two weeks, but was wondering how I can close it up with her. She's messaged me stuff like, "Hey are you mad at me" recently. Would writing something like:

"Hey, I've been busy with work, it seems like you and I are both on the same page on not seeing each other again, had a great time with you, take care" work? thanks!

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Be honest -

"Hey, been super busy with stuff, blablabal (insert your own shit). But word around the block was you've been seeing other guys and I'm just not into that. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time with you. You're awesome and our sex was great; I'm not mad at all and you do you, but I don't like to share. Best wishes!"

You can leave out the last sentence if you want to date this girl, as it'll give her more of a window to say "well, what if we date seriously?" But that's up to you.

Hector

 

[beginner112]

Thanks Hector, my question is, would bringing up the fact I knew she banged a dude to her cause me to look weak and affected or cause her to resent me(since it's a private act)?

I was also planning on adding,: "I understand why you did what you did, but a line's been crossed, ..."

To show her I am not affected, do you think it's ok adding this line? Thanks hector!

 

[Drck]

Why so complicated? It seems that you are apologizing for braking up with her... Why? She sleeps with other guys, she doesn't really care about you... She's a slut. Dump her ass, erase her number, don't reply to her messages or even block her... After all, that's exactly what girls do as well, so give them taste of their own medication... keep it simple...

 

[Thomas_ac]

I had a similar situation with a girlfriend of mine. We were fuck-buddies at first. And later on she told me she had some on the side during that time. Since I was fucking other chicks as well I didn't get mad at her. Otherwise it would have been a double standard. I accepted that she is a sexy beast like myself. It wasn't until much later that she started acting a little fake. I know she is still the sexy kitten I met, but she sort of tries to hide it since we are in a relationship now and it just makes me sad. But I'm working on it.

So if you guys had an explicit deal of monogamy then of course You hearing about her escapades requires swift action from Your side.

Couple of options:
1) Break it off with her without giving her a choice. If You feel like she really screwed You over.
2) Suck it up. I personally don't recommend it. This will kill Your self-esteem like a head-shot.
3) Give her a choice. You keep dating her as long as she is fine with You having sex with other girls. If she says yes, it is important to actually keep Your promise and go out every now and then. To meet other girls.

Now if you guys were not monogamous. Just FWB or sex-buddies. In that case she did nothing wrong. She is a regular girl. Not a fairytale unicorn.
Options:
1) If You still have a problem with her screwing around while You are in FWB/FB relationship then You have to deal with Your own issues. Best practice is to go out and get some. There is nothing better than another woman to get Your mind off of things.
2) If You realize that it is a double standard and can make Your peace with that then I suppose keep having fun with her. I see a great opportunity for some kinky sex. You can even ask her if she'd be ok with another girl joining in

I also second Hector's advice on being honest. Although I'm not sure if telling "Hey I've realized I've been imposing a double standard on You. My bad. Let's forget about it and keep having fun." would work.

I think I see some deeper feelings behind Your question but I might be wrong. So whatever You choose - it is easier said than done. But You don't get to be a seasoned man loved by women without making some hard decisions first.

Never get lazy
T