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How to build Comfort before escalating? How much?

Suave

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 13, 2014
Messages
73
The question is pretty much self explanatory, still, I'll dig in.

I have been working on my conversations for a while now, just talking to girls about their lives, deep diving in general. However, we all know that deep diving alone doesn't cut it, sexual tension needs to be involved between us!

So, my question is, how do you build Comfort? Do you even need it? If yes, how do you find out that there's enough comfort to start building sexual tension and escalating physically?

Thank you and Cheers.
 

ray_zorse

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Messages
1,982
It's not so much a comfort building issue, deep diving will build comfort. But the problem is deep diving sets a pretty friendly vibe, what you have to do is sexualize your interactions. A bit of teasing... today I asked my girl "so in politics study there's quite a lot of different subjects you can choose right?" and she replied "yeah, sexual politics, geopolitics, ..." at which point I jumped in to say "you like sexual things don't you?"... that's the kind of thing. Or I was at a parade the other day chatting to a girl and one of the floats was playing "Shake it off" so I said to my girl "ohh you'd be pretty good at shaking it, wouldn't you?"... obviously neither of these examples were all that subtle, but you get the idea, anything can lead to a sexual frame if you're creative enough. You also want to be escalating touch right from the start, I'm a pretty physical person and so I'm usually liberally touching her shoulder and guiding her around by the time we've been talking for a few minutes, it's hard to add it later so just get right in there, invade her space, touch her constantly, and graduate from shoulder to elbow to eventually touching bodies etc... that way you'll be in good shape when you go to kiss her. Lastly, build compliance before escalating... escalating is "taken compliance" and you will want to move her through the stages of "compliance requests" and "compliance demands" first... I cannot be bothered explaining in more detail, but above should help you look up articles.
-Ray
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Suave

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 13, 2014
Messages
73
ray_zorse said:
It's not so much a comfort building issue, deep diving will build comfort. But the problem is deep diving sets a pretty friendly vibe, what you have to do is sexualize your interactions. A bit of teasing... today I asked my girl "so in politics study there's quite a lot of different subjects you can choose right?" and she replied "yeah, sexual politics, geopolitics, ..." at which point I jumped in to say "you like sexual things don't you?"... that's the kind of thing. Or I was at a parade the other day chatting to a girl and one of the floats was playing "Shake it off" so I said to my girl "ohh you'd be pretty good at shaking it, wouldn't you?"... obviously neither of these examples were all that subtle, but you get the idea, anything can lead to a sexual frame if you're creative enough. You also want to be escalating touch right from the start, I'm a pretty physical person and so I'm usually liberally touching her shoulder and guiding her around by the time we've been talking for a few minutes, it's hard to add it later so just get right in there, invade her space, touch her constantly, and graduate from shoulder to elbow to eventually touching bodies etc... that way you'll be in good shape when you go to kiss her. Lastly, build compliance before escalating... escalating is "taken compliance" and you will want to move her through the stages of "compliance requests" and "compliance demands" first... I cannot be bothered explaining in more detail, but above should help you look up articles.
-Ray

Thanks mate, that's what I needed, there's so much information on this website that it is hard to put them into a process or flowing steps. I couldn't have agreed more about the fact that it's really hard to touch once you set a friendly frame! I'll read a little more on compliance and escalation.

Thanks agn. :)
 

Suave

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 13, 2014
Messages
73
DrexelScott said:
This is somewhat anathema to most PUA advice, but since I started doing it, my results were really taken to the next level:

Stop asking so much about HER, and start talking more about YOU.

I mean, share your opinions, make fun of things you think are stupid,and most importantly, talk about things that YOU find interesting, in a way that keeps her attention.

I mean, let's be honest, do you really care about that time her sister's cousin's roommate like, totally cheated on her boyfriend that one time?

Of course you don't, you don't give a shit about any of that.

It's good to get to know them, but keep the focus more on yourself than on her.

Learning to talk with enthusiasm, humor and richness about anything, will go a really long way.

Then you can even make a computer programming job sound exciting, something like "I'm a computer programmer, so basically I tell robots what to do. I'm like the Robot Boss, but I don't know, sometimes when I have a bad day at work I think I'll just program a Terminator and let things take care of themselves."

This skill is fucking funny and can turn anything into a positive, enjoyable conversation. When you can riff like that on any topic, trust me, you'll start talking a lot more and ask fewer questions.

I think I got it. Talk about her, but youself too, in a light bantery manner. I'll see how it works out for me.

Ty. :)
 

Lotus

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 12, 2014
Messages
624
DrexelScott said:
Learning to talk with enthusiasm, humor and richness about anything, will go a really long way.

Then you can even make a computer programming job sound exciting, something like "I'm a computer programmer, so basically I tell robots what to do. I'm like the Robot Boss, but I don't know, sometimes when I have a bad day at work I think I'll just program a Terminator and let things take care of themselves."

This skill is fucking funny and can turn anything into a positive, enjoyable conversation. When you can riff like that on any topic, trust me, you'll start talking a lot more and ask fewer questions.

This is essentially how my natural friends function and its essentially a conversationalist... women like being around fun people.

I would almost directly relate the effect of the skill to be able to go out with the boys and just have fun... they see you having fun and they want to have fun with you.

I'm going to get a little sidetracked but, it's why I have the best results with a good wingman or 2. We go out and have a blast, girls just want to be around that.


I think I got it. Talk about her, but youself too, in a light bantery manner. I'll see how it works out for me.

If you truly enjoy the conversation and allow the girl to enjoy it with you she will be comfortable
 
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